


Gehenna

by kupis



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:19:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kupis/pseuds/kupis
Summary: Kim Jaejoong is not actually human and has been on Earth for far too long.Jung Yunho is his new personal assistant and Jaejoong falls in love for the first time.    Gehenna [gi-hen-uh] - noun: a place of suffering and misery.





	1. 27 October 2008

After Yunho turned off the shower, there was a sheer silence in the whole apartment except for water drops escaping the man's wet body. Yunho sighed deeply, grabbed a hairbrush, and left the bathroom, watery traces following him from behind. He pressed the play button on the stereo and looked at his reflection in his bedroom's mirror.

“I guess I just lost my husband,” Yunho smiled, singing into the brush, “I don't know where he went.”

It took about two seconds for Yunho to fully get lost in the song. He chuckled at the lyrics, telling how the person sat with a drum boy, because at least he knew how to hit. The funny thing was, Yunho actually did that as soon as he walked into the bar and spotted a handsome man last night. About halfway through song, Yunho's towel fell off his hips, and was forgotten on the floor. Butt-naked he brandished around, thrashing his arms and legs like there was no tomorrow. As Yunho tried to reach a high-note, still gripping onto the hairbrush, he kicked over a lamp and it fell from the bedside table. The lamp broke with Yunho's foot hurting like Hell, but he kept on singing.

“So, so what? I'm still a rock star! I got my rock moves and I don't need youuuu!” Extending the last word, he tossed his arms into the air and then cussed, “That's right! Fuck you, Jihu! You fucking piece of shit, I don't need you,” Yunho then glanced at the now broken lamp “But you owe me a new lamp.”

Truth be told, that was the routine of Yunho's every morning for the third week in a row already. Normally, the young man with light brown hair would wake from his slumber at 7 AM. He then would move a little and feel muscular arms holding him. Yunho would smile, because he would just be so happy having the opportunity to spend every night in Jihu's warm and loving embrace. Smiling like a goon, the man would then leave the bed without making much noise. While getting ready for work, he would try to be as silent as humanly possible, because he did not want to wake up his lover. At 7:34 AM, Jihu would groan and roll in bed, slowly starting to wake up.

“Leaving already?”

“Sleep more, honey,” Yunho would kneel on the bed and press his lips to Jihu's forehead.

The drowsy guy would smile sweetly and sink deeper into the sheets. Yunho would glance at the love of his life for the last time before closing the door of his bedroom and then eventually – his apartment.

But things were not like that ever since Yunho came back after an exhausting day of paperwork and walked in on Jihu's stark naked body riding an unknown man's frame. At that moment, Yunho was too tired to even react. Usually he was the first to say something and respond in any kind of situation, but this time he was simply speechless. Recently, he had been having doubts that lately something was off in his and Jihu's relationship. But never could he have imagined that such a sight would appear in front of him. Two short phone calls and one meeting followed after the fateful evening. The unfaithful male let Yunho know every detail of what he had been up to for the past month and hearing how his lover cheated on him with an easy heart did not please Yunho at all.

It was not like Yunho did not love Jihu. He actually had sincere feelings for the guy to his core. However, being cheated on was just too much for the young man, especially since he had taken care of Jihu for the past two years. He took into his home a drifter from a small town, who had come to Seoul simply for an adventure. Yunho worked extra hard at a prestigious company in order to maintain a wealthy lifestyle for two people. Speaking of a job, Yunho did not have one anymore. He resigned from his position as an administrator, because even his work place reminded him of the face he still loved too much. It was not like he ever liked that job anyway.

So now jobless, Yunho finished getting dressed and picked up the broken pieces of the smashed lamp. He threw them out and looked at himself in the mirror once more. The guy was happy to finally change his everyday attire from a neat and sometimes too tight grey suit to black jeans, a simple blue T-shirt, and a thick green cardigan. With nothing else to do, he decided to go out for a morning coffee.

Sipping on his hot Irish coffee, Yunho settled on a comfy chair near the window. Through the clear glass he could see a busy street. People with stressed faces were rushing back and forth, glancing at their wrist watches all the time and holding their briefcases or bags tightly. Watching the entire flurry of people but not being in a hectic crowd made Yunho a bit anxious as well. Being at leisure was somewhat foreign for a young man and it hit him, that he actually had no idea what to do with his life. Should he be worried and look for a new job? Or was it appropriate for him to have some time for himself and just enjoy a carefree lifestyle for a bit? Maybe life had surprises in store for Yunho and all he needed to do was just sit back and go with the flow? At that thought, his mobile phone rang.

“Yunnie-bear!” a voice from the other side called the man by a stupid nickname.

“Minseo? Shouldn't you be at work?” he asked in sincere confusion, because Minseo, his good friend, never called him during work hours.

“That's why I'm calling you,” the lady said and started explaining everything, “My boss has been a real pain in the ass since early morning! He just came to work late and then told me to find him a new personal assistant within four hours. Can you imagine that? How am I supposed to do that?!” Minseo's tone showed more and more despair with each sentence, but she finally got to the point. “So yeah... I know you've just left your previous job and want to get your mind right after that asshole broke your heart, but I'm in a really terrible situation. Would you like to become a personal assistant?”

“I don't really know, Minseo,” Yunho breathed out after a short pause.

“Come on, save my life, please? Just think about it. You can start a new life. The company is way bigger than your previous one, you'd get a new kind of job, and the pay check will have lots of zeros!”

“You know, three minutes ago you said your boss is a pain in the ass and now you're asking me to work for him...” Yunho chuckled.

“His personality may seem like steel but he looks like he fell from Heaven. At least you'll be able to stare at his hot ass all day long.”

“Minseo, you really–”

“I'll text you the address. Be here in an hour. Love you, Yunnie-bear!” were the last word of the young woman.

Yunho wanted to retort, but he was not fast enough before she hung up on him. Not even a minute had passed before he received a text message with the address to “Kim & Co.” The guy took one last sip of his coffee and leaned back into his seat. He was a bit hesitant, but decided to consider the present given opportunity. Yunho was actually a very hard-working person and just sitting around was not his thing. He probably would have gone insane by the end of the week without getting his hands on something. Watching people going places in haste made Yunho dangerously envious. All that rush back and forth in the office, running with papers everywhere and coming back home exhausted was his real drive. He anticipated getting up early in the morning and walking around the apartment getting ready with lazy movements. There was no way he could ever exchange that for slow mornings like the one he was already having. On the other hand, he had heard of “Kim & Co.” before. Probably the most successful South Korean company at the moment with one of the youngest millionaires (according to the media, a billionaire-to-be) as the CEO. Not to mention, that the head of the company, simply known as Kim Jaejoong, was very handsome. Minseo did not lie stating that he looked like someone who came to Earth from Heaven. If Yunho believed the God to be ultimate beauty with extraordinary sex-appeal, it would definitely have the face of that one certain CEO. Even if the man had a terrible personality, Yunho would be able to deal with that. Nothing could go that horribly wrong, right?

With that question in mind, Yunho checked the time. Unfortunately, he did not have enough time to go home and change into a suit. He came way too far downtown for his morning coffee and the ride to the company was too long. For the first time ever, Yunho cursed the enormous size of Seoul. Hopefully, his clothes he had on that moment would not prevent the company from hiring him. He caught a cab and went straight to “Kim & Co.” Not wanting to wander around the big company, he sent a text to Minseo beforehand, asking to meet him at the entrance.

“Yunnie-bear!” the young woman called her friend, a smile of relief visible on her face.

Yunho just gave her a small smile and apologised for not looking professional in such clothes. Minseo reassured him that it did not matter and guided him to the CEO's office. She knocked twice before addressing the man on the other side of the door.

“Mr. Kim, your new personal assistant has arrived.”

“Let them in,” a nonchalant reply came back.

Minseo smiled warmly and nodded to her friend. He took a deep breath and opened the door. The man in the big leather chair took his breath away instantly. Even though he could not see his full physique through the wooden desk and piles of papers yet, Yunho was mesmerized already. CEO Kim had shiny hair, black as raven's feathers. That was the first thing that caught the newcomer's attention. He then noticed that Mr. Kim was not really reading any papers in his hands, he was just looking at one spot, his eyes slightly squinted as if he was thinking very hard or getting ready to attack. His whole frame looked quite stiff in Yunho's opinion.

Suddenly, the entrepreneur threw the papers he had been holding onto the desk, stood up, and approached Yunho. The latter blinked and introduced himself a bit too quickly, almost tripping on his words:

“Hello, my name is Jung Yunho and I'm happy to serve you as your personal assistant,” he bowed politely.

“You are too loud,” Jaejoong commented, staring at the man in front of him.

Yunho gulped his throat dry, the saliva going down his throat painfully. The black-haired man was a bit shorter than him, but his stern look made the other shiver. The new employee could tell his new boss was examining him. He eyed the man up and down several times, slightly crooking his head to the left side. The raven-haired man, who was probably sent to Earth by God, stood so close that Yunho could feel the air he exhaled on his throat. The penetrating gaze was too much for him, so he swallowed hard again, took a deep breath, and asked in a whisper:

“Mr. Kim?” 

Jaejoong just squinted at the man before him and stepped away. He turned his back to the other and grabbed his coat from the sofa. Without looking at the man, the boss gave instructions: 

“These papers on my desk must be sorted and read. The ones in need of my approval must be put in a separate pile. You have four hours.”

“Yes, Mr. Kim!” Yunho bowed quickly before approaching the desk, and holding back a loud gasp, when he saw the amount of paperwork.

“I expect you not to wear such things at my office in the future,” the other man threw his last remark over his shoulder before leaving the room.

Yunho looked down at himself. He wanted to let the head of the company know that he simply did not have time to change his clothes. But it was too late as the man had already left the room. While doing his first assignment, the fresh personal assistant kept thinking about the first encounter with his new boss. Still having a picture of that rigorous gaze in the back of his mind, Yunho acknowledged one simple fact – Kim Jaejoong was going to be a tough cookie.


	2. 28 October 2008

Like every other morning, a loud groan echoed through the penthouse, which was illuminated by early sun and which was the first thing that happened in Jaejoong's apartment. The young man stirred from his deep sleep and rolled in the sheets. He sighed again and sat up in his bed. With hands buried deep in his black hair and eyes tightly shut, the guy tried to endure his lack of sleep. He had not been able to reach the land of dreams the whole night. The entire time he spent flouncing in bed and tossing his arms and legs around. The reason for his insomnia was quite simple – Jung Yunho. 

When Jaejoong asked his secretary Minseo Lee to quickly find him a personal assistant the previous day, he had no idea his current life would make a one hundred-and-eighty degree spin. Yesterday morning, the entrepreneur was late for work. It did not happen often, but he felt a bit frustrated whenever it did happen. He would get slightly nervous and guilty. But at the same time, he could never understand one thing: why would he be so fussy about coming to work late or not even doing his job? In Kim Jaejoong's case, everything was extremely temporary anyway. With each passing day, he got more and more bored of the Korean millionaire's lifestyle, filled with vain luxury and people. But then again, he had been bored for the most part of his entire existence. Resting in his office chair, the man had decided to end his life in four days.

If anybody would be able to hear Jaejoong's thoughts, they would get the impression that he was completely insane. But the thing was, dying was nothing new to him. He had been going through time ever since modern humans began to live in Africa 200, 000 years ago. He had done almost everything. Appearing and disappearing in various bodies, in various places. Sometimes he left a big imprint in human history, sometimes he vanished as if he never walked on Earth. Death was nothing scary, but rather an old good pal. Having that in mind and deciding that Kim Jaejoong's life was enough for him, he thought of becoming an astronaut. One of the few things he had not done yet was go to space as a human being. To shake things up a little bit more, the thought of obtaining a female's form crossed his mind. Rachel Smith seemed like a good name for such a persona.

Jaejoong could recall how he was startled, when Miss Lee announced the arrival of his new personal assistant. He occupied himself with some papers and called for the person to come in. It took four seconds for them to enter the office and those four seconds were the last ones of Jaejoong's freedom.

He had not looked up from his papers to the person, but the presence of the other caught his attention. All of his still remaining strong senses and every ounce of power rushed through his physical form and he felt agitated. When he finally looked up and his eyes met with the stranger's, he knew that he was staring into the depths of a threat.

Jaejoong studied the awkwardly standing man's physique. The stranger had common East Asian features – dark eyes and hair, not impressively tall in height, and quite the slim body. The clothes he was wearing obviously hid toned but muscular arms and trunk. He introduced himself as Jung Yunho. If the CEO's heart was not wildly pounding before, it surely did after he heard the man's voice and saw the warm smile.

The memories from yesterday gave Jaejoong a headache in the early morning. He rubbed his rheumy eyes, stretched before hearing a small crack in his bones, and left the bed. By the time he had fully washed up and was leaving his bathroom, the clock hit 7 AM. At that exact time, his mobile phone rang. Curious of who would disturb him at such an hour, Jaejoong answered rather quickly, but regretted it as soon as he heard the voice on the other side. 

“Good morning, Mr. Kim. This is your personal assistant, Jung Yunho, giving you the morning call. I hope you've slept well. I'll see you at the office in two hours, sir.”

The irritating beeping sound reached Jaejoong's ear and he was left bewildered to a great extent. He did not remember ordering the new employee to give him morning calls, but then again, they did not talk much the first day. After Jaejoong came back to his office, the other was done with sorting the documents, and he had told his personal assistant that he must arrive the next day in a suit. But the raven-haired young man had no idea that he was not the only one who did not get any sleep last night. Yunho had met the same fate. After seeing his new boss, he decided to work really hard. The ex-administrator was not really sure what personal assistant does, so he spent all night searching information on the Internet. He discovered the morning-call thing, wrote down what he should say exactly, and patiently waited for 7 AM. Too bad Jaejoong did not care about that and was rather annoyed with the other's voice being the first thing he had to hear in the morning.

For a person who had no idea what went on inside Jaejoong's heart, it would seem as if the ireful man despised Yunho a lot. That was what he himself believed to be true, but he was too ignorant of his own heart. Since the moment Yunho stepped into the CEO's office for the first time, he unconsciously fell for the man. Even after spending hundreds of thousands of years on Earth, he had never developed a deep and meaningful relationship with any human being. He did hold long and prudent conversations and got into bed with all kinds of people from time to time. But never was there a person, who would make Jaejoong's heart pound crazily, just by the simple sight of them. Never was there a person, who knew what he was exactly. Never was there a person, with whom he would desire to share his secrets. But that was exactly what Jung Yunho did without any effort.

Jaejoong threw the phone onto his bed and moved to the kitchen for some morning coffee. He tried everything to get rid of the recently met man's face from his head, but nothing seemed to work. The guy calmed himself, thinking that maybe yesterday was just a moment of unfathomable weakness and that he found the brown-haired male attractive only for a few seconds. Maybe he would change his mind after seeing the man for a second time? He honestly had no idea what had gotten into him. Yunho was not even that astonishing! Jaejoong had seen far more handsome men and more beautiful women throughout his entire existence.

Caught up in his own thoughts, the head of “Kim & Co.” did not notice that he was late for work. Now, not being at the office on time once or twice a year was a normal thing for him, but coming in late two days in a row was not his fashion at all. Jaejoong grumbled incoherent words under his breath and hastened to get ready for the day and leave home.

Arriving at the company, Jaejoong hecticaly walked towards his office. He noticed secretary Lee, who stood from her chair as soon as she saw her boss. She bowed, greeting the man, and only when another voice reached the entrepreneur's ears, he spotted his new personal assistant. Yunho was awkwardly standing next to the secretary's desk, not really knowing what he should do.

“Mr. Jung, please come to my office in ten minutes,” Jaejoong said, focusing his gaze on the woman instead of Yunho.

He then left both employees and walked into his work space. The CEO tried to keep his strict image intact, but truthfully his insides were twisting into knots. The personal assistant's husky voice was lingering in Jaejoong's ears and he was starting to regret hiring the guy. All he wanted was a person who would sort damn piles of papers on his desk and then he would end his current life. But instead he got a man, who daunted him from the very first second the man saw him. One would think that Jaejoong could have just simply died anyway, but it was not that easy. As much as he was intimidated by the new man in his life, he was curious and wanted to find out things that caused him fear. Curiosity was one of Jaejoong's greatest weaknesses.

Too bad he had lost his heightened hearing years ago. Otherwise, he would have been able to hear the conversation between the two people behind his office door. That might have saved some of his sanity and made things between him and the personal assistant easier.

“He didn't even look at me...” Yunho said somewhat longingly, after the boss went into his office.

“Oh come on, Yunnie-bear. He was doing that soooo on purpose,” Minseo retorted.

“What am I even doing here? I have no idea what a personal assistant is supposed to do. Ahh, if only Mr. Kim wasn't so hot...”

“You'll get his ass eventually, don't worry.”

“Minseo!” Yunho hissed, looking around, “Don't say such things in the office! And stop calling me Yunnie-bear.”

“Whatever, Yunnie-bear. Go get your man,” the secretary kept teasing and motioned her friend to their boss's office.

The conversation between the two men went quite well. Except for the fact that Jaejoong kept avoiding looking at Yunho and the other could not stop thinking about getting into the pants of his boss, because has was just that good-looking. The head of the company briefly explained to his new personal assistant what tasks the other should fulfil every day and ordered him to make the agenda for the remaining days of the ongoing week. As Jaejoong kept talking, the brunet focused on his lips and actually relaxed a little. He could hear the tenderness hidden in his boss’s voice, which destroyed that tense aura for him forever. However, one thing did make Yunho bite his lip nervously and lose his smile. He was about to leave the CEO's office and settle at his new desk that was next to Minseo’s, but the entrepreneur spoke again:

“And Mr. Jung, I do not require morning-calls. Please do not disturb me in the mornings ever again.”

Right after Yunho left, Jaejoong sank deeper into his chair and rubbed his face. He groaned out of frustration. He had to put so much effort in order to look calm and confident in front of a man he just met. This was ridiculous! He slammed the desk with his elbows and gripped his aching head. Inhaling and exhaling heavily, the guy could sense the anger building up in his stomach. He so was not going to deal with this situation. The only wise solution Jaejoong thought of was committing suicide just as he had planned before meeting Yunho. He would come home after work, go to the bathroom, and draw up a cold bath. The young man would then sit in the freezing water and slit both his wrists with a new and sharp razor. And just like that, there would be no more Kim Jaejoong any longer. The cuts would sting terribly and the cold water would kill his every cell slowly, but Jaejoong believed it was worth it. He would just be born as a new human on the other side of the planet, far away from Yunho. He would never have to deal with that man again. But that man... why was he making Jaejoong so high strung?

The raven-haired thought of Yunho's eyes. He had not seen them today, but they were already printed into his memory from yesterday. Those two twinkling dots reminded him of Alexander III of Macedon. That conqueror had such lively and warm eyes... Jaejoong liked Alexander the Great a lot. However, he was not Kim Jaejoong back then, but simply Roxana, the beloved wife of the King of the Ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon. They shared good times together, talking about everything and nothing all night long or sometimes just laughing for hours. Alexander confided in Roxana and the other sometimes felt bad for not being able to return that undying trust.

Yunho had the eyes of Alexander the Great, but he also had something else. The simplicity and warmth of his stance radiated the feeling of comfort and assurance that one can trust him unconditionally. Jaejoong was afraid of that. He had never shared his secrets with another human being, but just the mere thought of Yunho made him want to do exactly that. Made him want to fall in the man's embrace and tell his story, as old as world's history. To tell about all the encounters and events that were still vivid in his memory and left the biggest impressions on him. To confess all the bad things he had done that made millions of people's lives miserable.

Jaejoong sighed deeply and stood up from his chair. He turned to the huge window and rested his hands on his hips. The CEO wanted to keep his personal assistant as close as possible. He wanted to get to know the other man better; to observe his behaviour and hear his thoughts. As much as he wanted that, Jaejoong also felt threatened by Yunho, because during super short periods of time he managed to evoke unknown feelings in his new boss. Maybe he should order the personal assistant to move into his penthouse? He then could keep the man near him all the time. Was asking that too sudden? Most personal assistants live with their bosses, right?

The raven-haired man heard a knock on his office door and told whomever that was there to come in.

“Mr. Kim, I've finished with your agenda for the upcoming days,” he heard Yunho's silky voice.

Jaejoong turned around and sat back down in his chair. He motioned for the personal assistant to come closer, looking him in the eye for the first time that day.

Yunho had prettier eyes than Alexander the Great, the CEO thought.


	3. 24 December 2012

With a stiff pose and hands buried deep in his pockets, Jaejoong counted massive snowflakes, leisurely falling onto the ground. He was standing by his office window, enjoying the warmth of the room, because the day had actually been extremely cold since early morning. Watching white crumbs of snow, his mind wandered to Yunho. His personal assistant was down in the company's cafeteria to get morning coffee and fresh bagel for the boss. For the first time the CEO actually appreciated having a place to eat in his company's building. Otherwise, his personal assistant would be forced to go outside at such a time. Yunho, a man with a bright smile and warm eyes, would have had to go into the merciless cold and freeze just to get a hot coffee and a morning snack for his boss. 

The person who evoked everything in Jaejoong: fear, misery, dismay, malice... curiosity, amusement, excitement... even pure bliss and happiness. A man who threatened him by being in the same room as him without any intention. The man who made him chuckle in secret by doing or saying something awkward. The human who made his heart flutter without putting any effort in it and without knowing it. Jaejoong could not let such a person suffer not only from cold winter weather, but from anything. Yunho should never ever be hurt. 

The black-haired man closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He could smell his personal assistant's scent. It was mild and had hints of jasmine, that tickled the man's nostrils pleasantly. His lips curled into a big smile. Soon, his stomach growled, killing the sweet moment, and he opened his eyes. With that, all thoughts of Yunho faded away. He noticed a man on a building's rooftop across the busy street. The stranger was dangerously close to the edge and he instantly knew what was going on. Last time he saw someone committing suicide, it was painful to watch.

It happened more than sixty years ago. To be precise, the day was 30th April 1945. The dark walls were heavy and suffocated him to the point he felt as if he was dying, lungs giving up on him. Well actually, he was going to die in a short time. But there were four minutes left until the fatal event. A female in her 30s was sitting before him. She had bobbed chestnut-brown hair and blue eyes. 

“Never forget that I love you and I'm yours forever,” the young woman spoke in fluent German.

She lifted the pill that she was playing with in her hands for the past half an hour to her mouth. The lady flashed her bright, warm, and self-assured smile for one last time before swallowing the pill, filled with cyanide. It took only a few seconds for the shell to melt inside her mouth and the poison touched her gums. Some of the cyanide infiltrated into them, while the other part went down her throat, worming its way inside her vessels and mixing with red liquid. Pain decorated the lady's face and she was unable to hide it. She wished for her lover to not see the hurt she was going through, because she knew her physical pain would not last long but her miserable expression would be the last thing the man in front of her saw. The young woman bid only good for the love of her life and for him to see her die was far from good she imagined. As convulsions took over her body and all blood drained from her brain, she looked the man in his eyes and tried to at least loom a smile, but failed. There were no traces of oxygen left in her brain and so she died, closing her anguished eyes. Before her head could hit the metal table, the man caught it and gently placed it on the surface.

The old man sighed; breath caught halfway in his throat, and started to choke on his own saliva. He coughed a couple of times, regained steady breathing, and gripped the pill in his palm, while pulling a gun closer to him with the other hand. The now dead woman before him was the only person he could trust throughout his entire life, not just bloody war. The lady's feminine wiles lured him into her embrace more when ten years ago and he was never able to go back. She had a certain look and knew the way to sway her hips in a way that when she walked, men turned their heads. Her make-up was unconventional for the time, fashionable pullover and short, narrow skirt, silk stockings and high-heeled shoes. Exactly what made all the men fall under her spell. One of the all time worst tyrants was not an exception. For him, this lady was not only the most beautiful woman in the town or whole Weimar Republic, but in the entire universe as well. 

The dark-haired man looked at the suicide pill in his hand. He was ready to die. He was at peace with his decision. For some, this might have seemed kind of brave. Not everybody had the guts to die and actually do that willingly, right? But his circumstances were extraordinary. The truth is, he was weak and could not take in everything that was happening. He had no ability to deal with the things he had done; zero courage to face the outcome of his actions, the blood of over sixty million people were on his hands. The man quickly swallowed the drug and grabbed his gun. He shoved it in his mouth and pulled the trigger without hesitation. Some of the blood escaped his mouth and reached his polished heavy military boots. This had been the worst life he had lead so far.

Jaejoong shut his eyes tightly and exhaled heavily. He placed his palms on the glass window and tried to hold himself on it. Office walls were closing in on him from the horrific memory. That was one of his past episodes that he avoided to surface from the depths of his consciousness. It became hard for him to breathe, the air stuck in his throat. The entrepreneur opened his eyes and looked up, but soon regretted it. The man was already falling down from the building on the other side of the street with a great speed.

“Mr. Kim?” a voice reached his ears.

It startled the CEO and he came back to reality, letting go of the memory and the glass. The light scent of jasmine filled the place and Jaejoong's muscles relaxed immediately. He repositioned himself and stood up straight, hands deep in his pockets. The man knew that nobody else but Yunho called him, but remained silent.

“Mr. Kim, is everything alright?” concern was obvious in the personal assistant's voice.

The man put his boss’s morning coffee and fresh pastry on the desk before approaching the guy. He looked at the raven-haired man and followed his gaze, fixed on the street. Yunho spotted some people gathering around something on the pavement, but could not see what was attracting so much attention. Only when the lights of an ambulance and police car reached his range of visibility, he realized that somebody had died.

“Oh my God, someone died!” Yunho gasped.

“He jumped from the roof,” Jaejoong pointed towards the tall building, after rolling his eyes at the man's reaction to what was obvious.

“Did you see how it happened?” the man with brown hair could not believe how his boss looked so calm and added, after the other nodded his head, “This is terrible! I could never watch anything like that happen.”

“Death is nothing new to me,” Jaejoong blurted out, looking Yunho in the eye.

As soon as these words left the man's mouth, his whole body tensed and he clenched his jaw. He felt like his whole existence just froze and time stopped. His eyes were fixed on Yunho's face, waiting for the other man to react. He hesitated, not being sure of how to comment on such a statement, but finally decided to be brave and changed the topic.

“I'm sorry to hear that, sir. And even though it's not very appropriate to ask for anything at such a moment, I really need you to let me off work an hour earlier today, Mr. Kim.”

“Why do you need to leave early?” Jaejoong blinked, actually amused by the man's boldness. 

“Well, I'd like to make it on time for Midnight Mass,” Yunho explained, uneasiness from his boss’s gaze creeping up on him, but to the man such explanation was not enough and seeing that from his face Yunho continued, “It's the 24th of December.”

“I do not understand what you are implying, Mr. Jung.”

“I'm Catholic. On Christmas Eve, I go to church and celebrate the birth of Jesus.” 

Jaejoong stood in his place bewildered. Of course he knew every little detail about Christianity, it was just hard to believe that his still new employee was a follower of all that nonsense. He shrugged and the awkwardness finally left the room. The CEO sat in his chair and talked, taking the bagel out from the paper bag:

“You may leave earlier today, Mr. Jung. And I know tomorrow is officially a day off, but I require you to be at home. Now, please introduce me to today's agenda.”

Yunho nodded his head in agreement and quickly pressed a couple of things in his tablet. He focused on detailing the CEO's schedule, while the other sipped on his hot coffee. Even though the men were going through their morning routine at the office, a phrase that slipped from Jaejoong's mouth lingered in the back of their minds.

Home. It was a place Jaejoong and Yunho had been sharing for the past month and a half. Living together was awkward for both of them since the moment the personal assistant stepped into his boss’s penthouse apartment. Actually, it was awkward enough already when the CEO expressed his wish for the worker to move in. He tried to put it simply and validly: “Kim & Co” was expanding drastically and Jaejoong had more on his plate, thus he was in need of someone to track his schedule from the second he woke up until the moment he closed his eyes for sleep that night. The head of the company surely could not tell his personal assistant the truth. You daunt me and I am scared of you, so I want to keep you under my radar 24/7 – now that would have just sounded creepy. Of course, Yunho was delighted by the request and was quick to announce the news to Minseo, who cheered along and claimed that her friend was closer to getting in bed with their boss. That spark of happiness, however, was replaced by great uneasiness, when the man came back to his own apartment after work and decided to pack. Only then did he realise that the situation was a bit off. Why would the CEO of the biggest company in the country want his personal assistant next to him all the time, even though he was a new employee and certainly not the best at his job? Did the raven-haired man... did he fancy Yunho at least a little? With this perhaps naïve thought, Yunho folded his clothes, a childish smile plastered on his face.

That smile never faded away fully. Whenever the man with brown hair was around his boss, he tried to suppress the excitement or at least not make it so obvious. But as soon as Jaejoong was not looking, Yunho had the widest and most honest smile in the world. And six weeks later, after Christmas Mass, he was on his way from Myeongdong Cathedral to his boss’s place, having that smile tattooed on his face once again. He entered the penthouse, holding a box with a Christmas cake in it. Automatic lights were only dimly illuminating the hallway and it was completely silent. Now, the time was kind of late in the night. Half past midnight, to be precise. But there still was an hour left before Jaejoong would normally go to sleep. Unlike Yunho, he was not the type of person to make a lot of noise, but still there was a difference between a completely empty place and the one with at least one living creature, quietly doing something.

Yunho took off his shoes as well as the thick coat and headed to the kitchen. He put the box on a counter and took the cake out of it. Fishing a fork out of a drawer, he kept thinking if his boss was really asleep. Somehow he managed to push out the thought of interfering with the other's life and checking up on him. He plopped down on the bar chair and dug into the cake with his fork, not bothering to cut himself a slice. The young man kept munching on the sweet pastry, his gaze wandering around the place. He glanced over the window and was able to see white snowflakes, falling down from the dark night sky. Loneliness crept up on him. Yunho was used to being surrounded by people on Christmas Eve. And only then did the man realise that he had no idea why he was in such a position at that moment. Minseo and her fiancé invited him to spend the night with them. He kindly refused, since his boss very clearly wanted him to be home. The fact that he submitted so easily and did as his boss had said was bothering him to a great extent. But then again, his boss was Jaejoong. And that man was someone who was intriguing and inviting. Yunho could never say no to him. He just could not do that. 

The man sighed and put down his fork. He had a massive urge to see what Jaejoong was up to. Yunho scuttled to the door of his boss’s bedroom and stopped in his tracks, before knocking. Just as he gained enough courage to call for the other, the door opened. A man with black hair looked up at his personal assistant, his eyes round in wonder. He waited for an explanation.

“I-I...” Yunho tried to speak, but his voice was caught in his throat. He hawked up a little and finally managed to talk properly, “I was worried, because it was very silent when I came back. Are you okay, Mr. Kim?”

“Yes,” Jaejoong replied shortly and noticed how Yunho's eyes wandered around his room, at least how much the half-opened door would let him.

“Were you meditating or something, sir?” Yunho asked, when his eyes caught a Tibetan rug in the middle of the room and his nostrils were tickled by frankincense.

“That is none of your concern, Mr. Jung”

“Oh, I'm sorry!” Yunho smiled guiltily and rubbed the back of his neck, thinking of what to say next, “Sir, can I ask you for a favour?”

“What kind of favour?” Jaejoong could not hide his amusement, because the guy's straightforwardness never failed to surprise him.

“Well, it's nothing big! You see, I bought a Christmas cake, but I've never spent this holiday alone, so it's... I feel a bit lonely eating that cake by myself in the kitchen.”

Jaejoong starred at the male with wide eyes, still not able to believe that the man before him believed in God. After a short silent pause, he nodded his head once and moved to the living room. The raven-haired man told the other to bring that cake from the kitchen. Yunho was quick to do as he was told. Sitting in front of Jaejoong, he dared to keep his happy smile.

“I really liked the mass tonight,” Yunho said between bites of cake.

He could not stand the silence when being with anyone, he always had to talk no matter what. But Jaejoong was not really responding, he was too occupied with lazily eating his slice of cake. Yunho kept going on and on about his experience in church, moving to the topic of religion in general after some time. He told the other of how he was raised in a Christian family and how he spends every Sunday morning at church. He confessed that he had even thought of a priest's path, but he met a very special girl right before graduating from high school and realised that he could never live without sex. 

Jaejoong chewed his food without making any sound. He glued his eyes to his knees, because he could not face his somewhat rommate. The man finally knew the reason why Yunho was never home on Sunday morning but he also just found out that the man was straight. The raven-haired man was not sure which fact made him angrier. Yunho noticed a deep frown forming on his boss’s face.

“Is something wrong, Mr. Kim? I'm sorry if I babble too much, I just–”

Jaejoong closed his eyes and inhaled. He wanted Yunho to shut up.

“I tried to meditate today.” the CEO confessed, putting his plate on the coffee table and standing up from the sofa.

“I knew it! Do you meditate often?” Yunho's face lit up. 

“I failed,” Jaejoong turned his back to his personal assistant and walked towards his room, mumbling the last words so that only he could hear, “I have never succeeded.”

Jaejoong would had been honest if he said that he had no idea why he even tried meditation. It just seemed as the only salvation in a horrid moment. The thing was, visions from that morning haunted him throughout the entire day. No matter how hard he tried to get rid of the thoughts, they pursued him. The only moments he could actually breathe and did not feel like puking all over the place was when Yunho stood in the same room. But as soon as the other left and did not come back for five hours Jaejoong regretted letting his personal assistant go. Even if it was for a few hours, because that was enough time for him to go mental. 

Life fading from warm eyes of that young German woman sixty three years ago was not the worst part. More sickening was what led her and the tremendous tyrant to where they ended their lives. Now, when people think of that inhuman period, they remember the Holocaust the most. But more than ten million Jews were not the only ones that died by his orders. The blood of fifty million more people were on his hands. All the doomed souls came after him even though he now lived in another time, in another place, as another person. 

Jaejoong was already in his apartment, when chills ran down his spine. Standing in front of the huge window of the living room, he looked at his reflection in the glass rather than the dark winter night behind it. His face changed right before his eyes. It became old, had wrinkles and a funny moustache decorated the skin right above his upper lip. He still had black hair, but now it was shorter and his eyes were blue instead of brown. 

“No... Please, no...” he whispered in German without realizing it. 

Stepping away from the window, the old man heard deadly shrieks of men, women, and children of all ages and various nations. They mumbled something incomprehensible, but after a short moment, he could clearly hear them praying, begging, and cursing in different languages, mostly European. When the stench of burning bodies hit his nostrils, it was too much. He grabbed his head, shaking it incessantly, and dug his nails into the flesh. With all his might, he could not believe that his past was coming back to haunt him. It was not like it never happened before. Mistakes from the past came to torture him with full force once in a while, but in his case “once in a while” meant once or twice per thousand years. 

He ran to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror above the sink. The man looked in the mirror and that old ugly visage was staring back at him. With quick movements he washed his face, cold drops of water dribbling down. He looked in the mirror again and was delighted to see Jaejoong in it. The raven-haired man's lips formed a feeble smile and he looked down at his hands. His eyes widened and his heart rate quickened again. Blood. It was all over his hands. Jaejoong turned the tap back on, this time with warm water. No matter how hard he rubbed his hands, the red liquid would not come off. He was scared to death and felt weak. A faint cry left his mouth. His mind travelled to Yunho. What would the man think if he walked in on his boss in such a state? What would he do? Would he freak out? Would he think that Jaejoong had killed someone?

“No, no, no! That can never happen!” a plea in Korean rolled off Jaejoong's tongue. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, but soon opened them. All the blood was gone and Jaejoong was fast to realise that there was no blood in the first place and that his body had not changed even for a split second. It was all in his head. Jaejoong had to do something. He had to get rid of the haunting thoughts. Many people meditate to clear their mind. Maybe Jaejoong should do the same? He never forgot that no matter how hard he tried, he never succeeded. The man could recall his life as a Buddhist monk many years ago quite well, but that life did not last for long as he could never truly understand the purpose of it. He could never reach what was promised. The reason behind that was probably simple: he was above all and already knew the truth of the world. 

But Jaejoong was desperate in that moment. So that was what the raven-haired man did. He went to his room, put a rug in the middle of the place, lit some frankincense and curled into a lotus position. Not much time passed before he was too frustrated and marched out of his room, only to bump into Yunho the second he opened his bedroom door. And in that moment, he did not need anything to throw the poisonous memories out of his head anymore. The simple sight of Yunho did it all for him.


	4. 6 February 2009

“Just dance!” Yunho shouted, throwing his arms in the air, “Gonna be okay!”

He then giggled like a little kid. Drunk people act like children and the guy was totally wasted. The music was blasting from the speakers, people were way too close to each other, but Yunho could not care less as he found himself perfectly relaxed and joyful on the dance floor. Neon lights illuminated the face of the lady in front of him and the young man flashed a wide smile. He leaned closer and whispered into the young woman's ear:

“You always make my birthday amazing!”

“I know! Now let go of me, Yunnie-bear, I'm done dancing,” Minseo demanded.

Yunho pouted but let his friend go back to her fiancé. He looked around, but only saw couples dancing, so he decided to go back to their table, too. He plopped onto the leather sofa and sank into it. The woman with her fiancé were sitting right next to Yunho, going on about their own business. 

“Minseo, I'm bored!” Yunho whined, trying to get attention of two love birds.

“Then go get some ass,” the girl replied instantly with a sneaky smile on her face.

“There's only one ass I'd love to get right now and you know it's not gonna happen”

“Speaking of our boss, I thought you two have been banging already. He walks around like a zombie with black circles under his eyes. I thought you weren't giving him enough sleep...” secretary commented with a serious tone.

“Well...” Yunho drawled, but did not finish his thought and said he was going back to the dance floor.

However, instead of going to dance, Yunho swayed his way to the bar. He seated himself on the only vacant chair and ordered a whole bottle of whiskey. The brown-haired was quick to get to the third glass of his drink. As he was pouring himself the fourth, a seductive voice whispered into his ear:

“Mind sharing some with me, buddy?”

Yunho turned his head only to see a handsome man sitting on his left and nodded curtly, motioning for the bartender to come and give the stranger a glass. The young man was too drunk to care, so he just looked at the man and smiled, giving him a glass of expensive whiskey. The stranger answered with a tempting smile, taking the drink with one hand, and stroking Yunho's thigh with another. The personal assistant was rather oblivious to the touch; he was too concentrated on the feeling of his tongue going numb from all the alcohol. The other man leaned in, suggesting for them both to go to the bathroom. Yunho just shook his head in a funny way, blabbering something about Kim Jaejoong. After remembering his boss, something in Yunho clicked. He threw the stranger's hand from his body, jumped from his seat, and headed towards the table where Minseo was still sitting with her husband-to-be. The brunet grabbed his stuff and said he was going home. In a haste he took a taxi and went home. 

Minseo's comment about their boss from before was stuck in Yunho's head. Jaejoong indeed looked tired all the time, as if he was suffering from insomnia. But that was the smallest problem. Weird things were happening at the penthouse, especially during the night, but Yunho could not tell anyone about all that. How could he even start explaining? Sure, he would sometimes overhear his boss talking in another language, his tone strict and demanding or pleading and full of fear. The other week Yunho was awakened by steps in his room. He could remember very clearly how he turned on the other side and saw Jaejoong in the middle of his room. It was dark, so the sleepy male could not see his boss's puffed, red cheeks, but the silent snuffle was not hard to be heard. He was too shocked to do anything and froze completely when Jaejoong started screaming at him, asking him to get the blood off of his hands because it would not go away no matter how hard he scrubbed them with soap. The morning after, the CEO acted like nothing happened, and so Yunho brushed it all off, actually believing that what he saw was a simple play of his imagination.

By the time Yunho reached the apartment he was exhausted, and all he felt like doing was just lying down besides his boss and cuddling with him. Somehow getting up to the last floor, he slammed his key card at sensor, but the door did not bother to open. In his frustration, he punched the sensor and groaned:

“Come oooon... I wanna sleep!”

He waved the key back and forth, his head resting on the hard surface of the door. Just as his eyes were about to close, he heard the delightful sound of the door unlocking. Yunho chuckled happily. Maybe he did that too loudly and the neighbours heard him, but he was not concerned about that at all. 

“Okay, I lied. I want my Jaejae...” Yunho sang, smiling to himself and pushing the door open. 

The young man got inside the apartment and kicked of his shoes before heading towards his boss's bedroom. On the way, he took off his gloves, scarf, and coat, throwing them on the ground. He was way too drunk to care about anything else except getting to the entrepreneur and confessing his feelings to him. Yunho could already see how it would all go. 

It was a bit past 4 AM, so Jaejoong would already be fast asleep, buried in his soft pillows and sheets. Yunho would knock on the door just out of habit, but enter not even a split second later. He would go to the bed soundlessly and shake the laying man's shoulder lightly. His boss would then stir in his peaceful sleep and open his eyes, squinting at the intruder. He would most probably grunt out something incoherent, telling Yunho to get out. But Yunho would not pay attention to the other man's demands. He would just kneel on the floor, next to the bed. The brown haired man would pour his heart out to Jaejoong. The sleepy one would perhaps smack him upside the head, tell him to shut up or that he is fired, and turn on the other side. Yunho would not care about that, he would be happy just because he got it all off of his chest. Even if that was the last time he got to see Jaejoong, he would have been joyful.

The brown haired man almost believed that it was really happening, until he bumped into a corner. He scowled at the wall and rubbed his forehead. Only then did Yunho notice that his socks were wet. The guy looked down and even with his blurry vision managed to see water all over the floor. His eyes widened in confusion. Why was there water on the floor in the middle of the hallway? Yunho turned to his right and faced the door of his boss's bathroom. Did his boss leave the water turned on? With a confused look still plastered on his face, Yunho knocked on the bathroom door, calling his boss:

“Mr. Kim? Are you in there, sir?”

Not getting any answer, Yunho pressed down the door handle, but it did nothing. He glued this left ear to the wood, but could not hear anything. Alcohol in his system made him react more hastily than ever, thus he tried breaking the door. It did not budge at first, but after a more few times and increasingly fiercer hits, the door finally cracked open with force. Yunho slipped on the wet floor and fell down. He stood up slowly, massaging his shoulder, which was now sore from the hit. The young man's eyes scanned the room. When Yunho finally saw his boss, all inebriation was gone in in that moment.

Jaejoong was in the bathtub, full of freezing water. His head was resting on his bare shoulder, but his eyes were half-opened. 

“Oh my God... Mr. Kim!” Yunho shrieked in horror. 

He darted to the bathtub, but tripped on his own feet and fell down again. The young man clawed at the slippery edge of the tub and turned off the water. He took a closer look at his boss. The other's chest was heaving very slowly and his body was still shivering a little, but he managed to focus his eyes on Yunho.

“Yun–” his mouth moved marginally, but he failed to actually produce a word.

Jaejoong shut his eyes and Yunho was freaking out completely. He could remember reading some random manual on the Internet about ‘how to be a good personal assistant’ more than three months ago. At the time he thought it was unreasonable to put a whole chapter on ‘saving your boss from any extreme situation’ there. But now he understood and tried to remember every little detail. He knew he did not have much time. 

With what he remembered, and still in a bit of a drunken state, Yunho pulled his boss out of the water and quickly brought him to the bedroom. He laid the man on the bed and wrapped him in all the sheets immediately. The brown haired man dialled 119, not leaving Jaejoong out of his sight. He reported the situation in a hurry, tripping on his own words a couple of times. The lady on the other end quickly sent an ambulance their way and told the fully alert man to stay on the line, asking him questions about the unfortunate man's condition. She advised him to not even think about giving the man any hot fluids or massaging his limbs, as if she was reading Yunho's mind. The lady did tell him to remove Jaejoong's wet clothes, wrap him up warmly and wait for the ambulance, which was going to arrive soon. The brunet listened to every word carefully and doffed the sheets from his boss. The raven-haired was still in his sweatpants and briefs. Yunho breathed in, and striped his boss with one quick move, tossing the clothing on the floor and burying him in the sheets. He put all possible effort into not peeking at the unconscious man's naked form. The way he imagined seeing Jaejoong without clothes for the first time was completely different. Just like the way that night had gone in his head, before he had stepped in the cold water. 

The ambulance was indeed fast to come. They took Jaejoong to the hospital and let Yunho come with them. He packed some clothes for himself and for his boss before leaving. The paramedics vitalized the entrepreneur within half an hour, since he only had mild hypothermia and it was not a fatal case. However, he had to spend the night at the hospital and was put in a private ward. 

Yunho spent the next seven hours spacing out, staring at his boss. He was so lost, but could not stop thinking about the man in the hospital bed. Something must have really bothered his CEO, the brown haired man thought. It was obvious that Jaejoong got in the bathtub on his own. The purpose was crystal clear, too. But what had actually happened to the raven-haired man for him to make such a drastic decision? Yunho should have given more thought to his boss's recent strange behaviour. His head began to pound too much and he was falling asleep in the uncomfortable armchair, when Jaejoong woke up. The personal assistant dragged his chair closer to the bed, catching the man's eyes.  
“How are you feeling, sir?”

Jaejoong kept silent and that was making Yunho anxious. The raven-haired gazed at the other's eyes intensely, not sure how to react. After a minute or two looking at each other, Jaejoong broke the eye contact and ignored his personal assistant's question. Memories from the previous day rushed back to him and he checked his hands in panic, examining every tiny detail. Yunho observed his boss with curiosity and fear. He was dying to know what was bothering the man in front of him to the point that the first thing the other did after waking up was looking at his hands with a scared look on his face.

“Sir?” Yunho tried to gain his boss's attention. 

“I would like to go home, Yunho,” the other replied in a hurry.

Yunho stood up to go get the nurse, but he stopped in his tracks as soon as he closed the door of the ward and was in the hallway. Realization of the CEO calling him by his first name hit him. He tried not to overthink and had no idea that the other man tried to push the incident away, too. Jaejoong caught himself enjoying the unfamiliar taste of his employee’s name on his tongue. Until that moment, he had tried to retain a business-like relationship with Yunho; always calling him by his last name, even if his involuntary actions sometimes showed the opposite attitude. Last night proved once more, that the personal assistant was both a curse and resort for Jaejoong.

When Yunho left the penthouse the previous evening, all hell broke loose for the CEO once again. He found himself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the hideous old face in his reflection. Dry blood was covering the man's face and hands, but he knew it was all in his head. He was not going to be fooled by his own mind again.

“Go away,” Jaejoong whispered in German, not really knowing to whom the words were addressed.

Nothing changed. The time seemed to be frozen. Jaejoong repeated the phrase louder and with more demand. The disgusting face was still in the mirror and the guy felt his blood boil. His grip on the sink tightened and a deep frown decorated his face. The man growled, but it only made things worse. Feather touches covered his body, grazing and denting his shirt. Jaejoong shivered from the invisible contact and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, but now familiar voices, coloured in mocking tone, pierced the room and the air got stuck in his lungs. The raven-haired coughed a couple of times, bringing his hand to the mouth, only to feel something sticky on his fingers. He opened his eyes and was met with dark shade of red liquid all over his hand. Jaejoong gasped, but choked on the blood still in his throat. The pressure on his body laboured and he began shaking violently. The man clenched his teeth, as the walls started to close in. He yearned for it all to stop, but it was only the beginning of his few-month-long nightmare. A simple attempt to meditate was not going to save him that time. Even Yunho's face was gone from the back of his mind and that he could not bear. He was miserable and completely desperate. Voices that whispered the same words, in different languages, now whipped his ears loud and clear. 

“If God is real, he'll have to beg for my forgiveness,” a man's shriek in Hebrew reached Jaejoong.

“Your perception of God is wrong!” he spat out through gritted teeth. 

At that moment his body twisted from compression and he hissed in agony. The piece of clothing on his upper body began to burn the skin, so he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it down with quick movements. He looked at himself in the mirror and was glad to be met by his own young face with Asian features instead of that haunting wrinkled Austrian countenance. Jaejoong's moment of joy did not last long for he saw what was made of his upper body. It was covered in multiple bruises, some the size of child's thumb, other clearly the marks of an adult's slender fingers. Where there were no blue spots, blisters were rising. Blood was seeping from the bruises and it itched terribly. Jaejoong could not withhold all the pain any longer and so he shrieked for his dear life. His whole body twinged; the spirits of dead people screamed back at him with full force. Bloody tears gushed out from his eyes and ears. When he thought that he could not go on any more, and his voice was close to giving up on him, the noise quieted and his wounds stopped aching. Jaejoong opened his eyes and examined his body. His skin was clear and there were no traces of the torture that he had just been through. He then looked up at the mirror and held his breath.

The skin there was clean as well, but it was not the face of Kim Jaejoong that looked back at him. It was a big, round face with small lips and eyes, and a pointy nose that was in front of him. His hair was no longer short and black, now it was curled and had a light tone of brown. 

“I see you've forgotten what I've taught you,” the raspy old voice reached his ears and he stood in place, anticipating the explanation that followed soon after, “Life's like a play; it's not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters.”

“Advisor Seneca?” he was in need to catch at least a glimpse of old man and make sure it was all real.

“It's very painful to watch you lead such a horrible existence from the other side,” Greek words echoed in the room, but the speaker was invisible.

“There is no other side, advisor Seneca,” he was sure it was him; he could not mistake that manner of speech with anyone else's.

“There's no me.”

The silence that fell after that phrase of the old man was unbearable and it rang in his ears. He looked at his reflection in the mirror for the nth time and sighed in relief when he saw Kim Jaejoong in it. The young man squeezed a little smile to himself. He pondered upon what just happened. That human from ancient times that he had turned into for a brief minute was another shadow from his past. Leading the life of cruel Roman Emperor, the last of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, he did some bad things. He burned down the prosperous city, only to blame the incident on the Christians, going after them and torturing them to death later on. A two-thousand-year old history was after him and he was terrified of that. 

The fact that his past was after him, stampeding the guy through to the slippery verge of last ounces of sanity, was awful already. He was forced to feel all the pain he had caused to others throughout the countless ages without any other option but just to withstand it with great failure. Jaejoong could deal with visions from a hundred or less years ago. They were fresh and still raw; therefore it was a piece of cake to bury them. Real and usually ugly reminders are not as hurtful and vigorous as older memories. Those are the stiff ones that are hard to slush over with an easy heart. Old memories are like old turtles with rigid shells: the minute you think they are dead, they resurface and are basically impossible to kill. It was not that much of a problem for Jaejoong up until now. The amount of history he carried with himself whenever and wherever he walked, in whichever body he lived, was enormous. With time he had learnt to inhume unpleasant past visions, so that they would leave him alone and never come back. The raven-haired was ready to endure the current torture for some more time and deal with memories from the past century, but what just happened startled him. 

He met Seneca two millenniums ago. He was a cold-blooded emperor all those years ago. And he was long over all of those events. But there he was, haunted by old memories. Jaejoong was scared to the core. His sole existence was totally out of ordinary, but for him, what just happened was unusual. The young man would have spent the whole night pondering over it, but his skin started to ache again. Jaejoong looked at his hands in panic, but he only lost himself, because blood was on them again. Painful blisters reappeared all over his body and he hissed. He grabbed edges of the white sink, smearing it with deep red. The tingle in his head was unbearable, so he pressed his palms to his temples. In the next moment Jaejoong wished he had not done that. He had to bereave his hands from the sink for they were glued to the ceramic. The man saw bits and pieces of his bloody skin on the sink. He looked at his hands from which the red liquid was pouring freely. The male was in total shock, he collapsed on his knees, and his eyes rolled back into his head. He could not take the pain anymore. Jaejoong had to get away from that place; the memories were torturing him and infecting his life too much. He realized that there was no hope for him and nothing could save him. 

Jaejoong was in the dark, only Yunho's face reaching out for him. But with a body covered in purulent wounds and fresh blood, he wished he was blind. If he was blind, he would have never seen Yunho's face. It was his anchor in hopeless situations, but it was the start for all of Jaejoong's nightmares. He had been losing sleep and his mind since the day he met his new personal assistant. At the end of the day it was loud and clear: Jaejoong was being haunted. 

He wanted to die, but that was not possible and he was aware of the horrible fact. The only thing he could at least try to do was to make the pain stop. The young man's body was on fire so the only reasonable thing to do seemed a stream of cold water. Breathing heavily and with gritted teeth, Jaejoong crawled to the bathtub and turned the tap on with surprisingly healed hands. He clambered over the edge and fell into the tub. His whole body ached terribly, but the freezing water cooled it off a bit. The exhausted guy relaxed his body, trying to divert his mind from the physical pain. As water slowly congealed the man's body, he started to lose consciousness. Jaejoong's ears caught the sound of a voice, but it was too distant for him to actually understand what the person was saying. 

And only now, lying in the hospital bed, could Jaejoong recall that the last voice he heard yesterday belonged to Yunho, his damnation and salvation. That particular man was the reason the bags under Jaejoong's eyes were dark; the reason it felt as if he had never heard of sleep. Instead of avoiding and distancing himself from his personal assistant, he should try to actually talk and spend some casual time with the man, the raven-haired thought. It seemed logical for him in that moment and he was sure that he would not survive another night if things kept going like they had been. Something had to be changed.


	5. 7 February 2009

If sixteen hours ago Yunho was fighting with the door to the apartment and giggling Jaejoong's name, now he was quick to unlock the door with the other man standing next to him awkwardly. He opened the door for his boss and closed it after both of them got inside the dark hallway. The personal assistant did everything in silence; turning on the lights and stepping out of his shoes, patiently waiting for the other man to do the same, then leading him to the raven-haired guys' bedroom, and helping him to settle on the bed with warm pyjamas and a blanket. 

Yunho's silence was chocking the man in bed and he started to have completely unreasonable thoughts. The usually chattering guy was now too deep in his thoughts to actually care about Jaejoong and it was obvious on his face. When he made sure the boss was safe and turned to the door, Jaejoong whimpered mutely, almost jumping out of the bed and running after the man. He was so sure that the nightmares would begin as soon as Yunho left the room and he could not risk it. But his body failed him and so the CEO remained in his bed. 

Meanwhile, the personal assistant had reached the kitchen with the simple intention to make tea for his boss, who suffered from God knows what – and needed God knows what. Right at that moment, Yunho could not be of much help the entrepreneur, for he was too lost in his own little forest of memories. He could not stop thinking about Jihu, his ex-boyfriend, and the reason for that was pure and simple, the way Jihu came into Yunho's life was similar to Jaejoong's path to Yunho's heart. 

Yunho was too busy to realise that last night, when he had found Jaejoong almost gone in his watery grave. He was occupied with saving the man and making sure he woke up in the hospital. Being put on guard and seated next to his boss's hospital bed, the man with brown hair kept trying to solve the mystery behind the CEO climbing into the tub and attempting to take his own life. Even the doctor was sure it was a suicide attempt, but he shut up as soon as Yunho tossed a few bills his way. Kim Jaejoong was a wealthy lad, known all over Seoul, he had no room for a silly scandal in his life, but he had a great personal assistant, who was fast to cover up the mess – even in a drunken state. 

Jaejoong and Yunho never really shared their worries or anything that was on their minds. Well, the latter – being a huge motormouth – could rarely shut up, but Jaejoong mostly did not reply to the other's twaddle, so there was no real connection between the two. Although the CEO acted as an aloof man, who was strictly about the business and showed zero interest in anything else, finding him nearly breathing in a bathtub full of freezing water was a true shocker for his worker. And then he called his employee by his first name for the first time in three and a half months. There was such a slough of despair in Jaejoong's voice and so much anguish danced in his eyes that Yunho would have been a total idiot not to see that something was definitely wrong with his boss. 

The brunet had few weaknesses and one of them was sympathy for the broken people. As soon as he saw that someone was in a miserable state, he did not hesitate to help out. He would always dive straight into other people's problems, even if no one had asked him to. The important thing being: it took way too many times for Yunho to fully realise that the outcome is never the same and he had to stop acting as a saviour of all, even if he did it unintentionally. And his last romantic relationship only proved it all to be right.

The brown-haired man's now ex-lover, Jihu, drained him physically, emotionally, and financially. He did not wish to make that same mistake again, falling for somebody who needed his constant care. Fishing a mug for the tea from the kitchen hutch, Yunho found himself torn between two decisions. He could either act cold towards his boss, ignore what had happened last night, and simply quit his current job. Or he could forget his past experience and throw himself into the CEO's ruptured life. Yunho was determined to make the first option come to life, but then he heard soft footsteps.

“Sir, please stay in your bed. The doctor said you shouldn't move too much,” Yunho peeked over his shoulder, one hand on a ceramic mug and the other one pulling a tea bag from the little box.

“I cannot be alone,” the raven-haired man blabbed out. 

“I assure you that I'll be back as soon as I make this tea, sir,” the taller one now turned around to face his boss.

Yunho caught the other man's eyes with his own, but was not heedful enough to hear how the other man's breath hitched. For a moment, the guy with raven hair felt like he was drowning in his personal assistant's eyes like it was deep water. Or sinking down, like in quick sand. He was not sure anymore. 

As soon as the bruent looked Jaejoong in the eye, the CEO felt at ease, his emotional roller coaster came to a red light and the weight of the world seemed to be taken away from the man's shoulders. The brown-haired man's eyes were of a dark colour and rather small in size, but they were so warm. They were so, so warm that Jaejoong felt like staring at the two gentle almond-shaped buttons on Yunho's face forever. He could not believe what a fool he had been, comparing his eyes to Alexander the Great's once. The personal assistant had so much compassion, benevolence, and tenderness that it was all new to Jaejoong. Despite the novelty, it bestowed upon him a sense of home. 

Home is never just a building, no matter if it is a fancy mansion in a desired place or wonky hovel in the middle of nowhere. First and foremost, home is a feeling that is impossible to describe no matter how hard one tries to do so. People are always quick to come up with a definition for this. For some, home is a place where they can be themselves, meanwhile, for others, it is where their family resides. But has Jaejoong ever been himself? What even is his 'self'? And he had so many groups of people to call his family throughout the millenniums that it wass not even worth counting. But standing there in front of his personal assistant, losing track of the time in his eyes, and breathing the same air as him, made Jaejoong feel so superb. He had never sought out a home, but here it came in the shape of Jung Yunhoo. He could not put into words what he saw in the other, but there was something in the way his personal assistant took him to a place where no one else ever could. 

“Mr. Kim, please. It'll be weird for me if I have to beg you...” 

Jaejoong jolted lightly and blinked from the sudden words. How long had he been zoned out? The raven-haired man just nodded and turned on his heel. He was quick to get back in bed and hide under his sheets, not sure if the light tint of red on his cheeks was real. Jaejoong was embarrassed because he got caught off-guard by his personal assistant and this was happening way too often for his liking. Even if he accepted the fact that he enjoyed the warmth radiating from Yunho, he was still uncomfortable with the way his heart pounded more rapidly whenever that man looked at him.

“Here's your tea, sir. I must remind you that the doctor strictly ordered you to relax and sleep a lot.” Yunho's voice called him from his navel-gazing again.

The man with black hair peeked from his blanket, only to see his personal assistant scurrying to the door.

“Yunho,” the man in bed cooed softly, his tone coloured by a plea, “I need you to stay here.”

If the currently recumbent man had not lost his superior sense of sight years ago, he could have been able to see how every single muscle in Yunho's body tensed and the guy was not sure if the blood was still pumping through his veins. Ever since he saw his new boss, the only thing he wanted to do was to get into said man's bed with no strings attached. Being there for the broken man and helping him to regain mental stability was not in the personal assistant's plans. Of course Yunho was a sublime human being in every way, but the current situation was exactly the same as the one he found himself in a couple of years ago with Jihu, who lay in Yunho's bed after being winkled out from the street and asked the saviour to stay for he needed the other's presence and manifold support. Saying that he had long forgotten his ex-boyfriend would not have been a lie, but the man felt like he had learned his lesson, therefore he should not become engrossed in his boss's personal life. On the other hand, did any of them have much to their own lives, when most of the days they spent living and working together?

Jaejoong really wanted to call the man again, but he could not find the strength. A feeling of despair and shame crept up in his head and he did not dare to let that name roll off of his tongue once more. At least not at that moment. Luckily, or perhaps not, Yunho turned around in a rather swift manner and walked to the bed, sitting on the other side from his boss. 

A miniscule smile formed on Jaejoong's face and he murmured a silent 'thank you' to the brown-haired man. Yunho replied with a cordial smile and positioned his body so that he could see his boss better; one leg bent under another on the bed, a hand fully flexed to function as a prop. 

“I would like to make an apology,” Jaejoong started, catching the guy's attention, “I am terribly sorry for disturbing whatever you were doing last night with my... accident.”

Truth be told, the contrite words of the entrepreneur did not have much impact on the other man. He would have loved to hear a thank-you for “saving his boss's freaking ass from drowning in that cold water and counting worms in a coffin,” as he himself put it in his mind. Was Jaejoong not thankful that Yunho saved his life?

“May I ask what you were doing last night? I think... I-if I am n-not mistaken, it was quite late in the night, when you came back,” the raven-haired folded the hem of his plaid nervously, not really able to maintain the eye contact anymore.

Yunho took a solid minute or two to reply. He could have told only half of the truth. The guy was quick to admit that he celebrated his birthday with some friends, but he was never going to mention the real reason why he was back home in the middle of the night and not only in the late morning.

“I did not know it was your birthday,” Jaejoong began his trail of white lies; he knew everything that was possible to be known about his employee from the CV.  
“There's nothing to be sorry about.”

“Did you have a good time with your friends?”

“Yes. It was a blast, too bad I took off earlier.”

“Did something bad happen?” 

“No,” Yunho looked at his boss with more heed, noticing his worried eyes and nervous rumpling of the blanket. Was the man being so attentive and storming all the questions at the other for real? Or was it just some act of Jaejoong that he had not seen before?

“I am truly sorry for ruining your night, Yunho. Can I make it up to you? I am sure I will feel better tomorrow. I could take you somewhere and we could celebrate your birthday again,” Jaejoong jabbered without even realising it, “I mean, if you would like to spend time with me and you do not have other plans...”

“Sure, sir. I'd love to,” and with that, Yunho's guard was dropped and long forgotten. 

Jaejoong grabbed his cup of tea, not knowing what to say next, and the brunet just stared at the man, thinking of how fucked he was, because he could not act cold towards the CEO no matter how hard he tried. The raven-haired man yawned, failing to fully cover his mouth with a hand.

“You should go to sleep, Mr. Kim,” Yunho reminded the boss of what the doctor said and stood from the bed.

“Yunho, c-can I ask for a f-favour?” the other shifted on his bed the moment his personal assistant left it, “I know we are not even friends, b-but... could you spend the night here?”

Yunho could not make himself speak let alone react with his body for a couple of minutes. He just stood there, facing his boss, and eyeing him for the moment. The man’s gaze stopped at the other's face, carefully examining it. Lips formed into a slight pout, bottom lip caught between teeth, cheeks coloured in a light shade of pink, and eyes showing nothing else but an innocent plea. Plus, the raven-haired had stammered. Kim Jaejoong never ever stuttered. 

“Alright, sir. I'll just get changed and bring something to lie on.”

Yunho practically stormed out of Jaejoong's bedroom, when he said that. The latter finished his tea and waited for his personal assistant to come back with a heavily pounding heart. Yunho did not take long to change into his pyjama pants and plain grey T-shirt. He took out a thick blanket from his wardrobe, grabbed his pillow and thinner blanket from the bed, and walked back to the entrepreneur's room slowly. Then the guy made his bedding in silence, and wrapped himself in the blanket.

“Good night, sir,” was the only thing Yunho said to his boss before quickly falling asleep.

The night was not good like the personal assistant wished for it to be. In fact, it was a total catastrophe. The man was woken up by loud sobs and some shouts in a language he did not understand. He sat up and looked around, but the boss was not in his bed and the noise coming from the bathroom got louder, followed by a crash. Yunho jumped from the floor and ran to the bathroom, almost tripping on his feet. He slammed the door open and the sight that appeared before him was worse than from the previous night. All he could see was blood, covering his boss, and all he could hear was shrieks for which the closest word to describe he could find was 'crepitating.'

Yunho shinned to the man with black hair and grabbed pieces of glass from his hands, tossing them into the sink where more pieces of broken mirror glass were. Jaejoong was crying uncontrollably and telling something that only he could understand, but Yunho was too focused on stopping the bleeding and cleaning the mess. He pressed on the wounds and lead the crying man to the bathtub, seating him on the edge. Then, the brunet cleaned the cuts with warm water, scrutinizing for anything too deep. He picked up a first-aid kit from a cupboard and found some antibiotic ointment. His moves were rather harsh and hectic at first, but just as Jaejoong's cries quieted down, they turned into gentle caresses. Yunho put a sterile bandage on each cut, using three medical supplies in total. Luckily, the cuts were not deep and he decided that such treatment of the wounds should be enough. He tenderly patted his boss's arms one last time and looked up for the first time. The man gulped hard for Jaejoong's face was covered in blood. He could not hide a deep sigh. The personal assistant really felt tired. He moistened his hand with warm water again and cleaned wiped the blood off the exhausted face. The CEO's cheeks were still red and puffy from crying and his eyes were watery, but at least the blood was all gone from his skin. 

“You should change your shirt, sir,” Yunho said calmly, spotting some dried blood on the clothing.

Jaejoong obeyed without a word and retreated to the room, while Yunho occupied himself with cleaning the floor and throwing away the shattered mirror. Seriously, he could not comprehend what had just happened. The raven-haired seemed perfectly fine. Or more like just too exhausted to go through a night terror, when they fell asleep. The more Yunho wondered what was wrong with his boss, the more he wanted to get inside the other's head and get all the answers. When he left the bathroom, Jaejoong was sitting on his bed, elbows buried in his crossed legs and forehead in his palms. Yunho approached the bed carefully, not sure if he should say anything.

“I am so sorry, Yunho,” the guy spoke as soon as he felt the presence of the other fill the place.

“It's okay, sir. Just rest,” the brunet replied.

“Yunho,” the man cooed, putting his arms down and looking up with his teary eyes, “Can you hug me?”

Yunho did not hesitate, even though he assured himself that he did. A pair of arms wrapped around Jaejoong's upper body, intertwining behind his back. Shackled in the tight, warm embrace, he felt like the whole world went still and he could finally breathe without choking. He relaxed his arms, resting against the hard chest, and lay his head on the other's broad shoulder, nose brushing the neck.

“Can I ask you something?” Yunho spoke after five minutes of them just sitting there, continuing after Jaejoong's soft hum, “What happened back there?”

“I was almost asleep, but then it came back,” the other tried to explain, although all of it sounded quite obscure to Yunho, “I tried to ignore it, but that did not help. I wanted to check if I was still there, so I looked in the mirror, it only got worse,” silent tears escaped Jaejoong's eyes as he spoke, “And all of the worst ones came back, it was just too much. I punched the mirror, but it hurt so much... I just... I-I cannot deal with it. It is so ugly, it makes me vomit!”

“What's so ugly?” Yunho asked, trying to understand the nebulous speech, and slowly rocked the man in his arms back and forth.

“Memories.”

“Mr. Kim, what happened in your past doesn't matter. It's just your story. But you have to realise it so it'll have no power over you. You have to let go and live in the present,” the man tried his hardest to come up with any words of wisdom.

Jaejoong did not say more, he just kept weeping, while Yunho put all of his strength into stopping himself from patting his boss's head and planting kisses of comfort all over his face. His soft spot for people in misery was open again and he was ready to take care of the entrepreneur like a mama-bear. 

“Now I know why Miss Lee calls you Yunnie-bear,” Jaejoong suddenly confessed.

“Oh my God, when did you hear her saying that?” Yunho could not believe what he was hearing.

“You two are very loud at work, I can hear almost everything, Yunnie-bear,” Jaejoong explained with a mumble, clutching the fabric of the guy's T-shirt.

Yunho was left dumbfounded as Jaejoong finally fell asleep right there in his cuddle. The past couple of days were like a wild roller coaster and he was not sure if he could take it all in this quickly. He could only wonder what the next day would bring.


	6. 8 February 2009

The next morning Yunho awoke to the scent of bean sprout soup and rice with some stew sneaking up his nose and tickling his nostrils. The young man thought he was dreaming, so he just hummed lazily and grabbed onto warm sheets. Only when a manly voice calling him reached his ears, did Yunho open his eyes and look around. It took a few moments for him to come to his senses and realise where he was.

“Ah, finally! I made breakfast for your belated birthday,” Jaejoong burst out, while sitting on the edge of the bed next to woken male and holding a tray that held the food.

“Mr. Kim, I–” Yunho started, sitting up in the bed and rubbing his rheumy eyes, but was cut off immediately.

“Do not say anything, just have some food. Or would you prefer to wash up first and have breakfast in the dining-room?”

“Here is okay, I guess,” Yunho answered, still confused about every detail of the current situation.

And really, there were so many things to be confused about, he did not even know which detail was baffling him the most. The first thing he managed to get the better of was the fact that his boss just presented a full tray of fancy breakfast things he normally would not have for the first meal of the day. Then, already with a spoon in his hand and with a slightly less sleep-set mind, Yunho looked around the room and realised that the bed he lay in was not his, but Jaejoong's. He assumed that he probably fell asleep together with the other still in his arms last night and withheld the smile on his face from appearing, but the CEO was observant enough to catch how Yunho's eyes had glistened for a short moment.

“Come on, try some soup. I have not cooked for a while, but I tried my best.” Jaejoong encouraged his personal assistant to finally take a bite of the food.

Yunho obeyed his boss and put a spoonful of warm liquid into his mouth. He munched on it, savouring the taste. The food was really great, it slid down Yunho's throat like honey and the guy did not even notice that he started to dig into the meal presented to him a bit more fervently.

“Where are my blankets and the pillow?” he asked in-between massive bites.

“I put them back into your closet, except for the pillow, which I left on the bed. I hope you do not mind me intruding into your room without your consent,” Jaejoong was fast to reply with all the details.

“You shouldn't overdo yourself, sir. You probably aren't in your best condition yet,” Yunho said and instantly remembered last night. 

The man, with yet another mouthful of food, looked at his boss like he was an inspector. He took a good look at the other man's hands, spotting only one bandage instead of three. It seemed fresh, so obviously the raven-haired had attended injury himself this morning.

“I am perfectly fine, Yunho,” Jaejoong assured him with a smile.

“How are your hands, sir?” the other asked instead, grabbing a glass of water.

“They will heal. It is not as bad as it might have seemed yesterday. Withal, I have suffered much worse,” he answered honestly, pressing on the bandage absently.

“Thank you for the breakfast, I will wash the dishes,” Yunho said, setting the glass down, and almost tripped on his words, because he did not feel like handling the last sentence that just left Jaejoong's mouth and all he wanted was to leave the room.

“No no, let me!” the man with black hair objected, taking the tray from Yunho, “You can go take a shower and get ready for today. Do you feel like going out? It seems like a nice day.”

Yunho merely nodded and sprinted out of Jaejoong's bedroom to his own, closing the door carefully and plopping his butt on the mattress.

“What... the... FUCK?!” he silently screamed into his hands, emphasising each word.

So much had happened since Friday night and none of it could fit into place inside his head. He tried his best to understand, but it was absolutely no good to even assay. The sight of his boss bawling his eyes out with blood all over him was playing like a broken record in the back of his mind. Yunho was now aware of the fact that this had been happening for a while. If previously he thought that he was only hearing things, now the chances of the CEO actually talking in a foreign language and crying like a brand new widow at night were at its highest. Yunho could not help it, but recall the time he woke up in the middle of the night only to see the entrepreneur standing in the middle of his room, snuffling soundlessly before he went mad and jumped at his personal assistant, imploring for the man to make the blood disappear. As much as Yunho was curious as to what was wrong with his boss, he was also scared for his own life. Jaejoong obviously was a mental case and if the brunet used to think that he could help out anyone, because he saved Jihu, now he was not so sure about his abilities.

Compared to the raven-haired, his ex-boyfriend was just a lost young soul, who needed some assistance in finding his way in this life. He dropped out of high school and moved to Seoul, leaving his tiny hometown and everyone there behind. Jihu had high hopes to just get by in the capital until he had figured out what he wanted from life. Back in his mind, big city meant tons of activities and lots of people to meet. But the metropolis was not as generous as the teenager had expected. Almost three years had passed, when he became tired of being just a dirty stray in such an enormous city and found his way to Banpo Bridge, because that seemed the only thing with colours at that moment. Fortunately or not, Yunho was passing the bridge while going home and he was quick to jump into the water after the boy, because that was just something Yunho always did. He grabbed people tightly and pulled them out to the surface. He almost never offered a hand verbally; he just took the matter into his own hands.

Jihu wanted to hunt Yunho down and murder him, because he really did not wish to survive. But then the brown-haired brought the poor guy home and the latter was not mad anymore. Seriously, there was no reason to stay malignant. When Yunho stepped into Jihu's life, the young man got a luxurious roof above his head, regular and delicious meals, warm white sheets every night, too. And on top of all those material things, he got an amazing and loving boyfriend right next to him. But along the way something went wrong, because no matter how wonderful Yunho was, the youngster had always been an iniquitous lover and they could have never worked in the end. It was a miracle they had even lasted for those two years.

Yunho now had two memories on repeat in his mind – how he saved Jihu from the river's water and the way he found Jaejoong in the freezing bathtub. Those two crucial moments in his life worked as gates for both Jihu and Jaejoong to step into his life's path. The man was still not sure if he was ready for another tough relationship. The ex-lover was already hard to handle and he was just a selfish person, but the entrepreneur seemed like a crazy person, who needed intense therapy session with world's best psychiatrist, not just Yunho's tender heart.

Through the crack at the bottom of his bedroom door, Yunho could spot Jaejoong ghosting in the hallway. He sighed heavily and stood from the bed. The CEO sounded really excited for the day, when he put a tray of food in front of him, and it tickled the personal assistant's curiosity. He decided to be cautious around his boss, catching each word the other says, because that might give some answers even if Yunho did not feel like hearing them.

With weighty thoughts, he washed up and dressed in a hurry. When Yunho finally opened the door, Jaejoong was leaning on the hallway wall in front of him; his head hung low, foot drawing small invisible lines on the wooden floor. The raven-haired was dressed in black skinny jeans and white shirt. A coat was hanging low on his shoulders, with hands buried deep in the pockets. The CEO looked kind of nervous, but Yunho really had no idea why he would.

“Hope I dressed right,” he said, gaining the other's attention.

Jaejoong looked up at his personal assistant. He slowly eyed him from head to toe. The man was with dark pants and a thick, creamy cotton sweater. The shorter male looked back at the other's face and just nodded slightly.

“Can I ask what we're gonna do?” Yunho questioned when the entrepreneur turned around and headed towards the apartment door.

“We are going to watch a movie,” he answered, opening the front door and waiting for Yunho to put on his coat.

“Isn't it a bit early for movies?” the brown-haired man asked, scrunching his eyebrows a bit.

“Do you not know what time it is?” the CEO looked at Yunho confused.

The brunet did not reply, he just followed the boss out of the apartment. While going to the car, he fished his mobile phone out from the pocket and only then saw that it was already rather late afternoon. Just how long did he sleep? He saw Jaejoong getting into the car and opened the door of passenger's seat for himself.

“I didn't know you can drive, sir,” the words slipped out of Yunho's mouth as he fastened his seat-belt.

“I can, but I just have our personal driver to take us around the city, while I review documents,” Jaejoong replied to the sudden remark while adjusting his own seat.

Yunho looked through his window with only one thought in his mind: “Did he seriously just say 'our driver'? 'Take us?' Why the fuck is he putting it all this way?” The young man just heaved a long silent sigh and leaned into his seat, trying to relax and get all the tainting thoughts out of his head. Light snowflakes were falling from the sky and Yunho wished for them to be bigger and just snow all over him, bury him in the freezing white ocean, so he would not have to be where he was. He soon heard his name rolling from Jaejoong's tongue, followed by other words, indicating that they had arrived.

“What are we going to watch?” Yunho managed to ask, still pondering over what his boss said about twenty minutes ago.

“Old Partner. I hope you have not seen it yet.”

“No, I haven't,” Yunho replied actually shocked.

Jaejoong hid a smile into his scarf, so Yunho would not notice it. The reason for the brunet's bewilderment was quite simple, but he would never know. The taller man was a die-hard movie fan, especially of the ones produced in his mother country. He kept track on every new release, neatly scribbling down into his notebook every movie he had to see and then short comments after he did. “Old Partner” was in the bottom of his list as it was the latest Korean movie he wanted to see. Due to busy schedule it had been hard to do. About a week ago, Jaejoong happened to pick up the notebook with the list, which was carelessly left on the coffee table in living room. Curiosity got the best of him, so he opened the pad and now he was more than happy that he did, because seeing Yunho's surprised and excited facial expression was worth it.

They spent an hour and a half in the movie theater. When both men were back in the car, Jaejoong started the engine and began the conversation; an activity that seemed to start growing on him.

“Did you like the movie?”

“Yes, it was an amazing piece. I've been looking forward to watching this! Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“No need to thank me,” Jaejoong assured, hitting the road, illuminated by evening lights.

“But really, it was a nice movie. And when that old man said 'Although the ox can't talk, it's indeed my dearest partner,' I think it was a really meaningful and powerful phrase,” the other man did not realise he was blabbering, still caught up in what he just saw so much that he did not see that the car was not heading home yet.

Meanwhile, Jaejoong pondered over the quote, skilfully diving through other cars on the night road. He knew better than anyone what a great companion an animal could be. Whether you are stuck in a deadly and hot desert with hordes of sheep or locked up in a dungeon and having only a smudgy, old rat to keep you entertained until it finally bites your toe. Actual talking is required only between two human beings who cannot stand each other's presence. Staying silent is never unbearable when you are with an animal. People have this belief that only dogs can be loyal friends, but Jaejoong knew that they could not be more wrong.

“Why are we at Namsan Tower?” Yunho broke the other man away from his thoughts.

“We should get some food,” the CEO replied as he stopped the car and opened the door for himself.

“Some take-away would've worked,” the other mumbled, leaving the car.

Jaejoong heard the comment, but stayed silent. He just entered the building with Yunho trailing along. He confirmed the reservation before going up. The receptionist eyed both of them a bit suspiciously, but kept her thoughts to herself. The CEO and his employee rode the elevator in silence, until Yunho's stomach growled. Jaejoong giggled silently, covering his mouth with a hand. The man with brown hair seriously had no idea why his stomach had just made a noise, when he did not even feel that hungry. Not knowing what to say, he just let it all pass.

When they arrived to their table, Yunho looked around curiously. The place was virtually empty except for the waiter and some other staff members. He sat down, inhaled the smell of fresh red and white roses placed in the middle of the table, and looked at his boss. The latter was not looking back, though. Instead, the latter smiled at the approaching waiter. He was fast to make his order and then looked at the personal assistant together with the waiter. Yunho bit his bottom lip and looked at the menu, reading aloud the first thing that caught his eye. After the man left, the guy looked around once more, just to make sure if there really were no people.

“Is something wrong?” Jaejoong asked immediately, noticing the other's scurrying gaze.

“No, sir. Everything's fine,” he lied.

Jaejoong carried on with some small talk, offering more wine to Yunho and convincing him that it was okay to sleep in the following day. The lost male could see his boss's lips moving, but only pieces of the words and questions reached his ears. He kept repeating a phrase 'This isn't a date' in his head like a mantra, because really, that was exactly what he was thinking. Last time Yunho was in Namsan Tower, he was twelve or thirteen years old and he was sure that it was not the only time the place was full of people. There was no way in this world that suddenly no one came and he and his boss were the only customers on this late winter evening. Unless someone rich bought the whole restaurant for a night. Someone as rich as Kim Jaejoong. Why were they even there at night? Why did the roses smell so good? Why was the CEO blabbering so much and even smiling occasionally? Why was Yunho feeling so warm when looking at the other man? He blinked rapidly and looked through the giant window.

“Yunho, are you alright? You seem a bit lost today,” Jaejoong said worriedly.

“Huh?” he averted his eyes from the night view outside to the male, “Oh, no... No, I'm fine. This weekend... It was a bit hectic, don't you think, sir? I guess I'm just a bit lost in my thoughts, that's it. But I'm fine, so please don't worry.”

“I would like to make it up to you. How about you take at least three days off? There are no important meetings coming up this week. Let it be a birthday present from me.”

Jaejoong darted his eyes to his now almost empty plate. He did feel a serious amount of guilt for what Yunho had seen that weekend. But what was done, was done. It was all in the past already and if there was anything that he had learnt from millenniums spent on Earth, the past must be let go of. Unless the memories of the past were too nasty; then you needed someone to drag you out of Hell. No excuse existed for what he did in his past lives, but he still felt like clinging onto Yunho and never letting the other go. He was the CEO's anchor, keeping him sane in this critical period.

“The food is really good here. Thank you again, Mr. Kim. And for the gift,” Yunho broke the silence that suddenly fell on them both, finishing his last bite.

Jaejoong just smiled and quickly finished his meal. He wiped his mouth clean and suggested going home now. Yunho agreed, although it was not really a suggestion in the first place. At that moment, he only wished he had not slept so much for he did not feel sleepy at all, but had zero wit about what he was supposed to do until early morning. Luckily or not, Jaejoong had it all figured out.

“Would you like to have more wine before sleep?” he asked, when they got rid of their coats and shoes.

“Sure,” Yunho replied, still contemplating if he chose right. The night had been eventful, what bad could possibly happen?

Neither of the men knew how any of it happened, but already after an hour they found themselves on the couch, last drops of wine waiting in their glasses. Yunho was sprawling with the glass in hand and other arm stretched on the backrest. He was looking down at his lap with a smile on his face, because that was where Jaejoong's head lay.

“And then I decided to just go wherever. Do you want to know where I went?” the CEO asked, looking up at the other man's warm eyes.

“Of course, sir. Tell me everything!” he nodded eagerly, because really, he was dead curious to know how currently youngest Korean billionaire dropped out of school at the age of sixteen and still managed to get where he was now.

“I climbed Mount Everest!” Jaejoong almost shouted from all the excitement, shifting in Yunho's lap so that now he was facing the other's stomach.

“That's really impressive for a sixteen-year-old...” the brunet just said, trying to figure out what part of Jaejoong's story was true, which was hard to do, because alcohol killing his braincells made it hard for the man to even process the fact that he had his boss in his lap.

“Oh, it is nothing. But it was truly an experience. I do not even know how I ended up there. I had nothing to do with my life, so I just strolled around until I saw this huge creation of nature and thought of trying to climb my way up... I cannot even recall how long it took me...” Jaejoong kept on talking, but the other could not hear any of it.

As soon as the raven-haired man's palm landed on Yunho's thigh and started drawing invisible figures there, his breath hitched and he did not dare to even breathe. Only when the man felt blood draining from his face, he gained courage to inhale. But that was not the only thing he did.

“... And then, there I was! All I could see at first were piles of snow, but–”

“Mr. Kim?” Yunho cooed, bending forward to put down his now empty glass of wine, next to Jaejoong's.

The other sat up a bit too quickly, his head dizzy and mouth numb from all the talking and alcohol. He wanted to lean onto his arms, but they failed him, so as soon as he turned around to face Yunho, his head hit the other's shoulder. The man with black hair giggled and immediately apologised. His personal assistant just cupped his face, noticing how the entrepreneur leaned into the touch, and got straight to the point.

“Sir, do you like me?” he asked, his gaze piercing.

“Yes,” Jaejoong breathed out without hesitation, enjoying the warmth of Yunho's palms on his cheeks.

It took nothing more for the younger guy to wrap his one hand around the nape of his boss's neck, press his other arm at his back, and draw the male closer. It was a matter of one brief moment before the personal assistant was pressing against the CEO's lips like his time was about to end. Deepening the kiss, Yunho laid down, dragging Jaejoong forward so that now the other was lying on top of him. The raven-haired was completely lost in the moment and he felt like he could taste the rest of the years of his current life as his lips touched with Yunho's. The magic ended and was imprinted in their minds, when the personal assistant shifted, their legs tangling, and moaned, whispering:

“Oh my... God...”

“What are you doing?” Jaejoong scrunched his eyebrows and broke the kiss.

“What do you mean? You just said you have feelings for me,” the personal assistant looked bewildered, still embracing his boss.

“I-I...” he halted, pushing himself up.

Yunho frowned and kept his boss in place, not even thinking of letting the other go. Jaejoong began squirming in the tight grip and a restless wheeze left his mouth. He was starting to resent of the other's actions. Growling lowly, Jaejoong slapped his personal assistant as hard as he could. The hit echoed through the whole apartment and Yunho needed a few moments to regain focus. When he finally opened his eyes and massaged his sore red cheek, the CEO had already stormed to his bedroom. Just like his boss, the man on the sofa was beyond pissed off. He could not understand why the heck the man would strike him after admitting he liked him. The personal assistant groaned and stood up. Still assiduous as always, he picked up the wine glasses with the bottle and washed them in the kitchen. He then saunted back to his own room and dropped onto the bed, not bothering to wash up and change clothes. Yunho just wished for tomorrow to never come.

But the next morning sun jumped from the horizon like it always did. Jaejoong grumbled in suffering as he woke up. His head was exploding and he thought he was going to die. How could it hurt so much even when the man did not drink a lot, compared to what he was actually capable of devouring? Jaejoong sat up; the pain in his ears was unbearable. He tried to stop it by holding them with his hands, but all that achieved was getting blood on his skin, which he noticed when he retreated the hands and looked at them. Soon white noise spread all around him and Jaejoong's mouth fell open, eyes shut tight. He lamented from the sharp pain and the bustle he needed to stop.

“I haven't checked up on him yet, I'm sure he'll be down at the office in an hour. Stop making a fuss about it, Minseo,” a distant voice broke through the agonising cacophony.  
“Yunho,” the man in bed mumbled and rolled out of it, following the voice. He left his bedroom and went down the hallway, gripping onto his ears again and trying to keep his eyes open.

“I got a vacation for three days, I'm gonna visit my mom,” Yunho spoke again and Jaejoong turned to the living room, “Yeah, he gave it to me as birthday present.”

“Are you serious? He just came up to you and said you can have a holiday?” Minseo asked and Jaejoong stopped in his tracks. Why was his secretary in his penthouse?

“Well, we did actually spend some time together...”

“Oh my God! Really? What did even two of you do?”

“He took me to see a movie and then we went to Namsan Tower for dinner. And when we came back home...” the brunet suddenly fell silent and only then the entrepreneur noticed that the noise was already gone; his personal assistant's soothing voice made it go away.

“Don't tell me you fucked?” the young woman said suspiciously and then exclaimed after Yunho's pause, her scream piercing the whole place, “Yunnie-bear! Finally!”

“No, no, no, we didn't have sex. We just talked and he was so cute and wouldn't stop chattering... I kissed him.”

“How was it?” the secretary couldn't hide her excitement for her best friend.

“He fucking slapped me! He said he likes me and then just bam, next thing I know, my cheek stings like Hell!” Yunho hissed.

Jaejoong gained the courage to peek around the corner and look at the two people. What he saw turned his world upside down. Yunho was curled on the sofa, one hand gripping his hair out of frustration, the other keeping the mobile phone pressed to his ear. The secretary was not in the living room next to the personal assistant, but on the other side of phone line. Yunho himself was speaking in a whisper. Jaejoong's brain froze in realisation and he unconsciously pressed his fingers to his lips. Was it all because they kissed last night? He shot daggers at his employee's back with his eyes, confusion and astonishment plastered on his face. Was his superior sense of hearing really back?


	7. 14 February 2009

Not even a week had passed since Yunho merged his lips together with his boss's, unintentionally bringing back the other's exceptional hearing, and Jaejoong had been contemplating literally everything since then. Bloody night terrors were still after the man, but he tried his best to suppress the stinging pain and hold in the pleas that were daring to slip off his tongue. Once the dark took over the sky, Jaejoong's knuckles would turn white as the ceramic beneath his palms and he was sure that if it were not for his super strength being gone, the sink would have to be replaced each day.

The guy was ironically lucky for the first three days of the present week, when his personal assistant took a wing from the penthouse, so he could use the given three-day holiday for good and visit his mother in Uljin. Jaejoong's luck was evident when he could scream at the top of his lungs and not fear for the personal assistant to see him in that miserable state again. He wished for the previous weekend to never happen again. But more than that, he wished that Yunho had not witnessed it all, although he knew it was too late and the horrific scenes of the CEO were forever imprinted in the man's memory.

Everything was so complex, the entrepreneur himself was not sure how it all worked anymore. Having the memories of terrible lives he had lead come back so soon was already making him go insane. But the man was completely overwhelmed with his returned hearing. Of course, it was unbearable and extremely tough to re-learn to control the power. First four days he woke up to sounds of cars and people's chatters down in the street as if all the action took place right there in his bedroom. Working in the office seemed impossible; the irritating buzz of phones, thuds of papers being thrown everywhere, and noise coming from workers' mouths spinning all around him. Even when it was lunch break and everybody left their desks to grab something at the cafeteria on the first floor, Jaejoong could hear how the soft carpet would crunch under their feet or how the elevator would open twenty storeys below. With great effort, he managed to tone the unpleasant sounds down and by the end of first week it was tolerable.

But still, even with some control, he was more puzzled than excited. There was quite a lot of stuff he could not stop pondering over. Like, why was this power back? Because he kissed Yunho? Sitting on the couch in the dark living room on a lazy Saturday evening, Jaejoong drew his fingers to his mouth, touching it lightly. He could still remember very vividly how the man's chapped lips felt on his, but the kiss itself was so mushy and when their tongues danced Jaejoong just melted, his body turning frail in the other man's embrace. He did not pay attention to the fact that kissing another male felt so good (through millenniums he had done most probably anything imaginable). But it did scare him a lot, when he realised that his heart beat increased during the kiss not just because of chemical reactions in his brain that were inevitable for a human body, but because there was something more to it.

Jaejoong was not sure if he had ever felt like that before. And for someone who had been in all kinds of relationship with thousands of people, to feel something new was terrifying. The poor guy was not sure what was frightening him more, the foreign warm feeling whenever he thought of Yunho or the fact that his personal assistant brought his ability to hear anything anywhere with one kiss. He could still recall how miserable he felt, when he could not hear anything he wanted anymore. He had already been losing his powers and superior hearing was the only thing he got left that separated him from the rest of humanity. He still had no idea why it happened, why he became just a weakling, just a mere human. He loved the sensation of power and superiority. Whenever he used one of his gifts, he could feel it in his blood, radiating through his veins. He could never get rid of that wonderful feeling of being one step ahead of everyone else and he had no intention of ever letting it go. But when nearly two thousand years ago he was born into a Roman family and his destiny was to become an emperor, he suddenly could not hear as he did before. At first, he thought he was deaf completely, but as time went on and he could hear muffled voices, he figured out that the only problem with his hearing was just it being... normal.

When he became the ruler of that day's Roman Empire at the age of seventeen and had all the rights to do whatever he wanted with the country and its people, he lashed out at everyone. The teenager was just so damn enraged. Killing his own mother and half of his lovers, kicking his most beloved wife until she lost their baby was not enough. The tyrant burnt his precious Rome and went after all Christians. Everyday he would wake up with hatred in his heart and lay to sleep in the same condition.

Jaejoong took a deep breath, almost choking on his saliva and the air stuck in his throat. He sunk deeper into the cushions and closed his eyes. With another deep inhale, the smell of something burning snuck up his nose. The stink was already familiar to him, so he did not even bother to check if nothing was burning in the apartment. He just remained laying there and tried his best to divert his thoughts elsewhere. But when the couch sank lightly and Jaejoong felt someone's presence right next to him, his eyes opened in mere mili-seconds.

“S-Sabina?” he chocked out, staring at the young woman leaning closer to him.

The lady from the past just smiled, showing her teeth, and let out a small chuckle. She looked nowhere else but at the man's face, while the other let his eyes wonder around the woman's body, taking in the slim figure under her linen stola. Her breasts looked really small, as if there were not any at all and her hands looked more masculine than not.

“Sabina? Is that really you?” he whispered, cupping the woman's cheek gently, his heartbeat rising instantly, as he could actually feel the skin in his palm, “How?”

“My emperor,” the person finally spoke in a gruff voice, with light huskiness in it.

“Sporus,” Jaejoong's eyes widened in realisation and he looked at the boy toy with condolence that he never felt back in their time.

“I shall free your from the suffering, my emperor,” the feminine boy spoke.

He took the entrepreneur's hand and removed it from his cheek, shifting his own body to settle in other's lap, straddling the man under him. He put the raven-haired man's hands on his girly hips and buried his face in the older man's neck, planting lazy and sloppy kisses there. With his own crotch, Jaejoong could feel emptiness where the boy's genitals were supposed to be and he shivered, remembering what he had done to him a couple of thousands years ago. He tried to push the teenager away, but the other would not even budge.

“Sporus, stop it,” the man muttered, frowning hard.

When that did not work, the guy used all his strength to get the young boy away from him, gritting his teeth and struggling for a few moments. Sporus remained on top of the other man, his kisses turning into light nibbles first, then soon it became harsh and dire bites. Sharp teeth sank into Jaejoong's skin between neck and collarbone, making him yell and finally put all the effort in rolling the young boy away. When Jaejoong succeeded in freeing himself from Sporus, it was hard to say which man had more anger in his eyes.

“Sporus?” Jaejoong asked carefully; he was seriously fearful for he had never before been able to touch a person in his hallucinations.

As the boy's breathing became heavier and faster, his eyes turned completely black and his skin was slowly covered in things Jaejoong was not able to define at first. The skin of Sporus's forearms looked like it was made from dark wood, the upper arms' once olive skin now were like chapped rocks, small bloody feathers surfaced on his cheekbones, and eyebrows turned into lines of garish fish scales.

Jaejoong's eyes widened more and more with each second and he lost his mind, when Sporus attacked him. He growled lowly and then hissed, grabbing the man by his neck, blood trickling out as long stiff nails grazed the skin. The raven-haired man grabbed the creature's hands and tried to pry them away, choking out incoherent pleads. But it seemed Sporus turned a deaf ear on the man in his grip, and Jaejoong managed to let the only word that came to his mind slip through his lips:

“Yunho!”

It sounded more like a squeal, but the deplorable shout was enough for Sporus to stop squeezing Jaejoong's throat. His muscles stiffened and the scared man watched boy's body change back to normal. When lastly the blackness was gone from Sporus's childish eyes, he himself disappeared, too. The entrepreneur coughed hard, trying to grasp what had just happened. One minute a ghost from the past was choking him to death, then, as soon as his personal assistant's name rolled out of his mouth, it just vanished into thin air.

Jaejoong rolled on the sofa in pain as the skin where the evil spirit's teeth dug previously began to ache. He managed to stand up and reach the bathroom with Yunho still on his mind. The CEO was absolutely clueless of how the simple thought of his personal assistant could shoo the haunting memories away. With an already confused mind, he looked at his reflection in the new mirror, not seeing anything weird at the spot where it ached. He grunted out of frustration, his brain failing to process anything anymore. The man ruffled his hair and went to his bedroom, laying on the bed and checking the time in the clock on the bed-side table. It was almost midnight and Yunho still had not come back home.

Sure, Jaejoong was in no position to worry about the other man. After creating quite a fiasco last Sunday night, the two did not interact much. First of all, Yunho was gone for three long days, but when the man came back, he was not in the mood to talk. He did catch the CEO glancing at him a number of times on Thursday and Friday, but did not respond to it. Plus, the boss seemed to be occupied with whatever thoughts he had running in his messed up head for he looked fazed and starry-eyed even with documents in front of his eyes on the desk or while conversing with business partners on the phone.

The entrepreneur wanted to speak to Yunho, he just did not know how to say it all. 'I am not human? Sorry to blow up your religion, but the God you believe in is not real? I think I might like you and I am scared? My memories that haunt me are from the time I was Nero and Adolf Hitler? Your eyes remind me of Alexander the Great and I know how his eyes looked, because I was his lover Roxana? Although your eyes are actually prettier, they are so warm? Please forgive me for slapping you? Your lips are so soft? My mind is so full of you? Yunho, I like you?' Jaejoong himself scoffed at those phrases, tickling the tip of his tongue and threatening to slip out of his mouth any time.

Not to embarrass himself, the raven-haired stayed in his room for the most part of the last three days. It was not like he needed to see Yunho in order to know what the other was doing. He did wish though for the ability to read the man's thoughts. His personal assistant, who usually tended to speak with himself aloud, was rather quiet since the fatal kiss. It indicated to Jaejoong that he was not the only one rethinking his life choices in the penthouse. But by the end of the sixth day of silence, he regained courage to try talking with the other male. Unfortunately, as he put his hand on his bedroom's doorknob, the sound of the brunet's bathroom door being locked echoed in Jaejoong's ears and he sighed. He thought of retreating, but something kicked inside of him and he resolved to open his door and go wait in the employee's room. The personal assistant was quick to finish his shower and dress up.

“Oh, Mr. Kim. I didn't see you there,” was the only thing Yunho muttered apologetically when he almost hit his boss by opening the door forcefully.

Jaejoong smiled before opening his mouth, but something was stuck in his throat and he could not produce any sound. He felt so nervous and Yunho looking so damn gorgeous with black jeans hugging his legs perfectly and that maroon dress shirt highlighting his toned arms did not help the guy to overcome his anxious state. Not getting any kind of response from his boss, Yunho was fast to go down the hallway, hop into his shoes, grab his coat, and leave. The CEO was entirely dumbfounded. He could not understand why he would be so bewildered just by the sheer sight of his personal assistant. The man mentally slapped himself and went to the living room. Plopping onto the couch in the dark, he was determined to wait for Yunho and talk to the man, when he returned. Afterall, he was who he was and his existence could never fit into definition of mere human being. But he soon dozed off and met with Sporus. If Yunho had the power to reach Jaejoong in his darkest moments and pull him up, he had the skill to hurt the other man deeply, too. Luckily or not, the CEO got to learn both of those things in the same night.

The man with black hair was still sitting on the bed in his room, his hands on his knees, supporting his heavy head. Sporus had put up a show about twenty minutes ago and Jaejoong could not stop thinking about how calling out Yunho's name made a ghost disappear. He snapped back from his hive of speculations, when he heard his personal assistant stepping into the building and pressing the button of the elevator to go up. Jaejoong smiled and rose from the bed, he was still determined to speak with the other man. However, he stopped before he could leave his room, because he suddenly heard a second person's breathing when Yunho put up his card to unlock the apartment door.  
“Wow, even the door here looks fancy,” a drunken comment in a foreign manly voice reached Jaejoong's ears.

“Yeah, my boss is probably inside, so we should be quiet,” Yunho just said, opening the door and pushing the stranger inside.

“I can't believe you live with your boss...”

“I don't care. I'm not gonna spend Valentine's Day inside and you said we can't go to your place.”

It took a few moments for the wasted men to make it to Yunho's bedroom, stopping once in a while in the hallway to share hungry kisses. Jaejoong's heart pounded more rapidly with each second and he wished he was completely deaf. Yes, he was able to tone down the sounds, but at that moment he could not find the strength to do so, because it was... it was Yunho. So he listened; embracing his knees on the bed and letting the tears escape from his eyes, he listened to every single slap of skin, every hum, groan, and moan... oh how sensual did the brunet's moans sound!

Jaejoong caught himself imagining that it was not the nameless man underneath Yunho, but him. He saw himself being bent in half by his personal assistant and having the other man pound into him mercilessly. But in the end it made him weep even more and Jaejoong just cried himself to sleep, not hearing Yunho's one night stand leave early in the morning. But when he met his employee in the hallway, he could not contain himself from throwing a snarky remark:

“Someone had fun last night.”

“Sorry about that, sir. I won't be that loud next time,” Yunho just replied, ignoring the sarcastic tone.

“Where are you going?” Jaejoong asked, when the guy slid into his coat.

“Well, it's Sunday morning. I'm going to the church as always, Mr. Kim.

With that, the younger male left and Jaejoong was left dumbfounded again, his heart skipping some beats.

Jaejoong had a heartworm he did not know he had, but his heart was already worming its way inside.

Kim Jaejoong really liked Jung Yunho, but now the personal assistant's fondness of his boss was in question.


	8. 14 April 2009

Two months ago, Yunho told his boss that he would not be loud when he brings someone to get laid, but even if he and his partners did keep the promise, it would have meant nothing for the CEO could hear it all. Every lick, suck, gasp, moan and thrust of Yunho's hips into someone else echoed in Jaejoong's ears. Once or twice a week, the personal assistant would bring some new stranger, man or a woman, to the apartment, trying to be subtle and secretive until the couple would reach his bedroom. First four times Jaejoong would cry himself to sleep, trying to block out Yunho's moans. But then, he was just mad. How dare Yunho bring someone to fuck to a place that was not even his? How dare he be so offensive and discard his boss's request to keep the sounds to the minimum? How dare he ignore the CEO? How dare he be so handsome and shag anyone but Jaejoong?

So after drowning in countless stacks of documents and boring meetings for only two days, Jaejoong took the matter into his own hands. And just maybe he did not want to hear Yunho's skin slapping against another human's hot skin in a few hours or maybe he was just too damn horny and tired of work to think straight even though it was only Tuesday, but as soon as Yunho followed his boss into the dark apartment and closed the door, the raven-haired man found himself shoving the other against the wall.

“S-sir?” Yunho stuttered, his tired eyes now fully opened as his back hit the wall with a loud thud.

“No talking,” Jaejoong just commanded before trapping Yunho between the cold wall and his palms, pressed against the other's chest.

Without any further thought, not allowing himself to gaze at his personal assistant for too long, the CEO closed the small distance between them. Jaejoong kissed him as if there was no tomorrow, as if the world was doomed to end soon and he had to claim the man before the apocalypse so they could find each other easily in Heaven. Even though at first it was just a harsh clash of two lips, Jaejoong pressed onto them like he was determined to mark Yunho, to imprint on him, and the other could feel it all. The need radiating from his boss awoke the already buried desires that were born the first time Yunho laid eyes on the CEO, but put aside after a few months. His body finally started to react and he inhaled through his nose, only then realising that he was out of breath. The taller man's hands left his sides to touch the other, but Jaejoong blocked it with one swift move. Yunho had no idea what clicked in his mind, but the more Jaejoong took control, the more he craved for power and at that moment he had to feel the shorter man's skin under his palms no matter what. So he tried again, his moves reckless and desperate, but Jaejoong just grabbed his personal assistant by his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Yunho did not know how everything happened, but soon he found himself in his bedroom, both Jaejoong and his jackets and shoes long forgotten on the hallway floor. With rapid movements, Jaejoong pushed Yunho onto the bed, earning a loud yelp from another. Before the brown-haired man's back could actually hit the soft mattress, Jaejoong undid his dress shirt, a few buttons probably coming off from the force. The street lights were barely illuminating the place, so Yunho could not even properly see Jaejoong's face nor what was happening. But he was sure that if he saw his boss's face, only pure lust would be written all over it. Yunho drew his hands closer to unbutton his own shirt, but Jaejoong slapped them away and did everything himself. In a few moments Yunho was left without any clothes and Jaejoong was already tugging his underwear down.

Jaejoong wasted no time for proper foreplay. He had to feel the other man inside him, to prove that he was the only one the man needed. He tossed Yunho's boxers on top of other clothes and leant down, placing quick butterfly kisses on Yunho's inner thighs and caressing the underside with his warm hands. Jaejoong's mouth was burning the other male's skin and causing the muscles under it to tense each time, already leaving the young man panting hard, and in that moment he was not sure anymore if he really was not just having a wet dream with his boss. When Yunho felt strong fingers hauling his hardening dick, he was back to the weird reality. Jaejoong gave a quick glance to his personal assistant's rather average length and promptly took half of it into his mouth. Yunho attempted to grip the CEO's hair, but his hands were fetched down again and he ended up grabbing onto the sheets, silent oh-my-gods pouring from his mouth.

The raven-haired man pulled back until his lips were bouffant around the tip and surged back down. His cheeks flushed with bright pink as he continued the same motion, picking up the pace. As Jaejoong went faster, Yunho could not hold himself anymore and he bucked his hips upwards, shamelessly moaning. He could feel warmth rising in the bottom of his stomach. Jaejoong's gag reflex soon kicked in and he pressed onto Yunho's hips harshly to keep him down. The bitter taste of Yunho's precum slid down the other's throat and he pulled off, swirling his tongue all around the crown. Before the laying man could realize that his now wet dick was not in the CEO's mouth anymore, Jaejoong was already climbing up Yunho's body leaving haste kisses on his toned stomach, then chest until he reached Yunho's neck. Sucking on the other's jawline, Jaejoong finally worked the zip of his trousers and got rid of the rest of his attire. He then straddled Yunho, who's mind was already dazed, locking the other's legs in between his thighs, and spit on his fingers before reaching between his legs. With one hand on Yunho's stomach for support, Jaejoong pushed a finger inside himself, scrunching his eyebrows at the intrusion. When soon the second finger was inside Jaejoong and he moaned loudly, Yunho could not take the sight in front of him. He sat up, wrapping his arms around his boss's bare back and planted wet kisses all over his chest and neck. Jaejoong was too lost to retain control as he pushed the third finger inside.

“Lay down,” the raven-haired demanded, pushing Yunho's chest.

As Yunho's mouth disconnected from the other's body, he finally came to his senses. The fact that he was about to have sex with his boss was surreal. Yunho had wanted to do that ever since he had laid his eyes on the CEO, but as he got slapped and the raven-haired obviously did not have the guts to talk to his personal assistant about the incident, Yunho's desire died down, too. Instead of seeking out for his boss, he just brought all those strangers for a simple hook up. The moment Jaejoong shoved Yunho against the wall, the taller man actually got excited at first. But now, regaining a clearer state of mind, he had no intention to do as his boss said. Jaejoong had no right to use his personal assistant as he wished, when it came down to things outside work. Yunho had decided that if they were going to have sex, they both have to want it. So even with Jaejoong's hands pushing him down, Yunho remained in his place, gazing at the CEO's eyes. Feeling the resistance, the other knotted his eyebrows together, fury rising in his eyes. Jaejoong repeated himself, hitting Yunho's chest with more strength, earning a loud yelp from another, as he fell back. The personal assistant started wriggling around, but Jaejoong clenched the other's waist with his thighs tighter. The man on top could feel Yunho's dick against his ass and the overwhelming sensation of what was about to happen made his own cock twitch. He reached down between his legs before spitting on his hand again, wrapping the hand around Yunho's thick length and guiding it up to his hole.

The air around two men seemed to tense as Jaejoong sank down on Yunho's length slowly. The raven-haired groaned loudly and Yunho stopped moving around at that, he could feel the other's voice cutting into his whole being. The shorter male did not waste too much time to adjust, so he began sliding up, then quickly down again, looking for the right pace. Yunho was trying to take in the feel of warm tightness around his dick, but he could also see the pain plastered on his boss's face. His curse of feeling sympathy for those in all kinds of pain kicked in and he felt the need to soothe the other man, so his hands began to wander over Jaejoong's thighs, lower back, and all the way to the shoulders. His fingers lingered on every inch of Jaejoong's exposed skin, but he was not even sure if the other could feel it, since he looked so occupied with picking up the pace. Yunho forgot how just moments ago he did not want to do any of this and now he just could not move his eyes from Jaejoong's slightly toned body, catching the way his muscles would ripple as he rolled his hips.

It did not take long for Jaejoong to reach his high, coming all over Yunho's stomach without even being properly touched. It had been a couple years since he had had sex and it had been more than a couple of hundred of years since the last time he lay in one bed with a man. He had forgotten how good it felt to have a cock up in one's ass, so he could not hide a smile as his whole body tensed and then quivered on top of Yunho. The other could not go any longer, feeling the stickiness on his pelvis and watching Jaejoong going into pure ecstasy. The raven-haired man's ass clenched down on Yunho and the latter shuddered as he came inside. Jaejoong rose to pull Yunho's dick out of his hole, but he just looked at the other in confusion.

“I guess it's you being so hot right now, Mr. Kim,” the laying man whispered, a tint of red sneaking up his cheeks.

Jaejoong could have left the other man with his still erect penis right there, but something did not let him just leave and he had no clue what it was. Without giving it too much thought, he changed the position, turning around and sank back onto Yunho's cock, starting to bounce immediately with his hands gripping onto other male's thighs for support. Yunho let out a long and loud moan at the reverted contact and grabbed the CEO's hips, probably bruising them. He began to buck up his hips, meeting Jaejoong's movements in the midway. He hit the other male's prostate, making his dick become erect again. The shorter man moaned shamelessly, the continuous thrusts into his prostate making him feel better than the first time. Sensing Yunho's semen filling him up for the second time, Jaejoong closed his eyes and threw his head back. He fell on Yunho's chest, letting the other man ride out his orgasm. Finally having control, Yunho felt excited, so he held the black-haired man in his tight grip, rolling them over, so now he would be on top. He started thrusting again, this time mercilessly, stroking Jaejoong at the same pace.

“A-are you still h-hard?” Jaejoong just stuttered with his cheek pressed against the pillow and then muttered after earning only a grunt from Yunho,“How c-come you n-never go for so l-long with o-others...”

“It's gotta be you,” the man on top moaned.

Holding one of Jaejoong's legs in the air, Yunho found a new angle to pound into his boss with full force. He now was abusing the other man's prostate constantly and got him mewling non-stop. Jaejoong came for the second time, staining Yunho's hand and sheets. With moments passing by quickly, Yunho could not get rid of amazing feeling of dominating Jaejoong and his own possessiveness grew. He wrapped his other hand around the back of Jaejoong's neck, squeezing it tightly and left harsh kisses on the man's spine as he came inside for the third and the last time that night. Groaning lowly, Yunho pulled out. He watched as his semen dribbled out rather profanely from the other man's stretched hole. Jaejoong was suspiciously silent, only his back heaving up and down. Yunho rolled the man over just so see him with eyes shut and lips slightly parted, saliva escaping the mouth.

Yunho chuckled, bringing a sweaty hand to his mouth to suppress the sound, threatening to slip out. The CEO looked really innocent when he was asleep, even with his hair completely dishelved, sticking to the sweaty forehead. Having to gather some strength to stop staring at his passed out boss, Yunho sighed and finally stood up from the bed. He went to his bathroom to clean himself and soon came back with a towel to do the same to the raven-haired on the bed. The taller man noticed how the other's body would shiver from the wet towel's touch and he could see some bruises already forming on his back and sides. Yunho cursed under his breath, bringing the towel back to the bathroom and dropping it into the dirty laundry box. Quickly returning to Jaejoong, he took the sleepy man into his arms and brought him to his own bed, laying him down gently and pulling a sheets over his frame. Yunho looked at the CEO over his shoulder once before leaving and retreating once again back to his room. He plopped his butt on his bed after changing the smeared sheets. He had been exhausted before even entering the apartment, two first days of the week were hard for both the CEO and his personal assistant and he should have been dead tired after unexpected sex session with the other man, but he just could not close his eyes and bring himself to sleep.

The man with brown hair tried really hard to understand his boss. He could still recall quite vividly the moment he entered the fancy modern office and first laid his eyes on his new employer. Well, it was not exactly the first time, Yunho had seen the popular CEO in some magazines before, but he did not spend too much time looking at those pages for he was living a pretty happy and carefree life, with his boyfriend Jihu and stable job. Before, of course, he quit it all and sought for something else. Yunho leaned into his pillow with the sight of his boss behind his closed eyes. Ah, the way black office attire revealed Jaejoong's figure was mesmerising. And his super black hair, styled back to reveal the man's forehead... the hair that reminded Yunho of raven's feathers; he would had given anything to run a hand through it at least once.

Coming to work was tough, when Yunho knew that he was going to spend half of it or even more by the handsome man's side. However, it became harder, when Jaejoong asked his personal assistant to move in with him. Yunho's confusion was overshone by his excitement. Living with a person and spending twenty-four hours under one roof meant bonding time and possibly some hot session in bed, which Yunho really really desired. But living with Kim Jaejoong brought complete opposite. Yunho soon picked up on his boss's strange behaviour, the whispers and the screams in the middle of the night, the dark bags under his eyes in the early morning, the sudden abruption from the rest of the world. The personal assistant could still remember asking the secretary and his best friend Minseo about it. But the young woman just starred at him like he was crazy, saying that she had no idea what the other was talking about. Kim Jaejoong was always rigorous, too occupied with his business plans and meetings. Of course he would seem a little frustrated and exhausted at some times.

So Yunho brushed it all off until his birthday came when everything changed. Finding his boss nearly in his death-bed shook the personal assistant greatly. Having to rock the executive to sleep after seeing him in the pool of blood scared the employee immensely. But spending an evening that looked more like a date than a calm birthday celebration left him astonished. Of course, not until he got slapped hard after the first kiss. Jaejoong put Yunho through too many different emotions in a super short time and the brown-haired man had no intention to carry on. He enjoyed his new job, but the emotional rollercoaster was unbearable for him. So he did what came to his mind first. It started with a wish not to spend Valentine's Day alone. The people that he brought home for sex after that quickly became just a habit, that he could not get rid of. Was he trying to bury something else inside by doing something so reckless? Yunho had no idea and he did not really ponder over it too much.

Yunho let all these thoughts invade his head for the first time and did not catch the sun rising up from the horizon. When he finally realised it was already morning, the man groaned and rose from the bed. He quickly washed up and dressed for work, then moved to the room next to his. He stopped in front of the door, sinking his teeth into the bottom lip before knocking on the door. Hesitantly, he pushed it open and peeked into the room. Jaejoong was already sitting up in his bed, with eyes locked on the wall but obviously gazing somewhere beyond it.

“Mr. Kim, it's already 7 AM. Time to get ready for work,” Yunho said, trying to keep his tone nonchalant.

The man on the bed just nodded and Yunho left immediately. An hour later, both men arrived at the office, secretary Lee greeting them at her desk. Her eyes lingered on the CEO and she turned to the personal assistant as soon as their boss closed the door of his office.

“Oh my God, what's wrong with Mr. Kim? Did he take a beating or something last night? He limped all the way across the hallway. And was that a bruise on his nape or am I seeing things?”

“Oh Minseo, don't talk so loudly. I need a coffee first. Super strong one,” Yunho just grunted, massaging his temples.

“Well you look like shit, too. Did you not sleep last night?” the woman went on, “Oh no... Don't tell me you finally got into our boss's bed?” she continued after putting the pieces together quickly.

“Well, it's more like he got into my bed,” Yunho just muttered, before Minseo hit his arm.

“Yunnie-bear! That's awesome!” the lady squealed, seemingly more excited than her friend.

Meanwhile, in his own office, Jaejoong let out a rather painful groan at the conversation his employees were having. He plopped down into the chair, regretting it instantly as his lower back began to ache. The CEO winced and turned the chair so he could face the window. He was still sleepy and could not really focus on anything, so he brought his hands up to rub his eyes. Just as he regretted sitting down those few moments earlier, he regretted kneading his eyes as soon as he did so. His eyelids began to burn and he could feel them becoming swollen under the touch of his fingers. Jaejoong tried to blink, but his eyes would not open and it felt as if they were tightly glued. The man was losing his mind, having no idea what to do. He drew his legs up onto the chair and began hitting his head.

“Mr. Kim, I'm here with your agen–” Yunho entered the office, but had to pause midstep, “Sir, what's wrong?”

Jaejoong did not answer the personal assistant, but the voice of other helped him to finally open his eyes. However, when he did so, all he could see was complete darkness. His heart began to race like crazy and he fell off of the chair, whispering “no, oh no” under his breath. Yunho threw his tablet onto the desk and ran to his boss. He tried to talk with the man, but the CEO just started shaking and crying uncontrollably.

“Sir, please look at me,” the brown-haired said, cupping the other's face and trying to catch his scurrying eyes; he looked so pathetically scared that Yunho was dying to protect him, "I'm here for you."

Jaejoong followed his personal assistant's voice and tried to see beyond the darkness. Suddenly, his eyeballs started to tickle and became warm. Blurry pixels changed the total darkness and slowly turned into clear image. Yunho's face was in front of Jaejoong's eyes and he blinked a few times, trying to get accustomed to the new shades of colours. His expression was confused, but when he looked at his worker more attentively, his whole body tensed and his eyes dared to fall out of their sockets. He could see Yunho's face like it was placed under a microscope and counting the cells of his eyes was easy. Superior eyesight... it was back.


	9. 31 July 2009

After the fortuitous sex and Jaejoong's returned sensitive eyesight, time flew by fast. Yunho was completely weirded out by his boss's behaviour. He could not understand why the man had literally came to him and dragged him to bed so suddenly. It was totally out of blue and, no matter how great the sex was, the CEO's actions were unfathomable for the personal assistant. The brunet was left even more dumbfounded when the morning after he came to the office simply to introduce that day's agenda but instead of that, he found his boss wriggling in his chair and rubbing his eyes non-stop. When, after some struggle, Jaejoong opened his eyes and looked up, the sight confused the other for Jaejoong's eyes looked the same, but something in his gaze made it seem like he had been blind all his life and was seeing the world for the first time.

Although a little bit more than three months had passed, Yunho could still remember very clearly how lost his boss looked back in the middle of spring. Jaejoong's eyes would wander all the time, making him look paranoid. At first, Yunho even began thinking that his boss might have committed some felony and now was being cautious of everything. But when no cops or other suspicious people showed up at the office, that ridiculous thought left his head. He then noticed how not only the CEO's eyes would scurry around, but how he would also lose touch with reality from time to time. Drifting off to God knows where even during his own speech in important business meetings and conferences, Jaejoong scared the personal assistant out of his wits. He just could not understand how Kim Jaejoong, the well-known businessman with an impressive career at such young age, could be so careless in front of others.

But no matter how worried Yunho was, he could not express his anxiety. The entrepreneur seemed too engrossed in whatever contemplations he was going through and the personal assistant did not dare to disturb any of it. Maybe another reason for such decision was that Yunho had learned his lesson; he believed in the words: ask no questions and you will not get any lies. He knew that at times it was better not to intervene. And so, he was convinced that if Jaejoong wanted, he would come to Yunho and open up without any great encouragement, just like he started talking about his memories on the brunet's birthday. So he just waited patiently for the moment when he could find out the truth behind that night and those wandering eyes. He tarried and tarried for the right moment and before he knew it, it was already the last Friday of July. Like nearly every other late night, he found himself in bed, struggling to fall asleep.

The clock hit 02:57 and Yunho rose from bed, yawning lazily. He felt thirsty, so he headed towards the kitchen for a glass of water, passing through the empty and dark hallway and then the living room. He turned on the lights, squinting at the brightness at first. The man rubbed his eyes, putting his feet one after another. He poured cold water into the glass before it would reach its top and lifted it to his mouth. But before he could actually drink the liquid, a familiar voice reached his ears.

“So this is where you live now?” words were said in a humming and surprised tone.

All sleepiness left Yunho's body immediately and he froze. His fingers curled around the glass tightly and he put it on the counter top, before it could slip from his hand and crash. In a split second, he turned around and shot daggers at the speaker. The intruder, who had been sitting on the bar chair, jumped from it and with a sly smile quickly approached the man.

“What the...” Yunho muttered, then shook his head, “What the fuck are you doing here? How did you even get in?!”

“I always find my way in and you know that,” the guy ran a hand through his red hair.

Well, Yunho could not argue with that. The man standing in front of him did know ways to get what he wanted. He wondered if living on the streets for some time had its perks, like learning certain skills, hard to forget even after two years spent in luxury.

“Jihu–” the brown-haired breathed out as his ex-lover snuck even closer him, but the other male pressed his index finger on Yunho's lips so that he could not say more and slowly started speaking.

“I came to get you back. And that required more than I expected, you know...” Jihu giggled, his chuckle echoing throughout the room, “I had no idea you would quit your job and even move to a different place,” at that, he removed his finger and Yunho opened his mouth, but the redhead continued, “Come on, baby. We both know you've missed me.”

He pressed Yunho against the counter and cupped his clothed crotch, giving it a light squeeze with his delicate fingers. The brunet struggled to get away from the man's grip. The youngster grabbed the other's wrists, pinning them to the edge of the sink and pressed his lips on the other's, leaving no space in between two bodies. Yunho tried to wriggle and break free, but it was impossible due to Jihu's much taller and fitter form.

“Yunho?” a new hoarse voice snapped both guys back to reality.

“Is this your new toy, baby?” Jihu questioned his ex-boyfriend, throwing a quick glance at the man in the entrance and then returning his gaze to the one somewhat under him, “Should we put up a little show for him?”

Before Yunho knew it, the same lips were back on his, this time teeth daring to nibble on his bottom lip harshly. The shorter male mewled desperately and tried to wriggle away but again to no avail. He leant back more, if it even was possible. With his butt pressed against the sink, upper body trapped in the other man's embrace, and his head kept intact by the other's strong hand, there was nothing the brunet could do to put an end to the horrible situation. As Jihu's tongue licked his lips, the only thing he could do was just concentrate on his own heartbeat ringing in his ears and hope for the entrepreneur to do something, if he was even still there.

“Please get out of my penthouse,” Jaejoong's calm tone reached the other men's ears.

“Excuse me? Your penthouse?” Jihu shrank away from the personal assistant immediately and turned to the other male, “Isn't this my Yunho's place?”

Jaejoong squinted at the man, irritation flaming up in his stomach. He did not like the stranger. He was not amused by his bright red hair nor by the fact that he still had his hands on Yunho and just called the man his. Meanwhile, the brown-haired guy used the opportunity and pushed the intruder away, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and fixed his noxious gaze on Jihu. The other looked rather puzzled and kept averting his eyes from Yunho to Jaejoong and vice versa. He was so sure he did good research. He knew his ex-lover got a new job at “Kim&Co,” owned by Kim Jaejoong. Also he was aware of the fact that shortly after getting the new position as the CEO's personal assistant, he moved in into a much bigger and more luxurious place. Staring at the raven-haired at the kitchen's entrance, Jihu suddenly connected the pieces of information he was already familiar with.

“Wait, now that I think about it, you look awfully familiar,” the readhead spoke up, pointing at the other with his index finger, “Aren't you Kim Jaejoong? Wow, you look different in the media!”

“Jihu,” the brunet cut off the man, “I don't know how and why did you get in, but please just leave and never come back.”

“Wait wait wait! So you're living with your boss?” he ignored the request and went on, “What the heck? Don't tell me you two fuck each other, too... Yunho, you're mine!”

With that said, Jihu looked his ex-lover in the eyes with despair, suddenly flinging at him. Yunho yelped and hit the sink with his back again. The red-haired youngster was clinging on his T-shirt, but did not dare to say more. Something in his eyes changed, but shorter man could not read them. He turned his head and saw his boss still standing in the same spot. Jaejoong observed the two people carefully. He could sense the anxiety from the way Yunho's muscles tensed. The sound of the man's increased heart-rate rang in his ears.

“Look at me, you motherfucker!” Jihu shrieked, clenching his jaw and raising his hand to slap Yunho.

But before he could do that, the young man felt a strong pull on his hair and stumbled backwards. With one swift move, he was turned around and had to face the real owner of the place. Jaejoong let go of the red strands of hair, but quickly locked Jihu's throat in his other hand.

“W-what are y-you doing?!” the unfortunate gasped, trying to oust the hand strangling him, “L-let go of m-me!”

“I kindly asked you to leave, but you chose not to listen,” Jaejoong said, his hold on the guy getting stronger.

The raven-haired was not fully aware of what was happening. He was driven by determination to make this person, who was troublesome for Yunho, suffer. Jaejoong clenched his jaw, feeling a tingling sensation in his muscles. He thought it might just be from the strain he was so randomly putting on his body for he did not work out very often. The entrepreneur felt the new sensation of power overflowing his body. And he liked it; it suddenly excited him to the point he was about to lose his mind. He loved holding someone's life in his hands and having the ability to crush it in mere seconds without much effort.

“Mr. Kim,” Yunho whispered, when Jihu dangerously spurted in the man's grip.

Jaejoong's eyes, fixed on the male in his hand, widened a bit at the voice. It was not a warning, it was not a simple statement. The honorific that he heard everyday now sounded more like a plead and he turned to face his personal assistant, his grip on Jihu loosening, but still holding him in place. He saw fear written all over Yunho's face and he did not like it. What was Yunho so afraid of? Could it have been the CEO? That was not his intention...

The raven-haired let go off of Jihu, who immediately fell to the ground, coughing immensely and massaging his sore neck. Yunho was still pressing himself against the sink, willing to vanish from the situation. The abrupt change in the boss's behaviour got him scared and the overpowering aura radiating from the man sent chills down his spine.

“F-fucking h-hell...” spat out Jihu through his deep breaths and stood up, throwing daggers at both men with his eyes, “I'll c-come back a-and take what's m-mine!”

After that, he did not say anything else, just grabbed his bag from the bar chair and found his way out of the apartment. Unfortunately, just from the building and not from Yunho's life, but the other did not know that yet. When the intruder finally left, Jaejoong did not spend much time pondering over what just happened and turned around to go back to his room. It was the middle of the night and he was still sleep-deprived after a long week at work. However, Yunho had other thoughts and he was not going to let the other go. Seeing the rancour in his boss's eyes, he did not want to be at enmity with him. So as soon the black-haired man entered the living room, the other went after him.  
“Mr. Kim, I'm really sorry for this,” he started.

“I remember asking you very clearly not to bring your one-night buddies to this place,” Jaejoong cut the other off.

“Sir, you don't understand. That man is my–” Yunho tried to turn his boss around by softly tugging his shoulder.

“Do not touch me!” Jaejoong growled, blocking the other's movement.

Reckless emotions were taking over the entrepreneur's mind and it quickly was filled with wrath. The feelings overtaking his heart were too hard for him to comprehend. At first, when he stirred from his sleep from some unusual commotion in the other side of the flat, he felt irritated that his peaceful slumber was disturbed. But when he reached the source of noise just to find some extravagant looking dude all over his personal assistant, he was totally pissed off. He thought he had set the record straight when he bounced on Yunho three months ago. He believed the other understood that he was going to kill the man, if he ever brought another person home. Something long forgotten boiled up in him. He knew he should have listened to Yunho's explanation, but he just could not bring himself to do so. Rage, jealousy, and betrayal consumed him.

The CEO pushed his employee, but soon regretted it, because the guy fell across the floor, hitting the wall at the end with a loud thud. He let out a deafening and painful groan before closing his eyes and collapsing on the ground. Jaejoong was shaking uncontrollably, his muscles tightening to the point it started to ache. He whined from the stinging pain and started kneading his arms. If not the dreadful silence falling onto the room, he would have stood there and drowned in his own pain. With a little bit of concentration, he listened carefully to Yunho's heartbeat and all the soreness in his muscles was gone, when he realised that his personal assistant was barely breathing. In a split second he ran over to the man, soundlessly laying on the floor.

Yunho's head was bleeding and his body was twisted in an abnormal way. It did not take long for Jaejoong to realise the obvious – Yunho was dying. His Yunho was dying because of something he did. The guy looked at his hands, which just few moments ago blew Yunho across the room. Only then did he grasp that a great clout was required to do such thing and this could have meant just one – he had regained one more power, this time it was idiosyncratic strength. He cursed under his breath, kneeling down next to Yunho. The raven-haired lifted the other man's head only to have his hand coloured in sticky crimson. The man's face was completely expressionless and his chest was almost unmoving. Guilt washed all over Jaejoong and he himself had a hard time breathing. He could not believe that it was his own doing. How could he do something like this? How could he hurt Yunho so badly? It felt as if he committed the biggest felony of his whole existence.

The brown-haired man's slowing breathing made Jaejoong panic. He did not want to lose Yunho, nor he could afford such thing. It was not just because of the fact that the brunet somehow provoked the entrepreneur and made him regain already three powers in less than a year. The now unconscious man had something in him that Jaejoong unknowingly clung onto and could not go on without it. Although he could not put that 'something' into words yet. Still holding onto Yunho's wounded head, Jaejoong felt silent tears trickling down his cheeks. He kept looking at the man's face, hoping for him to suddenly open his eyes.

“No, no, no... You cannot die, Yunho!”

The raven-haired could not stop his tears, but he did not care about that too much. His mind was focused on keeping Yunho alive, but he could not come up with anything. With his other hand, he began kneading the left side of the other man's chest, trying to make his heart keep pumping the blood in and out of it.

“Come on, Yunho,” he cooed, hearing how the man's heart began beating more steadily.

His own palms became warm and he was sure that was not because of continuous attempt to retain the other man alive. He realised that the blood on one of his hands was becoming dry and stopped his movements. The older male checked the back of the brunet's head and held in a breath. The wound was gone and dried blood was the only evidence that it once was there. In a span of probably less than one hour Jaejoong managed to almost kill and heal Yunho.


	10. 1 August 2009

When Yunho woke up the next morning, he had a tearing headache pounding his skull. He hissed, grabbing onto his head and sat up. Only then did he notice a hand, lightly squeezing his forearm. He followed the limb with his eyes, pausing upon his boss's face. The brunet was having a hard time remembering yesterday evening so early in the morning and being met by the raven-haired in a fetal position, soundlessly snoring, was not helping. Even though Jaejoong was quite obviously fully clothed as he was not covered with the sheets, Yunho doubted his own state for a moment and peeked under the blanket with haste movements. Relieved to find himself dressed, the man with brown hair heaved a sigh.

He looked at the sleeping man, wondering how they both ended up in such situation. He could recall walking in on Jihu, who was lurking in the kitchen in the middle of the night. The man could also remember how the other had cornered him and the CEO caught the both of them. And how the raven-haired had shoved Jihu away from himself, shell-shocked, almost choking him to death afterwards.

The man looked really grim, Yunho thought. The way his fingers tightened around the intruder's throat, squeezing mercilessly. Or the way fire beamed in his eyes, making it seem as if the man was finding pleasure in wringing out the other's life. The personal assistant doubted if he had ever seen someone so angry before. The CEO was glowing with so much fury that previous night that the brunet had a hard time believing the same person was now lightly snoring by his side. Yunho had to admit that there always had been something about his boss that made him look rather dreadful.

He kept thinking how it was possible that Kim Jaejoong, the powerful but morose businessman, could look so innocent while visiting the dreamland. He eyed his boss a couple of times, spending more time examining the other's features. Everything was in the right place, every little detail of Jaejoong's face was perfect and the young man could not find a single flaw no matter how hard he tried. Yunho felt uneasy about his boss whenever he thought of him, but each time he would look at the man he seemed to forget all the strange and awkward situations the sleeping man had put him through in less than a year. Only one thing was crystal clear: Yunho had fallen for Jaejoong. Hard.

As if burning from the sitting man's intense gaze, Jaejoong stirred from his sleep and squinted his eyes from morning light. However, he was quick to focus and spot Yunho, realising that he was already awake. He sat up in a heartbeat and looked at the other man, trying to read his face.

“Yunho, how are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere?” were the first words that fell from the still-a-bit-sleepy guy.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim,” the other smiled awkwardly, finding the questions odd, “I'm perfectly fine. Aside from the fact that I don't remember anything after my ex-boyfriend left...”

“Oh, so that man was your ex-lover?” Jaejoong interrupted.

“Yes, I think I was trying to explain that to you yesterday, sir,” Yunho frowned a bit, trying to recall everything that happened the previous day.

“That is correct. You were following me, telling about that person, but then you suddenly tripped and fell down. You hit the corner of the table in the living room and lost consciousness, so I carried you to your room. It did not look too serious, so I decided not to call the ambulance,” Jaejoong started spilling random white lies, looking at his hands and feeling glad that Yunho was okay, but blaming himself for not letting the man explain himself last night.

“Oh, thank you, sir! I'm such a clumsy person,” the brunet smiled more, “I must have made you worry so much, if you even stayed up all night.”

“As long as you are alright...” Jaejoong started.

“No, really... thank you a lot!” he cut off the other, touching the man's hands, partly out of gratitude and partly out of the need to just feel the CEO's skin.

Jaejoong simply smiled, his nerves dancing under the gentle touch. He felt... happy. And that sudden happiness was making him dizzy. Yunho was healthy and not hurt even the slightest, it was as though Jihu did not appear in their apartment last night at all. The brown-haired man was even smiling at the boss, and the warmth coming from that smile was making Jaejoong's insides twist. A weird emotion was tickling each cell of his body and he shifted in the bed, deciding he should probably get up.

“It's still early morning, Mr. Kim. We can... we can just...” Yunho started, not wanting to let go of the other, but not realizing what was about to leave his mouth, “maybe lie in bed a bit longer? No, I mean... we...”

Jaejoong shut the other up with a small smile and lay back down on the other side of the bed. He looked at Yunho's flustered face and just giggled. The younger man tried to make up for his awkwardness by bringing up a random topic. It was enough to make them both spend half a day in the bed, just talking about everything and nothing. With each passing hour, the older male could feel his heart melting more and more at the sight of Yunho and at the sweet tone of his. When it was early afternoon, the entrepreneur rolled over in the sheets, settling on his stomach and placing his chin on the other guy's knee.

“Yunho, what is it like to fancy someone?”

“You sound like you've never liked anyone, sir,” the other replied, denying his need to run his hand through the CEO's black hair.

“Then it means I sound right,” Jaejoong confirmed.

Yunho stopped himself before the words on the tip of his tongue would slip out. He still remembered very well how the laying man confessed that he liked Yunho on his birthday. Of course, he was drunk and slapped the man after they kissed quite passionately, but the scene still replayed in his mind like a broken record. He could recall so well how, after asked if he liked his personal assistant, the CEO blurted out a confident 'yes'. No hesitation. That was enough proof for Yunho to believe that right now his boss was lying to him. Or maybe Jaejoong did not remember the kiss and what he had said before it?

“But Mr. Kim, aren't you almost thirty? I'm sure at least one person has caught your eye,” Yunho decided to push the subject.

“Even if I did, I would not have understood it” Jaejoong hummed after some time, beginning to draw circles on Yunho's thigh.

“Well,” the brunet started, trying to ignore the soft brush of the other man's fingertips on his leg,“I think it's the same for everybody. Sometimes we just meet someone, and for some reason want to know more about them. They seem special to us and we get this undying desire to be next to them all the time...”

“Is it not the same with love?” the other suddenly asked as Yunho began to drift off in his own thoughts, but the movements of his fingers did not stop.

“Love? Isn't it stronger than just a crush?”

“I do not know. You tell me,” Jaejoong pried his eyes away from the younger guy's leg and looked up at his face.

“You know you love someone when their well-being is more important to you than your own,” the brown-haired smiled softly, locking his gaze with the other's, “When you think you must protect the person you love and feel like you'd kill anyone who hurts them. If you can't put into words how much you care for someone, you can be sure you love them.”  
With that, Yunho finished his explanation aloud and Jaejoong did not dare to break the silence. His soundless doodling of patterns he traced with his fingers were the only source of noise in the room and yet, out of two of them, only he was able to hear that. Keeping his eyes on the male, the lying man asked the fatal question:

“Yunho, do you care about me?”

“Yes,” the brown-haired replied immediately, feeling that he had no time to hesitate or think rationally.

“Can you put it into words?” Jaejoong pushed further, already shifting from the other man's lap and fixing himself up.

“No.”

With that, Jaejoong leaned in and pressed his lips against Yunho's. Just like the younger guy did, the entrepreneur also cared about the other deeply. He could not bear seeing him in pain and the man's well-being was his top priority. To call it love, however, Jaejoong was still hesitant. The feeling was new to him. He had so many lovers over the millenniums, but not once had he at least been able to return those emotions. The only thing he was ever able to do was just feel guilt and pity towards those people. But with Yunho it was totally different.

With Yunho, he felt so secure and calm. He could get lost in that man's soul and be happy about it. He could fucking drown in the other and not mind that at all. Jaejoong fell for Yunho too hard to realise that on his own.

The kiss ended soon, but the sparks stayed with them forever. Both men melted from each other's smiles like a couple of silly teenagers. After a rather snarky proposition from Jaejoong suggesting that the personal assistant could now stop calling him 'sir,' the rest of the Saturday turned into a lazy day at home.

Many hours later, both men were comfortably hanging out on their living room sofa. The brown-haired was reclining on the piece of furniture, with the older man's head in his lap. Only an already empty bottle of fine wine and two smeared glasses resting on the coffee table decorated the current situation that was painfully familiar to the sitting man. Morning events made the whole day seem... weird. But the younger man could not forget his birthday and how he spent its evening on the very same sofa, tangled with his boss in the same position. The last time they sat like this, Yunho kissed the other and got hit. Thinking of the morning kiss, he was almost sure that if he tried to mark the other with his lips at that moment, he would not receive a slap. And yet, something held him back. He fancied Jaejoong, he really did. He felt the urge to cherish and protect the other from whatever threat there could be in life. But the hesitation was too big for his liking and it was obvious to the man. The mutual feeling sounded too good to be true.

As the fourth film was playing on TV, Yunho found it hard to concentrate on the action filling the screen. With his lazy gaze, he followed Jaejoong's hand, which quickly grabbed a piece of cheese from the plate of snacks on the table and threw it into his mouth. He focused on his boss's lips that hid the cheese which the other was munching on so deliciously. If he had any interest in the film left, now it was all gone. His attention shifted onto the man in his lap, as he ran his hand through the other's disheveled black hair. Jaejoong reacted to the touch immediately. He swallowed the cheese, pried his eyes away from the TV screen, and turned to look up at the other man. The reclining man was met by Yunho's glowing face. The man's eyes looked warm like never before and Jaejoong felt something undefinable in the pit of his stomach. Ever since he met the brunet, he kept bumping into a hard wall, not able to put his feelings into words. So this was not the first time his stomach tightened just from the sight of Yunho, but this time a smile crept up his face. The smile was genuine and lively; something the younger male was not sure if he had seen before.

Yunho could have looked at the raven-haired smiling all day long, but at that moment he had to feel it and so he cupped the other man's face, lifting him up to his level and caressing the other's lips with his own. Jaejoong whimpered in the man's hold, his smile growing bigger, if that was even possible.

The world was so pink.

Jaejoong was with Yunho.

Jaejoong was happy.


	11. 24 December 2009

Being aware of the date and catching the echo of Yunho's footsteps approaching his office, Jaejoong was quick to know what the personal assistant was going to ask.

“Mr. Kim is still there, right?” he could hear the brown-haired man turning to Minseo, the CEO's secretary.

“Yes, and you should suck it up and do your job. He's already late for the meeting and he won't react to me,” the lady at the desk hissed.

Jaejoong fixed his eyes on the entrance, he knew trouble was about to blow in through the door. On the other side, the brunet heaved an audible sigh and opened the door, stepped inside, and quietly closed it. Without instigating any eye contact, the personal assistant approached his boss, throwing a crumpled envelope onto the desk.

“It's still a 'no' from me,” he declared, his gaze glued to the ground, but gained courage to ask, as the businessman got up and put the envelope with two plane tickets into the paper shredder, “Do you have a problem with me being Catholic?”

“Do you have a problem with going to the UK with me on Christmas?” the CEO just answered with a question, his face stern and a painful reminder of the person Yunho had to deal with before they started dating.

“I can't leave the country right now, Jaejoong,” the younger one threw his arms in the air; he was in disbelief that they were still arguing about something that they already fought over in the early morning.

“What could there possibly be that would have you tied to South Korea?” the raven-haired suddenly hooted, growing impatient.

“It doesn't matter. You must go to the meeting, sir,” Yunho turned around, heading to the door.

“No, the meeting is of no importance right now. Tell me what is wrong,” the other male kept pushing and stayed in his seat.

“I said, it doesn't matter.”

“Yunho.”

“Jaejoong.”

“Just fucking talk to me!” the boss pleaded, standing up from his spot.

“I'll leave earlier today. I need to go to the Mass.”

With that, Yunho left the office and headed to the roof for some fresh air. The secretary followed her best friend with her eyes. Both sympathy and relief danced in her heart. The young woman did not like hearing her friend and their boss shouting at each other. But realising that no one else overheard the barney, she could breathe at ease. Those idiots risked the whole company finding out about their unstable relationship.

Yunho, on the other hand, did not even spare a glance at Minseo. He reached the roof rather quickly, not bothering to put on his coat. Light snowflakes fell on his nose, but it was barely zero degrees. He extended his arm a bit, observing the way the snowflakes fell on his palm and melted. The process was calming and it reminded the man how much he loved winter. Yet, he could not forget the bitter early morning. He could not believe how his religion blew up a hole in his current romantic relationship.

When Yunho opened his eyes in the morning, he was met by Jaejoong's smile and a white envelope in front of his face. Curiosity took over him so he opened the envelope in a split second and two plane tickets fell out of it. He gave a questioning look to his lover and the other just declared he was going to take Yunho to the United Kingdom in the afternoon. Normally, the brown-haired man would be delighted to travel somewhere, especially with his partner, but it was the day of Christmas Eve. That was the only holiday on which he could never go elsewhere. The reason behind that was not only that he was a Catholic, but also the tragedy, which occurred six years ago. Nevertheless, if any of his past lovers ever complained, he just put in front his religion and did not explain. Yunho was a wise man and he knew that it would have been better to just tell the truth, but the truth hurt him too much and he did not dare to voice it out. The fact that his mother and his best friend Minseo knew the verity was enough to console him and never speak of it.

But never was a boyfriend or girlfriend so enraged by his silence. When Yunho said he would not go overseas, Jaejoong was so disappointed. He was always amused by the fact that the brunet was a religious person, but he never expected him to be such a hardcore believer, so that missing one Mass during Christmas Eve would hurt him. If only Jaejoong knew that the Mass in the end of December meant much more to Yunho than celebrating the birth of Jesus...

Maybe, if he knew that, he would not have been sitting locked in his bedroom, when Yunho finally came back from the church right before midnight. Maybe he would have opened the door and shared the same Christmas cake Yunho bought last year. Maybe he would not have been so imbibed in his own thoughts and would have smelled the giant Christmas tree that Yunho had the workers bring in and put in the corner of living room. Maybe he would have heard the guy climbing up the ladder to put the shiny toy on top of the tree. Maybe the crumbs of cake between a sudden intruder's teeth would have echoed in his ears. Maybe he would have recognized Jihu's voice, which scared Yunho and made the young man fall down. Maybe he would have ran to the living room and saved his lover before the other lost consciousness. Maybe he would have known that this was Yunho's second worst Christmas ever.

But reality was different and it had no 'maybe,' only the things that did happen. Somewhere in Jaejoong's subconsciousness an alert button went off, when Yunho stopped breathing. Only then he heard the voice that was not welcomed in the penthouse. When Jaejoong finally appeared in the living room, he saw a sickening sight. Yunho was in a pool of blood, with a panicking Jihu by his side. The flickering Christmas lights were the only thing illuminating the place. The entrepreneur lost his mind, not really realising that he was doing. He ripped the intruder away from Yunho, throwing him to the other side of the room. The redhaired squeaked as he hit the wall and watched the older man's moves in bewilderment.

Jaejoong could still remember how he healed Yunho back in the summer and he hoped the same would happen this time. He cupped Yunho's cheek with his left hand and pressed his right one against the other's chest, carefully listening for a heartbeat. When he realised the blood was not flowing through the man's body, the raven-haired searched for the places where he was injured. There was a huge crack in Yunho's skull and a fatal fracture in his spine. The CEO put all his focus solely on the male, not paying any attention to Jihu, who was now crawling closer, trying to see what the heck the man was trying to do to the unconscious brunet.

The desperate man tried to concentrate and remember all the good times with Yunho. Each smile the brown-haired had ever flashed at the CEO shined in the back of his head. His loud laugh rang in Jaejoong's ears and he could feel the warmth not only in his own heart, but also on his hands. Cracks in Yunho's broken skull and spine started to dwindle away, the crimson red drying right there under the concentrated man's palms. It took only a couple of more minutes before Yunho opened his eyes and the sacred silence fell upon the room.

Jihu gasped. He was shocked to the core and all he could do was scramble up from the floor and run to the door. Jaejoong let him do that, knowing that his time to pay will come soon anyway. Yunho was the only thing that mattered to him. The raven-haired took the weak man into his arms, carrying him to the bedroom. He put him down onto the bed, laying beside and taking the enervated body into his arms again. Jaejoong could not believe it was the second time he almost lost the guy, who wordlessly fell asleep very quickly. Making sure his lover was safely sleeping and not in danger anymore, the entrepreneur left the bed and soon the apartment. It was time to hunt the culprit of Yunho's almost-death.  
Jaejoong's current state of mind was soaked up in every detail of Jihu. All he had to do to find the man was just to follow his scent through a few districts. The youngster's red hair made the almost empty night avenue seem aflame with bright colour. He was looking around like a frightened deer and that made Jaejoong smile mischievously. The CEO approached young man from behind, whispering in a happy tone:

“You reek of fear.”

“Leave me alone!” Jihu almost screamed, ready to run away.

“I am a man of few words, so I hope this will be enough for you to get my message,” Jaejoong said nonchalantly.

Before Jihu could get away, he put a heavy hand on the other's shoulder and lead him to an alley nearby. Trapped between a cold wall and Jaejoong's body, Jihu was in a deep clutter. He did not dare to speak, so only his muffled whimpers were causing noise. The angry man took youngster's throat into his hand and easily lifted him, his grasp tightening around the neck. At that moment, Jihu realised he should have known better. He should have not come to see Yunho again. At least not in the penthouse, where Jaejoong obviously was, too. The walking trouble, which Jihu certainly was, should have known after the first time the businessman nearly strangled him, but he was stupid and he never learnt. Luckily or not, the CEO was glad to teach the kid a lesson.

Jaejoong examined the squirming man's face, stumbling upon his eyes. They were so full of dread and anxiety, but it was also the same pair of dots that witnessed Yunho's fall an hour ago. Jihu's eyes were so ugly, the CEO had no idea how the redhaired ever dared to even look at the personal assistant. Feeling Jihu's life drenching out of his body, the strong man knew what he had to do. He did not want the young guy to die, he desired for the other to suffocate. So he put Jihu down, but held him in place by pressing his body against the brick wall with his left hand. He then caressed the man's cheek and plunged his thumb into the other's mouth. The youngster tried to bit down on in, but Jaejoong was resistant to any pain. The CEO, however, did tweak Jihu's tongue until half of it was separated from the rest. He fished the piece of muscle out of the suffering man's bloody mouth and waved it in front of his face. Seeing the horror in red-haired youngster's eyes brought pure satisfaction to Jaejoong and he could not help himself but giggle like a madman, which Jihu believed him to be.

This was not the end of Jihu's miserable night. Driven by the adrenaline in his veins, Jaejoong was not done torturing the poor soul. He licked his lips, soon figuring out what else to do. The raven-haired brought his finger, smeared with crimson red, closer to Jihu's left eye. He circled around it a couple of times, before wedging it in between the eyeball and eyelid. The hopeless guy opened his mouth to scream for his dear life, but only more blood came out as the damaged tongue sprung around the cavern obscenely. With a wide grin decorating his face, Jaejoong could not stop whirling Jihu's eyeball in the socket. But just as he sensed that the man was on the verge of losing his consciousness, he finally ripped the whole eye out. Jihu's heart was still beating, the entrepreneur could clearly hear that, but his vision had gone blank and he collapsed onto the ground as soon as the cruel man let him go.

Jaejoong threw one last look at the pathetic youngster, who's face was matching his hair colour, and headed back home. Before joining Yunho in bed for the night's sleep, he rubbed off Jihu's blood from his hand and cleaned his lover's dried blood from the floor in the living room. He cuddled closer to the brunet, hoping that he would not remember what happened again. The guy believed Jihu to be the only person who needed to have a clear memory of the night's events. And he still thought going to the UK and telling Yunho about William Shakespeare would have made the night easier.


	12. 27 October 2009

Yunho had never thought that he would wake up on Tuesday morning somewhere in the Middle East, snuggling with the most beautiful human being he had ever laid eyes on. He and Jaejoong were on their first trip together, but little did the man know that it was just the first spot of an endless list of places he would see with the CEO who was now his boyfriend. And he, for sure, had never thought he would open his eyes and be met by a pair of dark-chocolate orbs and a sweet whispering, which belonged to the rigorous boss of his.

“The journey was long. Why do you not sleep a bit more?” Jaejoong asked, smiling at his lover sweetly.

“I'm too thrilled about being abroad. And even such an exotic place! I can't keep my eyes closed longer,” Yunho explained, kissing the other man's forehead and getting up.

Without any other word, he got to the bathroom and prepared for the day. Jaejoong rolled over in the sheets, listening to other male's distant breathing. Sometimes he wondered how he could explain himself, if the brunet knew that he did not need to see the man to know his exact movements. All the sounds, all the smells were enough. And the entrepreneur was sure that soon he would be able to get to places in a heartbeat. Afterall, his powers were still coming back one by one.

As water stopped running in the bathroom, the raven-haired left the bed and walked to the window. The sun was only peaking over the horizon, slowly arising and warming up the earth. Soft wind was clinging onto Jaejoong's shirt and caressing his cheeks. He took in a deep breath, dusty air getting caught in his throat, but not enough to make him choke.

The man could not believe he was back in the place he had last seen a couple of millenniums ago. When he came up with the idea to commemorate the day Yunho stepped into his life, the first thing that bloomed in his head was taking the man on a trip. Picking the destination was as accidental as it could be, but after considering it more Jaejoong realised that it was not so random in the end. Ever since he saw the brunet, especially his eyes, the newcomer of his life somehow seemed connected to one of his past ghosts – Alexander the Great.

The CEO wondered what the reason behind it could be. Was it the warmth radiating from Yunho's eyes? He had already made up his mind that the male's eyes were way prettier and warmer than the king's. The current relationship between Jaejoong and Yunho resembled the one he had with Alexander, he thought. Known as Roxana of Bactria back in those times, he really felt attached to the ruler.

She knew the king loved her very much and that she was his only love of his entire life, but the woman was never able to call her feelings for the man 'love.' Whenever the king was at home, they would spend every single second together, delighted by each other's company, talking about everything and nothing. When the man was asleep, she would steal all his memories and see the places he visited and the faces he encountered. Those were truly great times for Roxana.

But now, standing in the same place after thousands of years as Korean businessman, he felt as if it was time for a much greater period, full of mutual love and care. Although the place was the same, he was a different person by all means, accompanied by a completely different man.

“Tell me again, what's this place called?” a pair of arms wrapped around Jaejoong's body, drawing him closer.

“Cappadocia,” he answered in short, lifting his hands up to touch Yunho's arms.

“And we are here because..?” the young man asked simply out of curiosity, not minding at all that he was bashed to a strange land in the middle of the week.

“I had been to this place a long time ago and I just wondered what it looks like now,” the raven-haired replied, gazing over the caves in front of them.

“Sometimes you sound like you've travelled all around the world, but I still have no idea how that happened. You're so young...”

To this, Jaejoong did not have a reply that he dared to voice out. 'One day, I will let you know the reason, Yunho,' a thought lingered in his head. Sensing his lover's sudden silence, Yunho tightened the hug and went on, his chin resting onto the other's shoulder.

“Not that I mind. I mean, that you took me here. It was so random, but I like it. I like seeing places, although I've been to Japan once and that's it.”

“I will take you to many more places and I will tell you many stories about them, Yunho. Shall we start with this one?”

Jaejoong turned around to face his partner, but got an immediate nod and kiss on the cheek. A sweet smile appeared on his face. After almost two months of being together, he fancied each tiny detail of the other man and being loved by somebody was not new to him, but actually cherishing someone was a thing he found hard to get accustomed to.

Both men did not spend too much time inside the hotel. They went on a tour around the place, exploring an endless number of caves and rocks, then reached the sky with a hot air balloon. Yunho was stunned by the view from above. He could only wonder what stories were embossed into those lands and what he would hear if the nature could speak. Little did he know that he did not need nature to find out the true history, bearing in mind that he had Jaejoong, the one who knew the exact truth behind all wonders, mysteries, and secrets and who was willing to tell him all about it.

That is how both men found themselves tangled in each other's embrace, as the sun fell down and their bodies warmed up under the silky sheets. They were lying in bed, exhausted after the day's adventures. Yunho was so lost in his own contemplations, he did not hear his lover's voice at first.

“I'm sorry, Jaejoong, what were you saying?” he bit his lip apologetically, the name of his boss not feeling foreign on his tongue anymore.

“I was just wondering if you have ever heard of Alexander the Great...” the guy mumbled into Yunho's chest.

“Alexander what? I have no idea what you're talking about,” the other confessed.

“Alexander the Great,” the raven-haired repeated again, this time a bit louder.

“Still not sure who he is. And why are you bringing him up, when I'm so happy here with you?”

“Because he was a really good man and people should remember him forever,” Jaejoong took the burnet's right hand into his, starting to lightly press the soft fingertips.

Yunho did not say anything, he just scooted closer to his partner, slowly rubbing his back with the free hand. The man knew from Jaejoong's tone and movements, that he was about to blabber for an hour or two and there was no point in stopping him. Sometimes he was not able to fully understand what the other was saying, but nevertheless he enjoyed those moments. Jaejoong always had an interesting story to tell.

Just as Yunho predicted, in a solid two hours he got to know probably everything a man could possibly know about Alexander the Great, including his one true lover Roxana of Bactria. The entrepreneur spent an extraordinary amount of time talking about that particular woman. Apparently, the lady was dearly loved by the emperor, but she could never return those feelings and she was devastated until the moment she tragically died. Yunho picked up on the sadness in Jaejoong's tone, when he talked about it, but he did not interrupt. To be honest, he was soon distracted by the fact that, as discovered during Jaejoong's story, the place they laid in right now, was conquered by the great emperor. Or maybe a more distracting piece of information was that Roxana obviously could not go on marches with her husband, but she would sneak out to visit those places at night. By the first half of third hour, Yunho was lost in the stories that were thrown at him.

“How do you know all this?” he blurted out

“I like to read,” Jaejoong quickly lied

There was no way he could tell Yunho the real truth. It would still take time for the raven-haired to confess everything and tell the true story of any of his past lives. He did not feel ready to say that he was Roxana. How she would worry about Alexander, when the man came back from the battle. Or how in the night she would teleport to the new places her husband just conquered. And how Cappadocia was her absolute favourite.

Sensing that the brown-haired man could get a headache from further stories, Jaejoong shifted and sat up. He gazed at his lover, wanting to distract him from everything he had just told. The CEO pushed Yunho a bit, so that the man would be lying on his back.

“Have you ever had sex in a cave?” he asked, bestriding the brunet.

“Well, I don't think this is an actual cave, you know...” the other playfully looked around their hotel room, tooled in an artificial cave, but smiled sweetly at the man above him after getting hit in the chest lightly, “Just lead me.”

Jaejoong flashed ironically the purest possible smile ever, before he got rid of his T-shirt. He leaned forward to share a long kiss with Yunho, sliding his hands under the man's shirt and massaging his shoulders, chest, and stomach. The personal assistant felt wonderful and overwhelmed. No matter how many times he had sex with Jaejoong, the act always confounded him. The way his lover guided him, the way his hands wandered all over his body, the way he settled on his lap, or the way his muscles flexed was so mesmerizing, so fantastic, so hot... All Yunho could ever do was just watch Jaejoong move through his half-opened eyes, being lulled by the other man.

Only when the entrepreneur languorously stretched by the other's side and laughed wholeheartedly, Yunho was able to breathe again. Patting his boss's sweaty chest, Yunho felt happy like never before. It was not like he had had a horrible life, but meeting Jaejoong had brought so much into it that he smiled like the biggest dork. And Jaejoong was more than glad to stare at that silly smile all night long.


	13. 5 February 2010

Jaejoong entered the apartment, Yunho came in after him and closed the door. Both men heaved a sigh, the long and busy work week was finally over. They had different thoughts, however. The brunet was glad he could come home and all he dreamt about was his warm bed. Jaejoong, on the other hand, felt more complex about it all. Coming home meant going to sleep and going to sleep portended vicious nightmares.

Yunho looked at the CEO, being well aware of his restlessness. After all, he was the one who slept next to the man when he woke up drenched in sweat almost every night. It began after Christmas and the personal assistant was dying to know the reason; or at least what the entrepreneur was dreaming about that made him lose so much sleep. He did ask the raven-haired once, but the other just refused to reply and said he would explain everything when it was not so scary anymore. And so Yunho did not bother trying to press him further, trusting in the man to do as he said, because that was the only thing he could do.

Not to mention that last Christmas was strange for Yunho, too. All he remembered was climbing up the ladder, then waking up many hours later in his bed with Jaejoong curled by his side. There was a pang in his head and lower back, but it vanished as soon as the other man woke up and snuggled even closer. Also, he was puzzled by Jihu's voice that sometimes echoed in the distance, and the electric feeling of warm hands on his skin even when he was all dressed up in a business meeting, watching his lover debate on the company's issues. The disturbing sensations were quick to go away and Yunho brushed it all off, sometimes having the memories come back when Jaejoong would wake him up in the middle of the night. Sensing his lover's uneasiness at being back in the penthouse, he put a hand on the guy's shoulder, encouraging him to get rid off the coat. The other looked at the man, gave him a small smile, and hung his coat on the hanger in the hall.

“What about a warm bath, Jaejoong?” the brown-haired asked, following the man further into the apartment, but the latter stopped in his tracks and swirled around, a wide grin suddenly decorating his face.

“Can we do that later? We should celebrate your birthday first!”

“What? My birthday? But it's not until tomorrow!”

“Yunho, do not be such a bore. I will make it unforgettable.”

The younger man looked at his boyfriend, trying to read the other's eyes. The sheen in them signalised excitement and such a lively Jaejoong rang the bells of good and fun times in his lover's head. The memories of a week spent in Rome last month were still vivid and a great reminder of how amusing Jaejoong could be. Although he became silent as soon as he stepped into the Golden House (after paying an impressive amount of money, of course, since the visitors were not welcomed in the collapsing palace) and sounded very sad and devastated while telling the story about some atrocious emperor, of whom Yunho had never heard of before. The entrepreneur later apologised and said he would make it up to his boyfriend. Little did the brunet know that that meant he would end up going somewhere a couple of hours away, blindfolded, and then skinny dipping in the Tyrrhenian Sea with his lover, the stars falling on them. Not that he minded much. Happy Jaejoong was his favourite Jaejoong.

So when on the eve of Yunho's 26th birthday, the raven-haired offered to heedlessly follow him, he did not hesitate. Both men got ready in an hour. The birthday boy tried to get a clue of what was going to happen by constantly annoying Jaejoong, but the other did not even bother. All Yunho knew was that he should dress up nicely and wear the entrepreneur's favourite perfume. With a hope of not ending up in the seaside on a chilly winter day, he willingly let himself to be blindfolded once again.

Half an hour later, he found himself standing on a hill in the darkness of Itaewon, decorated with flashy lights and crowded with fancy looking people. He looked around before spotting a white glistening word “Pulse” in front. The guy glanced at Jaejoong, who just smiled and intertwined their fingers, stepping towards the club. Yunho could not hide his confusion. Of course it was not his first time at a club, but Jaejoong and clubs did not really click in his head, but then again, nor did skinny dipping or unexpected travelling around the world. He told himself to just go with it and not overthink something that did not matter that much.

Both men entered the club, music blasting deafeningly loud, and green, blue, and purple laser lights blinding them. Jaejoong dragged the other man straight to the bar, ordering expensive cocktails for both. If the taller man were to tell the truth, he had no idea how the night would end. Knowing the wealthy businessman, it could be anything, anywhere, anyhow. Whatever the raven-haired bought as the first drink, it was strong; so damn strong that Yunho almost chocked on the liquid. After energetic dancing and strong shots that followed the cocktails real quick, he had to excuse himself and take a bathroom break. He thought his boyfriend must have had a super power to be so resistant to rapid alcohol drinking.

Yunho locked himself in a vacant stall and just plunked on the closed toilet seat, after awkwardly slipping and nearly hitting his head in the dirty ceramic. The guy slowly breathed in and out, trying to get rid of the sickening dizziness. He knew well that there was no chance he could go on any longer. He never was a heavy drinker in the first place. Maybe he could just talk Jaejoong into going to some quieter place? Or perhaps they could just head back home and enjoy each other's company? That sounded exactly like something he would have loved to do at that moment. His thoughts were interrupted by a couple of youngsters entering the place, their dialogue impossible to be ignored.

“Did you see that guy climbing up the bar?” a raspy voice echoed in the room.

“The one with pink leather jacket? He's so out of it, but he's hella hot!” a man with a higher tone replied.

“But isn't he a CEO of some company? He looks really familiar to me...”

“You mean Kim Jaejoong? Now that you said it, I guess it's really him. Oh well, rich guys like to get drunk, too. Maybe I can go suck his dick, if you continue being so boring tonight.”

“Oh, shu–” Yunho did not wait until he could hear more.

Jaejoong was the CEO drinking in this club. But he was not wearing a pink leather jacket or climbing up a bar. Well, at least not before Yunho left the dance floor. With his heart starting to race, the brown-haired slammed the door of the stall, frightening a guy leaning on the wall and the other one sliding down on his knees. After exiting the bathroom, he headed straight to the bar and stopped as soon as he saw his boyfriend. It was not as if he was disgusted or anything like that. He just could not believe what he was seeing. Jaejoong was swirling around a silver pole at the end of the bar. His expensive black jacket of classic model was replaced by the cheap-looking pink leather jacket that hung low on his shoulders. The wasted man was smiling like a complete goon and his smile increased as soon as he spotted Yunho. The birthday guy rushed to the bar, grabbing Jaejoong by his ankle.

“Yunnie-bear!” the wasted man just shouted, ignoring the grip, “What took you so long? I have been waiting for you!”

“Get down, before anyone takes pictures!” Yunho clamoured, “And where the fuck did you get this ugly thing?”

“This is not ugly,” Jaejoong motioned to the eccentric piece of clothing and crouched down like he was about to tell a big secret, “Some guy offered me a shot of absinthe, but I just drank it and ran away after stealing his jacket. And now watch me! I have been dying to show this to you!”

With that said, or more like screamed, the entrepreneur stood up and wrapped himself around the slim piece of metal. Using his super strength, he easily climbed up the pier, his legs in the air and eyes fixed on Yunho. He could see the surprise in his lover's eyes that were quickly replaced by amusement and excitement. The brunet watched every move attentively, trying to savour the moment. He could not help himself but lick his lips at Jaejoong's movements. Yet, after all he was the personal assistant of one of the richest CEO ever and he could not let him twirl around some pole in a gay club any longer. Therefore, to Jaejoong's dismay, the younger male dragged him down the pole and then soon out of the loud place. He shoved the guy into a more shadowed area, wanting to have a peaceful conversation with him, but the other was too 'out of it,' just like the man in the bathroom had said.

“Yunnie-bear, I was not done yet!” he pouted, hitting Yunho's chest.

“Let's just go to some other place that won't make you appear in tomorrow's headlines.”

“But there are so many other things I want you to see!” Jaejoong kept on whining, the alcohol on his breath hitting the other man's nostrils.

“Well, why don't you just show me everything you want to at home?” he suggested, feeling the tipsiness coming back to him.

Jaejoong felt too drunk to say anything, so he gave in. He let Yunho hail a taxi and so, in a bit more than half an hour, both men were back in their penthouse. When they entered, the brunet bent down to undo his shoelaces. He could swear that the time he took to get rid of his shoes and stand up was only two seconds, but when he was back on his feet, Jaejoong was nowhere to be seen.

“What the fuck? Did you just teleport or something?” he muttered under his breath, then shouted loudly while taking of his coat, “Jaejoong! Where the heck are you?!”

“Here!” the voice rang right next to his left ear.

He turned to that side just to see nothing. Yunho swiveled around a few times, but could not see a glimpse of the other man, although he was so sure that 'here' sounded as if the raven-haired was right next to him. The birthday man heard some muffled noise coming from the further of the penthouse and headed towards the living room. When he entered the place, he questioned his lover's soberness and the number of drinks the other had in the club while he was trying to recover in the bathroom.

Jaejoong was sitting on the dining table, his legs over the edge and swinging in the air like of little child's. Yunho's jaw almost dropped at the innocent smile decorating the other guy's face. It was not the first time they both got drunk and Jaejoong ended up acting funny. They would empty a bottle of wine now and then, which made the personal assistant slightly tipsy, listening to the entrepreneur blabbering about his past. But for the first time the CEO was a bit too random, making Yunho weirded out by the sudden change of behaviour.

“You keep disappearing today... Come here!” Jaejoong motioned for the man to come, flashing him a cheerful smile.

The younger male came closer without speaking. He could not think of anything to say. He was not even sure what to think.

“I want to have sex,” Jaejoong declared, simply wrapping his legs around his lover's waist and laying down.

“Here?” Yunho questioned, looking at the fragile table.

“Do you not want me?” the drunk man pouted.

“Of course I want you. But I don't think this glass table will be okay afterwards.”

“Do you really think I care about a table? Come on, Yunnie-bear!” he extended his arms, beckoning the other to come into his embrace.

“First, get rid of this stupid jacket, 'cause it stinks,” he teased, his hands folded close to his chest.

“I will wear nothing but this jacket when we make love from now on,” the laying man stressed.

“Jaejoong!” the brunet rolled his eyes.

“Yunyun!” the other giggled, mocking the guy.

“Yunyun? What is that?” Yunho shook his head.

“That is you, silly. Now let me go. I will take a shower.” Jaejoong unwrapped his legs from around the guy, jumped from the table and went to the bathroom.

Left bewildered, Yunho poured himself a glass of water, smiling at the new nickname. It was childish and ridiculous – just like his boss, sometimes. But it was just for him, and hearing it from his lover made it sound special. After drinking his water, the guy turned to the bedroom but stopped at the bathroom door. He could not hear running water and he was sure his boyfriend had said he was going to take a shower. The brown-haired opened the door just to be hit by another surprise.

This time, Jaejoong was sitting in the empty bathtub, still clothed, except for the pink jacket which was thrown next to the laundry basket. Yunho approached the tub only to see 'Yunyun' written on the wall with toothpaste. The raven-haired was happily drawing invisible figures on the edge of the bathtub with his fingers. He did not even look up to see the guy's reaction. Jaejoong did not need to do that, afterall. He could know what was going on without actually looking.

“You're like a different species, when you're wasted... Jaejoong, let's just go to bed, alright?” the brunet said, squatting down to face his lover.

“But I cannot sleep,” the other said, looking down at his feet.

“If you have a bad dream, I'll be by your side,” Yunho reassured.

This just started a long debate with Yunho getting more and more tired, but Jaejoong not stopping his whining. The brown-haired was starting to get pissed off by the other's drunkenness. So he simply lifted the other up and brought him to bed. After some more struggling, the younger man managed to undress Jaejoong and change into pyjamas himself. As soon as he laid in the bed, the entrepreneur moved closer, basically hugging the man like a koala. The brunet was fast asleep, but Jaejoong tried his best not to enter the dreamland. To achieve that, he started doodling on his lover's bare arms with his fingers. At first, it was fine and even calmed the man down. But after a few moments, the places where his soft fingertips came in contact with Yunho's skin, brutal bruises started to appear.

That was exactly what he feared the most. His nightmares were becoming true. He pulled away from the sleeping man, looking at the fresh wounds as his eyes dared to fall out of their sockets. The bruises soon began to widen, nauseating and stinking pus seeping through the skin to the surface. Yunho's arm began to look like it was bloated and putrid. The scared shook his lover, not able to understand how the other could just sleep so calmly and not feel anything. After being shaken violently, Yunho did, with dissatisfied face, open his eyes

“What's wrong, Jaejoong?” he asked groggily.

“Y-your arm...” the other pointed at the guy.

“There's nothing,” the brunet said sleepily, glancing at his exposed arm.

Before the CEO could say anything else, Yunho grabbed him and pulled him close, wrapping his shaking body in a tight hug. With nothing more said, the birthday boy was once again fast asleep, with a flouncing boyfriend in his arms. That night, the raven-haired, again, dreamt of his lover dying.


	14. 23 May 2010

More than three months later, when Jaejoong was not tortured by ugly nightmares anymore, Yunho believed that he himself had gone nuts. He was laying on the living room floor with his mouth agape and some red wine spilled next to his head, the now empty glass turned upside down. Seconds ago he had felt merely tipsy, but now he was sure that he was completely wasted or maybe even completely crazy... Normal and sober people do not see their lovers floating in the air on silver helium balloons in the middle of the night, right? Because that was exactly what was going on right then.

Truth be told, the start of the day was rather burdensome for Yunho. It was Sunday, so by waking up with rising sun, he had disturbed his boyfriend's quiet slumber. The entrepreneur was not too happy about that and kept grumbling incoherent words even after the brunet apologised and said he had to do something before going to church, which he still would never miss if not for Jaejoong taking him around the world and not returning in time for the Mass.

In fact, even yesterday they had had a small rumpus, when the personal assistant refused to go on a weekend trip to China. Just like last Christmas, Yunho did not breathe a word about the reason behind his stubbornness. But the urge to let Jaejoong know only grew and he felt that the time might come soon. Very soon. In fact, it did. After having a longer-than-usual morning jog, Yunho returned to the penthouse to take a long shower. He made sure he scrubbed himself well, so that he would go to the church with clean body. Then, the young man made himself a light breakfast, because he really despised the humiliating moment when his stomach growled in the quiet sacred place. Instead of using the metro like usual, he chose to get to the destination on foot. After more than an hour of walking, Yunho entered the church and quickly found a seat.

The Mass started and ended soon, but the guy had no intention to leave just yet. He got on his knees with his hands clasped together. Although tears were daring to slip through his tightly shut eyes, he began to murmur words he knew by heart, his tone sometimes rising up

“Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever. Amen,” Yunho whispered, the tears streaming down his face.

He wanted to go on, to pray more and to let the words go past his lips, but that was all he managed to push out of himself. Because it just hurt too much. That was also why he never talked about it with anyone. Because after all the years, it still stung like Hell. The brunet must have spent a solid hour in church before he actually succeeded in picking himself up to leave. The day was bright and the streets were full of people, rushing everywhere and minding their own business in the middle of the day. While the sun was softly tickling his face Yunho reached his beloved Namsan park, which he used to spend his days in when he first arrived to Seoul, but now visited only at the end of spring. Even going for a walk in that park was a painful reminder of the person whom he loved dearly, but could not see anymore.

“May Christ, Who called you, take you to Himself; may angels lead you to Abraham's side,” thought Yunho each time he looked up to the clear blue sky.

He did not know how much time he spent strolling around, but he was sure it must have been a lot, because when he checked his muted cell phone four missed calls from Jaejoong flashed on the screen. He felt bad when he realised that he had not even thought of his lover until the moment he saw the missed calls. But did he not have a right? He had been occupied with memories of a person from his past that were haunting him from time to time and making him sad. When Yunho confessed to Minseo that he had not told their boss yet, he got scolded like an underage child might if they came back home wasted with a still lit cigarette in their hand.

When Yunho finally came back home in the afternoon, he bought a birthday cake and maybe a dozen silver balloons filled with helium. Jaejoong met him literally at the doorstep, with his hands on the hips and a gloomy expression in his face.

“Excuse me if I sound like a desperate housewife, but where the fuck have you been and what the Hell is that in your hands?” the businessman asked immediately, folding his arms close to his chest and letting the other man into the apartment.

“Please just don't say anything and follow me. I could've done this in some karaoke room, but you have the right to know,” Yunho said calmly, kicking off his shoes and stepping into the slippers.

The brown-haired arrived at the living room with the other man silently trailing along just like the other had asked. He put down the box with the cake onto the coffee table and let go of the balloons, which went up and bumped into the ceiling. The guy then took off his coat and put it on the sofa, keeping his eyes on the box. He appreciated Jaejoong's effort to not say anything, because when he glanced at the man for a brief moment, confusion and curiosity was obvious on his face. Yunho knelt in front of the box, carefully opening it. He took out the cake and put in a single candle, then lit it up.

“Only my mom and Minseo know why I am always in Seoul on Christmas Eve,” the brunet turned to Jaejoong, motioning for the other to come closer, and then fixed his gaze on the candle, “I've had so many fights with friends or my past lovers, but I never explained it to them. Someone very dear to me died on Christmas Eve. And today's their birthday. I didn't tell you before, because it still hurts me. But I've realised that the love I've had for them and the love I have for you right now is almost the same.”

Hearing Yunho's quickened heart-rate, the entrepreneur reached for the other's hand, squeezing it lightly. He could sense the negative emotions that were radiating from his lover and so he did not dare to cringe even when the other started to recite a Christian prayer.

“Give him eternal rest, O Lord, and may your light shine upon him forever,” the personal asisstant whispered with his eyes closed and added, before letting the candle burn out, “Happy Birthday, dad.”

Jaejoong was not sure what to say. Family was never an important phenomenon in his existence. For him, a mother and a father were literally just people who gave him a physical form for several decades. He had never experienced the bond that the brunet obviously shared with his father even after the old man's death. The guy did not even have parents in this current life, he grew up as an orphan. But he appreciated what Yunho just did. There was no doubt that it took a lot for him to let it all out and let his loer know why Christmas Eve and, apparently, May 23rd were so sacred to him. It planted a thought of being more open in Jaejoong's head, too. The guy wondered if it was the time to spill the beans about him being... not human.

“You know how bad I am with words, so just... thank you for finally telling me, Yunyun,” the raven-haired finally spoke.

“We should eat the cake. Is there any wine at home?” Yunho asked, smiling at the stupid nickname that his boyfriend refused to drop.

The entrepreneur wordlessly went to the wine rack in the cupboard at the end of the hallway. He picked the bottle of one of the oldest red wine they possessed and took a good look at it. Minutes ago, Yunho took him to the darkest room in his memory by opening the deepest and most harrowing wound. It was a sign of ultimate trust and eternal love and Jaejoong was well aware of that. He still could not put his feelings towards the brunet into words, but he wanted to tell the guy about himself... if it could even be called 'self.' But how could he do that? Should he just come up and say 'Hey listen, I am not human?' That sounded ridiculous. Looking at the bottle of wine in his hands, he thought it might actually be a solution. He could just get Yunho really drunk, show him some of his superpowers and then just blame everything the other saw on the alcohol. That would still count as telling, right?

“You know today's Sunday and we have work tomorrow?” Yunho laughed, when he saw the raven-haired coming back with two bottles of wine.

“Well, the night is long,” Jaejoong shrugged and opened first bottle, trying to look casual, even though he was dying to show off to his lover.

Yunho snorted. Putting the box with cake onto the floor, he invited Jaejoong to join him. He kept one of the forks that he had brought from the kitchen while the entrepreneur was looking for the wine and gave the other to the man. The CEO poured wine into the glasses, also brought to the living room by the brunet. Both guys stayed in silence at first, tasting the old wine and taking small bites of cake straight from the box, not bothering to put it in separate plates. After pouring Yunho a second glass, the businessman was the first to speak up:

“I am glad that now I know why Christmas Eve is so important to you.”

“To be honest, I feel much better after telling you,” the other began, sipping on his wine that was already awakening tingling sensations in his mouth, “I loved my dad so much, and I still do. You see, when I graduated from high school, I enrolled in the National University, I moved in with my dad, because he'd lived here already after divorcing my mom. He'd show me around the Seoul and help me with anything... He's... He was a perfect dad, really...”

Yunho could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them away, not wanting to cry at that moment. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After opening his eyes, Yunho saw a piece of cake, hanging on the end of a fork, in front of his face. He followed up the fork and the hand that was holding it just to see his boyfriend beaming at him. The smile was so bright and reassured him that it was okay to be sad, Yunho felt his insides twisting and warming up. He smiled back, taking the offered bite of the cake. In the end, the sweet treat was too huge for two men to finish it, so when Yunho took the leftovers to the fridge and came back, Jaejoong had already turned on the TV set and built a fort of pillows for them to snuggle on. They had already drank the first bottle of red wine, so the brown-haired chuckled and said whatever was on the tip of his tongue:

“You know, when you do such things, all I can hear in my head is that song where a kid cutely sings,” he then cleared his throat and started to mimic the well-known lyrics, “You're my honeybunch, sugar plum... pumpy-umpy-umpkin...”

Jaejoong was fast to burst in tears from laughing like a madman and he was so done with his boyfriend by the time the other came down onto the floor and finished off the song with a kiss on the tip of the raven-haired man's nose. Yunho was obviously drunk as a newt already, but the entrepreneur was determined to get the man even drunker. He refilled the younger man's glass and shoved the liquid into his mouth between the kisses that the brunet would not stop giving him. As the second half of the long forgotten, but still on-going, film started, Jaejoong pushed his boyfriend onto his back, accidentally dropping the glass and spilling some of the wine onto the expensive carpet. Yunho closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, the CEO's voice echoing somewhere in the distance, saying something about going to the bathroom. When he opened his eyes, that was the moment he realised he had had too much wine. Way too much. He swore to never drink again. 

The raven-haired was right above him. Floating. In the air. With a huge grin plastered on his face. Yunho's eyes widened, breath caught somewhere in his lungs. He watched as Jaejoong started to go up higher, the smile never fading, until he hit the ceiling with his back and the silver helium balloons, that Yunho brought earlier, covered his body. The raven-haired spun in the air a couple of times, shooing the balloons away, never letting his eyes leave the laying man's face, which was simply unfathomable.

“I can do more!” he squealed, suddenly appearing next to Yunho on the floor, and continued, pointing at the red stain on the carpet, “Look!”

Concentrating on the blot, Jaejoong waved his index finger at it and within seconds the red colour vanished from the rug. The brunet sat up immediately, ignoring the dizziness and his gaze shifting back and forth the floor and his boyfriend. He could not feel his face and his body was like a bag of heavy stones, there was no doubt that he was completely wasted. But he had to make sure it was real, because it could not... it just could not be true.

“Is this really happening?” Yunho whispered foolishly, grabbing his lover's face with both of his hands and leaning closer to the guy.

The older male looked the other in the eyes and all he saw there was pure shock and... terror. He was not sure how to explain it, but the only definition he could think of at that moment was horror. Jaejoong was starting to panic, dread of scaring Yunho was growing on him quickly. He blinked a few times and did what seemed as the only solution – he just vanished from the man's grip and from the entire living room.

Materialising in the bathroom, Jaejoong tightly grasped the sink for support. He squeezed the white ceramic in his hands until the edge cracked. Was he too bold with what he did back in the living room? Was it too soon? Would there ever be a right time to tell Yunho who, or maybe what, he was? How could he do that if he himself did not even know how to put his existence into words? The man heaved a long and deep sigh, feeling like he was on the verge of crying. He felt so stupid, pathetic and just angry at himself. The wrath was boiling up from the pit of his stomach and he growled through gritted teeth. The raven-haired wanted to smash everything that was near him, but he tried to calm down. He could not just abandon his boyfriend, who was still probably laying on the floor in the living room.

When Jaejoong finally came back, he saw Yunho staring right at the entrance as if he had been waiting for the man for several years. The raven-haired approached the wasted guy and bent down, trying his best to smile. He breathed easier the moment the brunet smiled back, bringing his hand to touch the other's face.

“I'd better just go to bed. I just thought I saw you flying in the air and then disappearing,” he started to explain incoherently.

Jaejoong nodded, helping the guy to get up. After giving his lover one last kiss, Yunho staggered straight to the bedroom, holding onto the walls for balance. The entrepreneur watched the man until he entered the room and heard him falling onto the bed with all his clothes still on. The raven-haired then looked at the floor, where a red stain had been. He picked up the glass that was still laying there and proceeded to clean everything up. Soon he went to the bedroom and undressed Yunho, tucking him in and snuggling next to the man.

Maybe trying to share his biggest secret with Yunho was not the best idea. Maybe he shall never do that again.


	15. 8 September 2010

Yunho was used to stepping into luxurious hotels and halls, eating the most ridiculous and expensive foods, meeting people he never thought of being able to even take a glimpse of. But when he entered the Landmark London and saw tall palm trees in the middle of the place, he just stood in marvel.

“You will catch a fly,” Jaejoong tapped the man's chin playfully as they walked to the reception desk.

Both men were soon escorted to their posh suite. Exhausted from the long flight, Yunho plopped face-down on the king sized bed immediately. But Jaejoong had other things in his mind. He went up to the bed and nudged Yunho's foot with his leg.

“I am going to take a shower.”

“Mmm-okay,” the other muffled into the sheets.

“Join me,” the raven-haired invited.

“Go first. I'll shower later,” Yunho replied, turning his head to the side, so his words would not be eaten by the blanket.

“Yunyun!” the CEO whined, kicking the man in the shin that was hanging over the edge of bed.

The brown-haired stood up, letting out a loud groan. Jaejoong hugged the man, giving him a peck on his lips and turning it into a hard kiss. He wasted no time in tugging Yunho closer and unbuttoning his shirt.

“Okay, maybe I can skip a nap,” the brown-haired smiled into the kiss.

Not breaking the contact, Jaejoong pulled Yunho after himself as he moved backwards, reaching the bathroom. The brown-haired man let the other lead him. He had learnt a long time ago that there was no point in trying to dominate Jaejoong, because even if he was shorter or had a smaller frame he always managed to overpower the personal assistant. The CEO also seemed to know all the ways to make Yunho feel good and the latter did not complain at all. Therefore, after a long kissing session that started to feel less like teasing and more like torture, Yunho found himself against the wall of a walk-in shower, with water running down his toned body and Jaejoong planting kisses on his stomach.  
The raven-haired took a minute or two, maybe even more, to adore his lover's body. The way his muscles seemed like they were sculpted and how his waist dipped in just the right places looked perfect to Jaejoong. Maybe because it really was flawless or maybe he was just too horny. The CEO gave lingering pecks to Yunho's toned legs and pelvis. By the time he reached the standing man's cock, it was already semi-hard. Jaejoong sucked the tip, earning a moan from the other male, who sunk his fingers into the black strands on his lover's scalp, trying to get any kind of support. Jaejoong's tongue flicked under the head, then engulfed the other's entire length in his soft, wet heat, making Yunho lose his mind. Sliding further and further, the kneeling guy hollowed his cheeks more in order to take in more of the length. As his nose almost brushed against Yunho's lower abdomen, the man felt tremors throughout his tensing body. Jaejoong massaged Yunho's member with his skilful tongue, trailing along the veins. He worked in a steady rhythm, gliding his lips down the shaft and relaxing his throat to take Yunho deeper.

With one hand wrapped around the base of Yunho's cock, Jaejoong brushed the fingers of his other hand against his own tight opening, circling around his puckered hole slowly. He massaged the rim with water being his only meagre lubrication. He slipped a fingertip inside and tested the resistance of the muscle. Jaejoong soon pushed the first finger through the rim and moaned, sending vibrations down Yunho's dick. The man was growing impatient, he really wanted and needed the personal assistant inside of him. Jaejoong took a few more minutes to push the second finger up to its knuckle and start scissoring himself.

The personal assistant grew harder and harder, subconsciously thrusting into Jaejoong's mouth as he drew closer to his orgasm. Jaejoong stopped the guy from moving, abruptly drawing his fingers out of his clenching hole and using both hands to grab Yunho's hips and shove him into the wall. The saliva and pre-cum trickling down Jaejoong's chin were washed away by the steamy water and the man pulled away. A series of moans and curses fell from Yunho's mouth, but he was soon shut up by Jaejoong's tongue, sliding into his mouth and exploring the cavern.

Jaejoong turned around, letting Yunho take a good look at his perfectly moulded ass. The raven-haired leant into the cold tile wall as the water streamed down his curved back. Yunho's body was addictive and Jaejoong was not satisfied with only his own fingers. The man positioned himself, spreading the panting guy's buttocks. Yunho's penis twitched against Jaejoong's entrance and they both groaned at the sensation. The CEO grabbed it, positioning it at his prepared hole. Yunho slowly invaded the other man by pushing his whole length in until he filled him to the hilt, pausing now and then to make sure Jaejoong was alright. And he was. He was more than alright as both pain and pleasure laced through his body.

Jaejoong again took the lead by moving his hips until Yunho's were slapping against his firm ass at the pace he loved. Yunho followed, watching as his dick pulled out and went back in with each thrust. The CEO then guided the brunet's hand to his neglected cock, holding onto the wrist until the man picked up his favourite speed. As Yunho rubbed over the tip ever so passionately and hit the prostate, Jaejoong's eyes rolled back with pleasure. They both panted rapidly with water streaming down their bodies. Yunho carried on thrusting in and out, feeling close to releasing the hot heat up inside of his boyfriend.

“Do it,” Jaejoong commanded, reading the other's body.

Yunho gave a few last strokes to Jaejoong's length as he thrust into the man, and then the older male's walls clenched around his pulsing dick and he came inside. Jaejoong mumbled something incoherent as he was too lost in the state of frenzy to focus on the words. Yunho rode out his own orgasm, then pulled out and collapsed on the wet floor, his legs too weak to hold him. The shorter guy followed and draped one arm across Yunho, caressing his leg.

“Thanks for not letting me sleep,” Yunho finally said after catching his breath.

“Now we should really get cleaned,” Jaejoong laughed, leaning in for a kiss.

The CEO got up to his feet and stood under the water stream, reaching for the shower gel. As he scrubbed his skin, he felt fingers rubbing shampoo into his scalp slowly. The guy looked behind himself to flash a smile at his boyfriend and turned back to let the other continue what he was doing. Jaejoong leant into the touch, really enjoying the massage. It was not the first time they took a shower together, but it was not something they did often. Jaejoong sighed when Yunho started to wash out the bubbly shampoo. Feeling no more lather running down his body, the raven-haired turned once more to give his boyfriend a peck on his lips and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a clean towel around his waist.

“Hey! Who's gonna wash my hair?” he heard Yunho yelling.

“You!” Jaejoong smirked, grabbing another towel to dry his wet hair and walking to the mirror.

The brown-haired man scoffed, squeezing shampoo from the bottle onto his hand. While rinsing his head, he watched his lover. Jaejoong stood before the mirror, looking at his own reflection and drying his hair with a towel. He then reached for a hair dryer and turned it on. Yunho could not believe how ideal his lover looked even when doing something so simple as blowing hot air at his head. If Yunho had superior eye sight like Jaejoong did, he would have traced the water drops rolling down the CEO's body. Unfortunately, or not, he could not see that kind of detail, but it did not prevent the man from sighing and thinking of how much he adored the other.

Jaejoong finished cleaning up and left the bathroom, went to the bedroom and settled in the bed. Meanwhile, Yunho ended his way too long shower and repeated the same ritual the other man just completed. After getting fresh and clean, he returned to the room, where he found Jaejoong tangled under the sheets. It was only midday, but they were dead tired after the long flight and, well, a hot love-making session in the shower. Yunho drew the curtains, making sure no angle of light could disturb them. He changed into new boxers and laid next to his lover, snuggling close to him.

“So, when will you tell me why we are in London?” Yunho inquired, when Jaejoong turned around, and he realised that the other was not asleep yet.

“It will probably sound cheesy, but this is where I first got with another man. Also, I just like the city,” the raven-haired explained, sneaking to grab Yunho's hand and press on each of his fingertips lightly, one after another.

“Oh, really?” the personal assistant laughed, “Tell me more.”

And so Jaejoong told Yunho the story- by replacing most real facts with white lies, of course. It had not been his first time with a man, in fact, but rather the last. It did not happen maybe ten years ago, like Yunho thought, but rather a few centuries back. He was not a rich Korean entrepreneur named Kim Jaejoong, but rather an English teenage tramp; Alston. The raven-haired did tell Yunho that the man who loved his cute little butt was named William, but the surname Shakespeare rang only in his own memory, without being said out loud.


	16. 25 December 2010

“God, did you bathe in your perfume or something,” Yunho whined and covered his nose as soon as he walked into the bedroom.

“Do you think it is too much?” the CEO bit his bottom lip, turning from the large mirror to look at the other man.

“Relax, Jaejoong. It's just Minseo and her husband. It's not like we hang out for the first time,” the male replied, fixing a strand of his boyfriend's black hair.

The raven-haired squeezed a nervous smile, trying to confide in the taller man, which was never a hard thing to do. Mostly because the brunet was simply right. The first time Jaejoong actually got to meet his long-time secretary outside of work was back in September, when he got invited to her wedding as the woman's best friend's boyfriend. It felt strange and awkward before he got there, but as soon as he greeted the newlyweds, it was a wonder they did not meet in a non-formal setting before. Both Minseo and her now-husband were really cool people and he enjoyed their company, not just because they were his lover's friends. Still, it was Christmas dinner and he himself invited the couple to come to the penthouse for the first time. It would had been a pure lie to say he was not at least a little bit nervous.

Yunho planted a re-assuring kiss on the man's forehead as the doorbell rang and left the room. Excited to see his best friend, he practically ran through the hallway until he reached the door and quickly opened it. He let Minseo and the man behind her in. The newcomers kicked off their shoes, stepped into warm slippers and hung their coats. By the time Yunho was done hugging the woman and greeting the man, the entrepreneur also appeared in the hallway. He greeted the married couple by hugging them shortly and welcomed them to come to the dinning room. There, Minseo gave a Christmas gift for her boss and her best friend. Jaejoong thanked her for the serving board full of all kinds of cheeses and crackers. He then gave his present, which was a fancy gourmet gift basket. Yunho gave a short tour around the place, while Jaejoong finished preparing the dinner table, lighting the candles and opening the wine.

The evening was all peace and fun until Jaejoong found himself lost in the action. As Minseo's husband began telling one of the wild stories from his job (he was a bartender; really an odd career for a secretary's lover), the businessman realised how strange the situation was. Perhaps for the first time in his current life, his home felt full of people and warmth. It already felt like that, ever since Yunho moved in two years ago, but this time it was a bit different. And, really, the people that were now sitting on the opposite side of the table were some that Jaejoong never thought he would be sharing a meal with.

Who would have thought that he would ever eat together with his secretary Miss Lee. Who would have thought that her husband, who had been working as a bartender his whole life, would be joining them. Who would have thought that they would share a Christmas meal. Who would have thought that Christmas would ever become special to Jaejoong. Who would have thought that he would feel so happy when all of this happened. No one could have thought that, if they had not known that Yunho would step in Jaejoong's life.  
The raven-haired sighed silently, munching on a piece of roast duck. He fixed his eyes on the shiny ring, embracing the young woman's slender finger and trailed his gaze to the same-looking ring on her husband's hand. Jaejoong wondered what made people want to marry and what the point of it all was. Of course, he had done that in his past lives, but he never truly understood what was behind the act.

“May I ask something?” the CEO gained the courage to speak up, when short silence fell upon the room and everyone was enjoying the food.

“Sure,” Minseo nodded, seeing that the question was directed at her.

“Why did you two get married?”

“I thought you were gonna ask something bad,” the woman laughed and continued, looking at her husband, “Well, I don't actually know. I just think that it's something people eventually do, when they truly love each other. Besides,” she took the man's face into her hands, squeezing his cheeks playfully, “I'm very happy that this is the first thing I see in the morning for the rest of my life!”

The room was instantly filled with laughter, caused by the couple's cuteness. The raven-haired glanced at Yunho's left hand, thinking that it was missing something and Minseo was fast to catch the gaze, but she kept her mouth shut. Only much later, when already stuffed with the duck and a bit tipsy from the mulled wine and she was putting on her coat along with her husband fixing his own scarf, the woman made sure her boss could not hear and leant in to whisper into Yunho's ear:

“Expect one of these soon,” she waved her left ring finger in front of the man's face.

Yunho did not seem like he fully processed what the young female had said and just bid goodbye to both his best friend and her husband. He then went back to the dining room, where Jaejoong was blowing out the candles. The brown-haired came closer, embracing the man from behind and resting his chin onto his shoulder.

“We should invite them more often,” he said.

“I could not agree more. I still do not understand how a secretary and a bartender could end up together, but I really enjoy both of their company,” Jaejoong replied, leaning into the hug.

The brunet loved the moments like these; just the two of them in their apartment, in their little sanctuary, late at night. It was all he ever needed and he felt ecstatic whenever he held the older guy in his arms. Dazed with the happy thoughts, Yunho turned the other man around and pecked his nose. The personal assistant gave him a gummy smile and went to the bathroom for a shower. The raven-haired stayed behind and cleaned the table within a few moments. Perhaps he should have been more cautious with using his powers when Yunho was near, but by the sounds of running water in the bathroom he was sure the man could not witness what was going on back in the dining room.

Jaejoong retreated to the bedroom and got ready to sleep. He was too lazy to take a shower and his head felt too heavy from all the puzzling thoughts he had been having lately. The male was dozing off most of the time, whether it was at work or at home. His mind was filled with Yunho to the point one could say that his head was simply polluted with images of the other man. He kept pondering over the last couple of years, thinking how his life had changed ever since Yunho stepped into his office. Ever so clearly did the CEO remember the strange presence of his new personal assistant and how it had actually scared him. He could also recall very well how he was daunted by the other man. And when he looked in his eyes for the first time... When he saw a ghost from his past in them... When all the millenniums-long memories attacked him... Jaejoong was petrified and he never imagined the intimidating man to be the one who would muddle and sooth his soul... if he truly ever had one.

Too lost in his thoughts, Jaejoong did not feel the bed dip in a little, when Yunho laid down beside him. He did, however, feel the arms wrapping around his waist and hear the other male's sweet but sleepy voice.

“If I knew you weren't going to take a shower before sleep, I wouldn't have done it either. Now I'm gonna wake up with your fragrance on me anyways,” the brunet's voice was muffled with his face in the crook of the CEO's neck, but continued when he did not get a response, “You're so out of it these days...”

And, really, Jaejoong was not being himself lately. Yesterday, the personal assistant found his boss in the dark living room with flickering Christmas bulbs being the only source of light in the room. The entrepreneur was silent and he did not look up even when Yunho approached him. While fidgeting with his fingers, he just kept staring at the Christmas tree, his knees close to his chest. When asked what was wrong, the raven-haired just waved at it and smiled, digging into the cake that Yunho had bought after the Mass.  
“Do not worry, Yunyun. I am fine,” he reassured, playing with his lover's fingers and faking a yawn.

On the tip of his tongue, Jaejoong could taste all of his doubts and feelings. He wished to tell everything to Yunho. Not just how glad he was to meet the man and have him in his life, but he also wished to talk about who or what he was right then and who he had been throughout the years. Jaejoong knew very well, however, that it was not possible. There was no chance for the other to take in all the information calmly and to not lose his sanity. He was slowly getting used to the idea of his lover never knowing the truth behind the CEO's existence. And he was perfectly fine with it. But as Jaejoong massaged the younger guy's ring finger, he again thought it would look better with something around it.


	17. 14 April 2011

“Before I forget to tell you, you should know that we are going on a fancy date today and we can skip going to the office tomorrow,” Jaejoong said to his personal assistant nonchalantly as he stood from his chair to go to the next meeting.

The other tried to question why, of all days, that one was for some special date and what they were even going to do if both of them would need a day-off afterwards. The CEO kept quiet about the evening. Also, he did not say a word when Yunho asked for a longer lunch break, reasoning it with a meet up with his friend which he could not squeeze anywhere else in his tight schedule. The younger man was lying, the entrepreneur could smell the anxiety and spot the droplets of sweat forming on the man's forehead. But he trusted the man and believed that even if the other had a reason to lie, it could be easily justified. Another excuse for letting Yunho's lie just slide was Jaejoong's own loss in his little world. He had huge plans for the night and he could not shake off the nervousness even though he appeared completely normal to those surrounding him all day.

There was a simple and clear explanation for why that day was the one Jaejoong chose for an impressive dinner with his boyfriend. Exactly two years ago the CEO pinned his personal assistant to the bed; the event that turned his life into an intense roller coaster and gradually brought all of his powers back. He was superior with keeping track of time and incredibly humane with giving a meaning to certain dates. The entrepreneur was sure that the personal assistant had no idea that that particular day could have any significance, but he was okay with that. Jaejoong was perfectly fine with anything that had to do with Yunho.

But he was nothing close to being okay in the long-awaited evening, finally sitting on the opposite side of the dinner table from the brunet. The guy was so nervous and somewhat petrified, his heart was about to burst and colour everything with crimson red. He could see Yunho's lips moving, but it was impossible to hear the words coming from the man's mouth since they were blocked by the irritating drone in the CEO's ears. The older male blinked a few times, focusing on his own pulse and trying to count the much too rapid heartbeats. He took a deep, deep breath and exhaled. When he opened his eyes and fixed them on Yunho's face, the other's voice finally soothed him and he felt normal again.  
“Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” the brown-haired asked, self-consciously reaching for his cheek.

“No, no, no. You look good,” Jaejoong shook his head.

“Finally, you're answering me. I was blabbering for like ten minutes here. Can you now tell me why we are here? And alone?” Yunho's eyes narrowed.

“I wanted to enjoy this view, just with you,” the other tried not to let his tone waver.

“Isn't it too much? Unless you're planning to do something really special...”

The last sentences Yunho mumbled under his breath, but Jaejoong could hear it all very well. He did not reply to the remark and carried on the conversation, bringing a better subject. Not to mention that the guy saw no evil in what he had done. The man had already booked the whole restaurant in Namsan Tower only for him and his personal assistant on the man's birthday a bit more than a couple of years ago. Plus, now it was way more special than the first time.

When the men were waiting for their dessert and Yunho's sour mood seemed to go away, Jaejoong got down to business. He clutched a black box in his pants' pocket and cleared his throat, anxiety creeping up on him again.

“Yunho, I have something for you,” he said, trying to shoo the nervousness away with a smile.

“Really? You shouldn't have! Your company and the great food is already enough,” the man smiled back, cocking his head to the side a bit.

Not able to speak up, the businessman just took the box from his pocket and put it on the table. He watched Yunho's eyes widen and his mouth fall agape, when the guy opened the box and saw what was inside.

“It looks so fucking expensive,” the male breathed out.

He took his time to look at the actually simple bracelet – black leather with a golden clasp. The accessory became not so simple when he saw the words engraved deeply into the gold. The man laughed at his lover's cheesiness and courage to ask someone to put 'Jaejoong ♥ Yunho' on the bracelet, but his heart was filled with joy and he showed it with the million 'thank you's and a quick peck on the CEO's lips.

“I feel so stupid now, 'cause I also bought something for you, but forgot it at home,” the brunet chuckled in disbelief.

“Do not feel so, Yunho. You can give whatever you have for me when we come back home.”

Yunho just nodded and heaved a sigh, when the waitress brought their dessert. Jaejoong felt better now that he had learnt the truth behind his lover's longer-than-usual lunch break, but kept silent. He excused himself before digging into the last dish and went to the bathroom. As soon as the man reached it, he gripped the ceramic of the sink in his shaking hands. The entrepreneur thought that after giving the bracelet to Yunho, he would feel better and could breathe easily. But yet once more the guy was short of air and his heart was pounding loud, clawing at his ribs. Jaejoong looked at the mirror and was met by his own suffocating face. He was feeling nauseous, but when he tried to vomit nothing came out. Even two fingers pushed down his throat did not help and all it changed was the colour in the guy's face, now paler than before. The man grunted, wanting the uneasiness to vanish. He attempted to clutch his heart, but a small thing, hidden in the inside pocket of his jacket, prevented from doing so. Jaejoong took out the small box and opened it. A small piece of silver jewellery with a small shining diamond on top reminded the man what was the point of the dinner in the first place. Before the precious thing could slip out of his sweaty hands, Jaejoong closed the box and put it back into the secret pocket. He quickly washed up and returned to the dinner table. He could not make Yunho wait longer.

“I was about to go check on you,” the brown-haired said, worry evident on his face.

“Sorry for that. I am fine,” the older guy smiled, sitting down.

Yunho studied the other's face a bit, but after not finding anything suspicious, he dug into the pie. The CEO watched his boyfriend's movements, something he did a lot. He wondered how it would have been if that man had not stepped into his life. Kim Jaejoong would most probably be dead already and live as someone else, somewhere else. The entrepreneur noticed that Yunho was already wearing the new bracelet. He hoped his lover understood that the present was much more than just a shiny and fancy thing to show off his fortune. And really, there was nothing for Jaejoong to worry about. As soon as he laid his eyes on the engraved words, Yunho knew very well why he got such thing. The older male was never straightforward with his feelings and the personal assistant had gotten used to the idea of never directly hearing the words 'I love you' leaving the guy's mouth. But he was fine with that for he had learnt that Jaejoong spoke with actions and usually the words were not needed in order to read what was in his head or heart. The brunet smiled into the pie, being well aware of Jaejoong watching him. Although he had no idea that the raven-haired was actually looking at the man's left hand, wondering if it was the right time to decorate it with that something resting in his pocket.

The guy's thoughts were still wavering even when both men were back in their apartment. They were already in bed, lazily tangled in each other's embrace and Jaejoong was playing with the younger male's fingers, a habit of his Yunho never grew tired of. The personal assistant had already given his gift to the boss, which was an anklet. The entrepreneur looked weirdly at the accessory at first, but the other quickly explained that this seemed the only reasonable present, because the CEO never wore anything on his hands or neck.

“I'm so full. Please, let's never go there ever again,” Yunho whined, shifting in bed and distracting the other man from his troubling thoughts.

“Yunyun!” the guy squeaked, sitting up.

“God, why are you shouting?” he scrunched.

“I-I... I...”

“Jaejoong?” the laying man sat up, seeing his lover's sudden struggle to speak up.

The nervous male stayed silent, looking for consolation in Yunho's eyes. Those chocolate orbs he loved so much were sedating and he had made his decision. He was happy, but only with Yunho. He would protect the man no matter what and even when he would die, he would be reborn as someone who could still stay close by Yunho's side.

That was it. The time had come.

That was it. Jaejoong was ready.

That was it.

With sweaty hands, the entrepreneur fished out a small box from the bedside table. Before Yunho could even blink, the little box was presented in front of this face, opened. Its content made the man's insides twist and all the blood seemed to be gone from his body. A shiver ran down his spine and he seemed to be at loss of words.

“Is this,” Yunho tried his best to speak, his eyes fixed on the ring in the box, “Is this why we can skip work tomorrow?”

“Yunyun, I belong to you,” the raven-haired whispered almost inaudibly, his fingers on the box tightening.

If the businessman did not get an answer to his proposal soon, he swore he would faint right there. The answer was non-verbal though, because after a few moments of sheer silence Yunho still could not produce any other word or sound, so he just literally jumped on the other male, crashing their lips together. The raven-haired smiled into the kiss. He was beyond happy and such a simple word as 'happiness' would have been a joke to call his current state of mind. The entertained never knew that life could be this exciting and thrilling, making one feel so good, so incredible, so wonderful. The man wished the moment would never end, but he broke the lip contact for a brief second just to slip that ring on Yunho's finger. The brown-haired gave a quick peck to his lover's nose and moved further down, placing wet kisses on the other's neck and then his exposed collarbones. Jaejoong laced his fingers through Yunho's brown hair, breathing in the other man's natural fragrance.

Yunho laid the other male down, instantly realising how differently he was acting. Jaejoong's body movements were new and the younger guy knew what it all meant. He was curious as to how it all would end, but swore to himself to make his boyfriend and now fiancé to feel better than ever before. For Jaejoong, it was really weird at first. He thought it was impossible for him to ever submit so easily, but it turned out that there was nothing to worry about. As soon as the words of compliance rolled out of his mouth, it was nothing to make it real. He trusted Yunho and knew the other would never make him feel weak, something he could never ever withstand.

There was only one thing left for Jaejoong to make him completely open up to the other man. But that still seemed impossible. Anyhow, his mind was too pre-occupied with other stuff at that moment. Maybe the CEO would ponder more about the biggest struggle another time. Because thinking of anything was unimaginable when Yunho's lips on the older guy's thighs were sending him into pure bliss.


	18. 1 August 2011

Jaejoong felt uneasy about the trip to Germany ever since the mere thought of going there even crossed his mind. Afterall, that was the place where he carried out the most awful life in the entirety of his long existence on Earth. Even the man himself believed that to be true – and he was surprisingly slow at admitting things or, more precisely, letting remorse into his addled heart. Nevertheless, he tried to hide his anxiety from Yunho, but his fiancé had already mastered the ways of sensing the uneasiness in the air whenever he was far from feeling alright. Yet, the personal assistant kept silent, hoping the CEO would calm down once they reached the country.

Unfortunately, Jaejoong did not settle and his first attack of brutal memories happened right when the waiter, at an outside café, took their order. With the shining sun and mild wind, it was a truly beautiful day, but not for the businessman as his mental breakdown began. The day would scar both men and make them realise that their love was as beautiful as it was miserable, but there was still a long day and night before that.

“Schnitzel with buttered vegetables for me and fish sticks with mashed potatoes for him,” Jaejoong casually ordered in German.

“Why do you even speak German? It's such a hard and angry language,” Yunho chuckled, actually amazed by his lover's ability to speak several languages fluently.

The CEO just scoffed at the remark and looked at the people around them. Most of the strangers were rushing back and forth along the wide street. Some were strolling around and taking pictures, obviously tourists. For a brief moment a dark silhouette, seemingly not belonging in the place, twinkled somewhere between the hurrying pedestrians, but it was gone by the time Jaejoong fixed his gaze upon the spot. Soon he saw the figure again, but he was not sure if it was the same one or another. This time the shadow stayed in the man's sight a bit longer. Now he was able to see that the figure had some grey shabby attire, covering a way too skinny body, and it was impossible to depict the gender of the intriguing stranger. Just as the raven-haired wanted to see the mystic person's face, the sea of walking people washed it away. The guy blinked a few times, looking around. He spotted many more silhouettes, all looking painfully similar to the first one. But every time the man tried to see their faces, they would vanish and appear in another place. 

Jaejoong was growing impatient and his fingers curled around the fork tightly. Yunho encouraged him to dig into his lunch and so he did. But just as Jaejoong's mind was not occupied with mysterious figures and he was putting the first bite into his mouth, one of the shadows appeared right in front of him. Its face was mere centimetres away from his and the man swore he just looked Death in the eye. The visage in front of him was utterly horrid, with parched lips, protrusive cheekbones, wrinkles on every possible flexure, and the eyes... it had no eyes. Two bottomless holes dehisced in the sockets like fresh wounds and Jaejoong shrieked, his fork falling back onto the plate.

“Honey?” the brunet cooed, furrowing at his lover's sudden sound.

“Yunho,” the other shivered, closing his eyes and trying to push the terrifying face out of his mind, “Do you not see it?”

“I saw you dropping the fork with your schnitzel and splashing the veggies all around the table,” the other said, studying the man's pained expression.

“No, not that. That face... the scary figure... It is here – right in front of me,” the CEO did not open his eyes.

“Since when do you think I'm scary?” Yunho laughed.

The other man's voice relaxed Jaejoong's nerves and he dared to open his eyes, only to see the same image. This time, the shadow was closer and its nose was almost touching his. The man whimpered, not wanting to scare people around them with his screams, and grabbed the edge of the table to hold onto something.

“Yunho, I-I need to get back to the hotel. It is t-too cold for m-me,” he whispered, his eyes tightly shut.

“Okay, but you'll have to open your eyes if you wanna walk,” the other muttered, after calling for the waiter.

The shaking man gained courage to stand up only when he felt Yunho's grip on his arm. He slowly opened his eyes and sighed with relief when he saw the most beautiful man looking at him with worry. The air, in fact, did get chilly and Jaejoong leant closer to his lover as they turned towards the hostel. On their way, the CEO did not see the morbid figures again, but the sky grew darker and an unbearable smell snuck up the man's nose.

“It stinks so badly,” Jaejoong whined, trying to cover his face.

“I can't smell anything,” the taller man said, confusion obvious in his tone.

No matter how hard the entrepreneur pressed onto his nose, he could still catch that awful stench. Soon he could put it into words – it ponged like death. The niff in the air was of burnt bodies and he knew very well why he smelled it and Yunho could not. The same was with the shadows, now Jaejoong knew who they were and why he saw them. He hoped for it to stop when he reached the hotel room. Hope was useless and the guy should have known that faith did not cross his road. Ever.

When the men finally reached their hotel room, the raven-haired drew the curtains immediately after checking if the window was sealed. Yunho protested against the sudden dimness in the place, but the other man apologised and reasoned his behaviour with saying that he did not feel well. The brunet suggested his lover to just lay down and sleep it off, while he would go to the living area and order something to eat, since he felt quite hungry after not finishing his meal at the café. Jaejoong did not dare to complain and did as the younger guy told him.

The laying man tried to focus on something nice, like Yunho's handsome face, warm eyes, perfect nose, full lips, soothing voice, relaxing touch... He smiled to himself and shifted in bed, only to feel something brushing against his skin, fully covered with clothes. The banshee was back. It was staring at the man with its empty black dots and Jaejoong wanted to cry out loud, but he did not want to let Yunho know. He tried to convince himself it was not real, but when he tried to pray away from the ghost, he bumped into another one. The scared man whimpered, standing up from the bed and looking around the darkened room. The guy was surrounded by the dead people, multiplying by the second and all crawling towards him. The CEO thought there could not be anything more horrifying, but then all the dozen of corpses opened their mouths and screamed in unison. He had never heard such a deafening shriek and was just in time to cover his ears before they would start bleeding.

The fact that Yunho was peacefully munching on his food in the living area and watching some dumb TV program once again made it crystal clear that Jaejoong was hallucinating. But no matter how hard he tried to focus on the thought of a happy life with the brunet, the ghosts were haunting the man. The raven-haired could not hold it in anymore and so he ran to the bathroom, shutting the door tightly and locking himself in the small place. He quickly turned on the cold water and splashed his face with it. Jaejoong then felt something coming up his throat, daring to slip out of his mouth. He bent down to the toilet and threw up. The man groaned as his throat burned and opened his eyes to realise that he was vomiting a sticky blue substance, reminding him of a dreadful suicide pill. He was fucking terrified and he wept as he stood up to rinse his mouth. His body was weak and he felt like dying. Especially when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

“No, no, no, no, no!” the guy shrieked, looking at his ugly visage, then suddenly bursting out in German, “I am alright! This cannot be happening! I am healed!” he tried to wash the wrinkles, the funny moustache, the silly eyebrows and most importantly the stern gaze with freezing water, but as the horrid face was still of the same old man, he broke down in screaming pleads, “But I am with Yunho! Everything is perfect now! I am not what I used to be! I am Kim Jaejoong!”

“Jaejoong? What's going on?” the violent shaking of the bathroom's doorknob caught the crying man's attention.

“N-nothing,” the male inside tried to say with a steady voice as the old man was still looking at him from inside the mirror.

“Let me in,” the shaking did not end and Yunho's voice became somewhat angry and threatening.

“I-it is f-fine,” he hiccuped, trying to suppress the tears.

“Please, Jaejoong,” now the man behind the door was pleading.

But he did not answer anymore. How could he if the man standing in the bathroom was not even Jaejoong? He breathed in and closed his eyes, trying to calm down. The small place started to reek of burnt bodies and the male was forced to open his eyes. The entrepreneur was back, he could see that clearly in the mirror, but he was surrounded by the banshees again, who were standing in one place and looking at the scared man in silence. The man's skin began to burn and he peeled off all of his clothes. By the time he reached for his pants, it was as if they were glued to the skin and he had to rip them off his aching body, leaving red and bleeding wounds on his legs. He could not hold in the screams and so he shouted for his dear life. His usual attention on Yunho, no matter where the other was, was gone and he could not hear the man's quickened heartbeat nor how he tried to break the door, hitting it with his shoulder a few times.

Jaejoong looked at his legs in pure terror, his vision starting to blur. Obscene blisters and open wounds began appearing on the rest of his body and he could smell how his whole physical form was drenched in unbearable stench. It pulsed and ached so fucking bad, the standing man wailed like a mourning mother. The man was on fire and all he wanted to do was to crawl out of his dying skin. He pressed his fingers onto his torso, they easily stuck to the bloody skin. As the male drew his fingers up to his chest, they left fresh wounds behind, creating curvy lines with hot blood gushing to the surface. The raven-haired cried in pain, searing tears coming out in the form of same blue substance that the man previously puked. The stuff started coming out of his nose, ears, and mouth, too. The man believed he was going to choke on the scorching cyanide.

And then he remembered. A cold bath. Freezing water. It helped the last time the memories were this ugly and the hallucinations were this strong. Just as he turned on the cold water of the bathtub, a soft voice permeated through the door and he realised that the ghosts were gone:

“Jaejoong, I'll be here when you open the door. Whatever is wrong, whatever you're feeling, just let yourself drown in pain until you eventually start to swim. It's gonna be okay. My love, I'm here for you.”

The entrepreneur stopped in his tracks and listened more carefully. He could hear the brunet settling down on the hard floor on the other side of the bathroom door, his heart beating wildly and breathing unsteady. Jaejoong cried hard. The personal assistant cared so much for him, only a complete idiot could not understand that. Why did the man care that much? Why did the CEO have to be such a horrible person? Why did he have to be whatever he was? But the pain, except for the one deep in Jaejoong's vicious heart, was gone and the older guy could finally breathe. He plucked up his spirits and slowly unlocked the bathroom door, opening it even more slowly.

Yunho's eyes instantly caught the other's and the standing man sobbed even more. The personal assistant quickly stood up, opened the door fully and took the other man into his tight embrace. Jaejoong shook in his lover's arms. He was embarrassed of himself and wanted to erase the past hours from the younger man's memory. Yet, the businessman managed to only drift away in his fiancé's hug and did not realise that they both were laying in bed with his body carefully wrapped in sheets.

“I saw the scratch marks all over you, Jaejoong. Just tell me what happened in there,” the brunet pleaded, tenderly massaging the other man's back.

The still weeping male froze, he was not aware of any marks on his body. How was he supposed to explain that? 'I was hallucinating, so I hurt myself?' Yunho would totally think the man was crazy if he did not believe that already... Truth to be told, the personal assistant tried to think as less as possible. Jaejoong was the biggest wonder he had ever faced in his life, with no real clues to justify the actions. There was some part hidden deep inside the CEO and he desired to get that part that the man was refusing to give to anyone so hard.

“Is this still about the ugly memories?” the younger male asked, trying to provoke the other.

But Jajeoong still kept his mouth shut. He was touched by the fact that the man cared about him so much that he remembered something he confessed long time ago. Just as he was sad that Yunho still carried these words in his memory, because these were really very bad things... he kept accepting the other guy's calmness and so he could not hold it in anymore. Was it the wrong timing? Most definitely – yes.

“Yunyun,” he freed one hand from the tight cocoon and reached for Yunho's fingers, pressing onto each of them one by one, “you are well aware of the fact that I have travelled a lot in my life, but... sometimes I... I-I did not necessarily do good things... I have made some b-bad decisions and... A-and part of them happened to be h-here... in this country.”

“What could you have possibly done wrong?” Yunho almost scoffed, not really following the other's thoughts, “It's not like you've killed a person...”

The silence that fell upon the room was deafening and the way Jaejoong began to press on one of Yunho's fingers kept the man alert.

“Jaejoong, did you kill someone in Germany?” the brunet breathed out, not believing his own words. When the raven-haired curled his fingers around Yunho's and nodded, the personal assistant's voice started shaking a bit, “But it was an accident, right?” This time Jaejoong took more time to answer, but when he finally squeezed the man's fingers and shook his head with newly hot tears streaming down his face, the personal assistant's heart was about to stop, “Just one person?”

That time the raven-haired shook his head immediately, snuggling closer to the man, his head pressing against the other's firm chest. There was no more point in lying or covering up the truth. The moment the fatal shake of of his head reached Yunho's brain cells, he heard how the man's heart dropped and how he found it difficult to breathe normally. The younger guy started thinking about how his fiancé always spoke in riddles and metaphors. There was hope that he meant something else by 'killing' and Yunho was determined to hold onto that tiny silly thing of faith. That was the only way he could keep himself sane.

The brunet hugged his lover tighter and the older man thought hard about if it was time to reveal everything. To explain himself and tell the rest of all of his stories without any white lies. Like when he was born as Nero the Emperor, he had lost his last power and so he went mad, going after innocent Christians, burning down the glorious city Rome, killing his family members and torturing the unfortunate Sporus... Or how Adolf Hitler was supposed to be a poor Austrian artist, but he grew desperate and could not stand being powerless anymore, therefore he started a calamitous war, crushing lives of million people and then ending his own with a pill of cyanide... And maybe then Jaejoong could make it all up by admitting that all of his powers came back when he met Yunho and he had no idea why it happened and why he was so special, but the guy did not mind it at all... Plus, Yunho's eyes reminded him of Alexander the Great at first, but he soon realised that they were much prettier, much warmer, much more like home, which Jaejoong never truly had or even thought of having a home as something important. Because he was the force, the energy, the creator of all, the thing that gave the start to everything, even to Earth, which, after a countless number of years, became the home for a lot of living organisms. Jaejoong and everyone else he had ever been never needed home.

But this time Yunho was not drunk. He would remember everything until the end of his time. And he had already heard too much. The entrepreneur was screwed. When the troubled man fell asleep in his lover's loving embrace, Yunho carefully snuck out of bed. It was the middle of the night, but he left the bedroom and stood in front of the huge window in the living area. He saw people carelessly walking down the street, illuminated by night lights and that was when the brunet cried. Sudden tears ran down his cheeks, but soon he was a crying mess, trying to suppress sounds, because he did not want to wake the CEO up. Only his shoulders shook violently as the salty water pearls fell out from his chocolate orbs and that was the moment the world knew: Kim Jaejoong fucked up.


	19. 11 November 2011

During the entirety of the last month of summer, Yunho did his damnedest to reveal the truth behind Jaejoong's confession of killing people in Europe's most populated country. He spent countless nights going through old articles, looking for any information that would connect Kim Jaejoong with any deaths that had occurred in Germany. But, no matter how much sleep the brunet lost, his research was completely barren. After being fully convinced that the entrepreneur just blabbered some metaphorical nonsense, he could breathe easier, but at the same time he felt terrible. He thought himself to be a bad man for doubting his lover, kind of lurking behind his back. The guy tried to show Jaejoong that he still loved him no matter what terrible things he might have done, or just simply said, in the past. He never took off his engagement ring and always dandled the man fondly in the night, even if it was too hot to sleep with a warm body in his embrace.

Yunho loved Jaejoong so much. At times, his love was too much for his own sake. Loving someone, or perhaps something, like Jaejoong was dangerous – for the man held so many secrets that, if the personal assistant ever knew too many of them, he might go insane. But the exact lack of knowledge about Jaejoong's real existence made it easy for him to care for the man. He swore to always protect the man he loved; to brush his tears away; to salve his bruises; to chase away all of the worries the other had; to wait for the man with open arms whenever he was ready to reach the surface. The men never spoke about Jaejoong's real demons, because it was such a sensitive topic for the CEO that the personal assistant managed to become satisfied with knowing that at least the demons were less scary because of him standing next to the miserable man. The brunet was ready to go after Jaejoong no matter what and the businessman would had followed his lover anywhere. In the middle of November, three years after they met, both guys were happy in their own calm, little bubble.

When one late autumn morning the raven-haired woke up earlier than his fiancé, little did he know that the day would bring pain that he only dreamt of in his past nightmares. Usually, the personal assistant was the one to wake up first, wash up, and only then pull the CEO out of his dreamland. But, that night, Jaejoong had trouble sleeping so he happened to be completely awake by the time the clock showed 5:24 AM. The raven-haired decided to roam around the penthouse, not really sure what to do since he was far too awake to go back to sleep, but it was still too early to start getting ready for the day. After more than an hour of pointless walking it was finally time to bounce over to the bathroom. Even by the time Jaejoong was looking for his clothes, the brunet was still sound asleep. He looked peaceful and so very happy that the entrepreneur did not want to wake the man. So he silently finished getting ready for work and, after leaving a carefully placed sticky note on the night stand and kissing his lover's forehead, he left the apartment alone.

Jaejoong soon found himself in the first meeting of the day. He could see the not-so-discreet looks from his colleagues, who were obviously confused by the absence of Jung Yunho. It was strange not to see the personal assistant because he would usually stick around the CEO all the time. Now the secretary, was assisting the boss and as Jaejoong watched her distribute the papers to everybody, he thought how nice it actually was that working together never got awkward for them, keeping in mind how many double dates they had had with their significant others. The man's thoughts kept wandering away back to his lover, who was probably still happily hugging the pillow in bed. He wished to be there, too. Jaejoong would probably be content staring at the younger man forever; at those mesmerizing eyes that hid so much passion. The guy was so lost in his fantasies that he did not realize that he had been silent and just smiling a silly smile for a good ten minutes. Somebody coughed awkwardly and that finally got the CEO's attention. Jaejoong blinked twice and cleared his throat. The embarrassment was not visible on his face, but as soon as the entrepreneur turned to the screen, explaining the data on the slide, a guilty smile appeared on his face. The man was distracted throughout the meeting and he finally started to think that he should have woken Yunho up. He tried to snap back to reality and catch up with the information presented by others, but to no avail. When the man actually managed to focus, a faint cry in the far distance rang in his ears. He looked around, confused, but could not figure out the source of the sound.

“Jae-Jaejoong,” the voice cracked.

The CEO knew it was Yunho's voice, he could have recognised it anywhere. But he was surprised that it rang in his ears and thought he was actually hallucinating. Not a minute later the faces of all meeting participants' had the personal assistant's physiognomy and tens of Yunhos were staring back at the wealthy businessman, their eyes warm and smiles wide like never before. The lost guy blinked rapidly, shaking his head. He was going crazy.

“Jaejoong,” all men spoke in unison, “When some day you'll feel lonely, remember that I'm always by your side.”

The raven-haired found it hard to breathe. He had no idea what the fuck was going on, but he wanted for it to stop. The man had never been afraid to see Yunho's face, but that was beyond creepy and way scarier than any hallucinations he had ever had. The CEO groaned silently, closing his eyes and rubbing his eyelids harshly. When he opened them, the meeting was still going on and the real faces of all the people were back. With a sour expression, he patiently waited for the gathering to end. A troubling feeling was lingering on him and he wondered if his fiancé was alright back at home.

Yunho was not okay and the older male was soon to become like that as well. The boss and his secretary were walking back to their work place, but stopped just meters away from their final destination when they saw a couple of men in dark blue police uniforms. Minseo looked at her boss, confused, but could not say anything, because as soon as the police officers saw Jaejoong, they quickly approached.

“Mr. Kim?” one of the officers asked and continued when the raven-haired slightly nodded, “May we have a word? It's about Mr. Jung.”

The bewildered man glanced at the female beside him before heading to his office with both cops. His heartbeat quickened, the man did not have a good feeling about this sudden visit of officials. As he closed the door of his workplace, he could hear how Minseo plopped at her desk behind the door, her whole body tense and breathing unsteady. They both were nervous to hear anything bad linked to the person they loved.

“We won't beat around the bush, sir,” another officer began, when all three men settled on sofas against each other, “Mr. Jung got into an accident and has been confirmed to be dead. He was driving, when his car–”

The CEO's heart dropped and he stopped breathing. After the word 'dead' he did not hear anything else. It couldn't be true. It didn't make sense. Yunho was in their bed, clutching a pillow in his tight embrace and dreaming of peaceful times with his lover. He was definitely not in his car. And his voice calling the older male's name earlier in the meeting could not have been real. This could not be happening.  
“Sir?” the other policeman asked.  
Jaejoong lifted his eyes to look at both men in front of him. He was sad, he was devastated, he was furious, he was miserable. All the guy knew was that he had to see his lover right at that moment. Nothing else mattered, nothing else compared to the truth of Yunho's state. He had to seek for that truth as soon as possible. The man possessed powers that made it easy to make anything possible. So he used them. One second three men were sitting in the office of the head of “Kim&Co”, then the pair of officers went mad – for the CEO had suddenly vanished right in front of their eyes.

The panicking male soon materialised in the penthouse and rushed to the bedroom, only to see an already made bed and no sign of his lover. Where could Yunho possibly be? Definitely not in the place the police told Jaejoong. The CEO was losing his mind, aggressively pushing the thought of truth out of his head. He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. Moments later, the entrepreneur focused his thoughts on his fiancé, determined to find the man. That was all it took for him to disappear into thin air again and reach the place where Yunho really was.

That was all it took for Jaejoong to wish he never created the world.

The room was drenched in dazzling white colour and stuffed with silver instruments. Everything reeked of death and he smelled the burnt taste coming from the body, covered with a white sheet on a metal table. No one was in the room, but the raven-haired could hear some people talking in the hallway. He stood in one place at first, too afraid to move. The man realised that if he did anything from that point, he would have to face the reality, which was unbearable. But then, he had to make sure it was true. With great hesitance in his heart, the man finally came closer to the dead body inch by inch. The stink intensified and Jaejoong's heart was racing like never before. Fear was all over him, crawling under his skin. When the CEO moved the cloth and revealed the dead person's face, he shrieked and his insides were churned.

The face was charred badly, the skin had turned black with flesh visible at some places. With all macabre injuries Jaejoong did not doubt even for a second that it was, in fact, Jung Yunho. The ache that suddenly fell on his shoulders, throughout his body and settled in his heart, could not be compared to anything. It was worse than a mother losing her child or a child waking up from a failed suicide attempt and having to face their mother. Jaejoong found it difficult to breathe as bits and pieces of what the officers told him earlier finally reached his brain.

_“Mr. Jung got into an accident...”_

_“...a truck didn't stop at the red light...”_

_“...couldn't control the wheel...”_

_“...the car was set ablaze...”_

_“...Mr. Jung couldn't be saved...”_

No, Yunho could have been saved, if only... if only Jaejoong was there... if only the personal assistant had not worried and did as the other had wrote for him on the sticky note... if only he had stayed at home and relaxed for a day... if only the entrepreneur woke him up... The tears were pouring down Jaejoong's cheeks and the world was dead to him; he did not even hear people running towards the room. The man knew there was no way he could revive the brunet with his powers for his heart was already cold and there was no ray of hope for this to be just a dream. A really, really bad dream. Still screaming and choking on his salty tears, Jaejoong disappeared from the place, finding his way back to the penthouse. The apartment smelled like Yunho and it made things worse. He did not know what to do with himself. The man heard people say a million times how a piece of them had died, but at that moment he felt like not just a piece was gone... he was gone... everything was gone... Yunho was gone...

The raven-haired had also heard that the sea makes people calm. He had to do something, to think rationally and find something in his powers to bring Yunho back. The last ounces of hope were eating him alive and so he betook to Ulleung, a tiny island. The night was decorating the sky when Jaejoong stood upon the rocky ground. He stared into the darkness, wishing for it to embrace him.

Yunho was dead. The CEO was wailing uncontrollably, but it still did not make any sense. Jaejoong had finally found a person he sincerely cared about, someone that made him entirely human, and now it was snatched from him so easily. No matter how many improbable things the older was capable of, time was something he could never mess with. And oh how he wished to turn it back right then. He craved for Yunho's magical touch, his warm eyes, and his beautiful soul. The entrepreneur had not had enough of it all. It was too soon. The guy felt weak and worthless. He was the force that set the beginning for every little tiny thing in the entire world, the absolute and the undying energy. But when it came down to keeping Yunho alive, he was just a force... In the end, everything was set by the rules that were not for him to create.

The raven-haired grew furious, the frustration eating him from the inside. The cries turned into loud growls, directed at no one. His own creation had betrayed him and it must be destroyed. Jaejoong gazed at the darkness, his puffed red eyes aching. He lifted his arms, stretching his fingers, keeping them together. Slowly, the man parted his limbs and with his movements, so did the water. It looked comical, resembling a scene from the Bible, but Jaejoong did not care. No one could see and he was not doing it for people's entertainment. Messing with such a huge amount of water was proof of his unbeatable powers and that was all the man needed – the proof that he was capable of destroying the world.

What would the brunet think? The thought was flickering in Jaejoong's brain like a red light, but he bundled it away. Nothing mattered. Yunho was dead.

Yunho was dead. Jaejoong was stuck on Earth.

Yunho was dead. Jaejoong had too much humanity in him.

Yunho was dead. Jaejoong had grown himself a heart and it condemned him.

Yunho was dead. Jaejoong entered his own personal Hell on Earth.

When the next day Jaejoong woke up in the penthouse, Yunho was still dead.


	20. 1 November 2012

It had been almost a year since the direst moment in Jaejoong's life took place, and the man woke up having no idea what joy and misery it would bring. Maybe because in some parts of the world it was the day of the dead, he never figured it out. The raven-haired woke up before the alarm clock, still having trouble sleeping. He never remembered how many hours he had managed to spend in the dreamland, nor did he ever remember the visions that visited him in the so-needed sleep. The man kept himself busy all the time, eating up small businesses and expanding his own giant company by day and then tearing things apart by night. The only reasonable way to let out his emotions, he found, was catching small insects in the penthouse and killing them. Sometimes, like a curious, small child, he would torture the little helpless creatures by tearing off their limbs or heads. The anguish and despair were erosive and killed the man from the inside slowly and painfully ever since the most important man in his life left it.

Jaejoong never invited someone over to his place again. So when, on November 1st, he woke up, the man was not sure what happened first: did he open his eyes or did the foreign smell invade his nose? He furrowed his eyebrows and immediately sat up in bed. Glancing at his mobile phone, the guy realised that he did not wake up before the alarm but, surprisingly, overslept. He still had time to get to work, but the routine had to be hectic. However, the strange smell puzzled him more, so he bounced off the bed and walked towards the source, which happened to be the kitchen. There, a tall and fit figure stood at the stove. Light steam was flowing up from the pan and Jaejoong finally found out that the source of the smell was pancakes. The CEO looked at the person, or more like at their back, cautiously. He had no idea who the intruder could be, the only person that had ever broke into his apartment was Jihu and the man was sure that this time it was not the same person.

“You know,” the male began to talk, startling the owner of the place, “now would be a good time to call Minseo and tell her you're ditching work today.”

The speaker finally turned his head around and smirked at the raven-haired, flashing him a bright smile. When Jaejoong saw the other man's face, he grabbed onto the kitchen counter, otherwise he would have plopped onto the ground. It was him, the only person that mattered in the entire world. How did Jaejoong not recognise him first? Maybe because this seemed a bit too insane? Seeing the brown eyes he adored was not something new, they appeared from time to time, but that man never spoke and any figure had always looked somewhat transparent. How could he possibly be in the kitchen, speaking, and be doing any physical action, let alone be making pancakes?

“So? You're that lost without me? Can't even pick up your phone?” the guy at the stove laughed in a loving manner.

Jaejoong gulped, completely astonished by the sight. He did not know what had gotten into him, but he rushed to the bedroom, grabbed his phone and ran back to the kitchen. The raven-haired did not even think that the other man could be gone by the time he was back and there was a reason for that – the person was still in the kitchen, now putting the last pancake on the plate.

“Come on, give Minseo a call and eat the pancakes. I made them just for you,” the taller male spoke, sitting at the bar and putting the plate with food on the cleared surface.

The CEO blinked, squeezing the phone in his hand tightly. He sat on the opposite side and dialled the secretary's number, not letting the other man from his sight anymore. The brunet had a wide smile plastered on his face and his chocolate orbs were gleaming at the entrepreneur.

“Minseo,” the older guy started, pressing the mobile device to his ear, “I will not come to work today.”

“What about the takeover? Today is the final day,” the secretary said.

“It does not matter,” the man blurted, feeling tears at the corners of his eyes.

“Jaejoong?” the lady asked, hearing a sudden wave in the other's tone, “What's up?”

The man with black hair whispered a quick 'nothing' and ended the call. Tears were running down his cheeks uncontrollably and he had no idea what to do with himself.

“I'm happy you got so close to Minseo. But speaking of all those vicious business strategies, you must stop it, my love,” the other guy said, not minding Jaejoong's crying, “You're ruining innocent peoples' lives. It's not like you need more money. And what's with killing all those small creatures?”

“H-how did y-you know?” the CEO stammered through tears.

“I told you, I'll follow you anywhere.”

The entrepreneur breathed hard, none of it made sense at all. There was no way that the brown-haired guy could be alive. He saw his scorched body and those jaded eyes a year ago, there was zero chance the human could have revived from the dead. And yet, an hour into awkward disbelief and Jaejoong's painfully slow consumption of food, the raven-haired found himself relaxed and enjoying the presence of that strange illusion. A dumb spark of hope was born inside of him, because maybe, just maybe, it was true and Yunho was back.

When the CEO ate all the incredibly delicious pancakes, the brunet washed the plate and began strolling around the apartment, with the other man following him around. The older male was dying to run into his lover's arms, but he was too afraid to touch the other for he feared that the man might disappear from the slightest touch. The mix of emotions Jaejoong was feeling at that moment was incredible and undefinable. The presence of his lover was surreal and too good to be true, but at the same time the raven-haired began to cling onto the tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, it could have actually been so. To believe that it was just a dream would have been too excruciating at that time.

“Why are you silent? I think we have a lot to talk about,” the taller man spoke, suddenly stopping and turning around, causing the other to bump into him.

“I am not sure what to say. There is too much to tell...”

“I can just bombard you with questions, if it's easier for you,” Yunho cupped the other's face.

The guy kept silent, he just leaned into the touch. The way his lover's warm palm massaged his cheek was surreal and the raven-haired sighed, feeling calmness blooming inside of him as never before. All the fury and despair was sucked out of him by just a mere touch of the person he loved so dearly. The businessman smiled, almost forgetting how to breathe. He was excited, almost ecstatic, but the annoying bundle of distrustfulness kept pounding in the back of his mind and so Jaejoong did not even realise when the words rolled off of his tongue:

“What are you doing here?”

“Don't you remember my last words? I told you I'd always be by your side,” the other man responded without any hesitation, still caressing the CEO's face.

“You are the one who should be still walking on this Earth and I am the one who should be watching over you. This is not right!” the shorter male suddenly shouted, opening his eyes.

“Sweetheart, calm down,” the ghost cooed, sitting down on a sofa in the living room and making the guy copy his movements.

Jaejoong felt his eyelids getting heavy as he listened to Yunho's soothing voice. The man drowned in the younger male's tight embrace. The other kept talking, but the entrepreneur was too besotted with Yunho's presence that he heard only fragments of the man's monologue:

_“... you're so creative, Jaejoong...”_

_“... the maker of everything...”_

_“... even if your heart is of steel, the core is so soft and warm...”_

_“... but what's up with that Christmas tree? You should've thrown it away after the holidays...”_

_“... I know you wanna follow me, but you must stay...”_

_“... I've seen you pulverising flies, spiders and whatnot at night...”_

_“... don't be destructive...”_

_“... stop crushing other people's businesses..."_

_“... Jaejoong, I love you.”_

The man was not too sure which words were the last to reach his ears. But when he tried to snuggle closer to Yunho's chest and realised that there was no heartbeat, in fact, there was no firm body against his head anymore, the CEO opened his eyes and immediately shifted on the sofa. He was surrounded by complete darkness, only the lights from the last year's Christmas tree were dimly illuminating the room. The raven-haired panicked, trashing around and looking for the other guy. He began running through the whole penthouse, trying to find the real light of his life, but his search was meaningless and soon he felt like he was walking around in a maze that lead to nowhere. By the time Jaejoong came back to the living room, he was panting terribly. He looked at the now obtrusively flickering Christmas tree lights (he bought one during last holidays, when his fiancé was already gone, but never bothered to throw it away) and went crazy, when Yunho's voice started to echo through the entire place again.

_“... what's up with that?”_

The raven-haired growled as he sped up to the unfortunate tree and held the giant plant in his hands. He lifted it into the air and millions of dead thorns fell down on him. Jaejoong screamed, throwing the tree to the other side of the room and breaking several vases and other fragile things along the way.

_“... don't be destructive...”_

Jaejoong stomped around the place, like a child without his beloved candy, but the anger inside was already boiling up and there was no coming back. The man continued grunting, kicking and breaking the material things around him.

“How can I?” he began frustrated, “how can I stay calm, when I have so much of you in my heart, Yunho?”

The CEO's irritation only grew bigger and more lurid. Breathing rapidly, he picked up his phone and dialled the number he knew by heart. He had to tell Yunho to come back. If only the man could come back home, everything would be alright. When after few rings a monotonous voice announced that the number was unreachable, Jaejoong was mad. Still with the phone pressed tightly to his ear, he began shouting:

“How dare you? How dare you leave me?” he paused and shrieked, before starting to sob: “I am GOD!”

It was the first and the last time he had ever said that aloud in his entire existence. Hot tears were streaming down the guy's face uncontrollably. He was so powerless and he could not believe himself. The man collapsed on the hard floor, rocking back and forth. His knuckles had turned white from clutching the mobile device close to his face, while the same beeping was audible in the room. Jaejoong then smelled something burning and, without looking, he realised that a plastic vase had melted from cracked Christmas lights.

_“... you must stay...”_

In that moment, the entrepreneur knew that he would not have cared if, not only a vase, but the whole apartment had melted from the heat. Maybe then he could follow Yunho and be left in flames to die like the ghost that visited him that day.


	21. 24 December 2013

A bit more than a year passed after Jaejoong saw Yunho's face vividly for the last time. Ever since it happened, the beautiful features of the man, even his voice, were pushed out of the still breathing male's memory bit by bit. The dead guy would configure in the CEO's dreams, but with all his might he tried to put an end to it. After some smites, the man found the solution, which was nothing more than opening his vicious heart to the world. The same polluted piece of meat he was hiding so carefully from the brunet and which was hooked to his ribs, stuck there and stinging. As all of his powers were back and the only human being he had ever truly loved was gone, Jaejoong saw no point in hiding anything. At nights, avoiding the dreamland, he moved from catching and killing small flies or spiders to finding himself in other parts of the world, slaughtering any animal that would come to his sight. He never got his hands dirty though, for the strength his mind possessed was enough for anything or anyone to fulfil any whim of his.

Yet, as the entrepreneur watched with delight as the life would leave the small bodies of animals forever, he just really really missed Yunho. All he wanted was for the man to come home, but it was impossible. The deceased was Jaejoong's only memory, which hurt like a fresh wound. Everyday the CEO felt empty and wished for someone, or more precisely, his only true lover, to take it away. As the raven-haired still heard the other whispering in the apartment or felt him in his bones, he knew very well he could never find another Yunho. While looking at the pictures they had taken together, he desired for the younger male to stare back at him, but it was never going to happen. All he could do was just carry the gone man in his memory forever, but it seemed too much to bear. With all the pain and glory both men shared, it was all over. The older guy found himself lost in the present day, in the past and even in the future that never happened. He felt like his whole being was invaded by the brunet and he tried his best to stop it. No matter how much of the other man he had in his heart, it was already too dark and too late for it to change. And Yunho's words that told him to stop crushing small lives or expanding his business, surely did not leave any impact on the cruel man.

But when on the day before Christmas, two years after Yunho's death, Jaejoong entered a coffee shop in the morning, even he had no idea what the day would bring. His only intention was to get his morning coffee and a bagel, since he could not bring himself to order anyone around like he used to do with Yunho. But there sat the young male that the raven-haired did not wish to see ever again. Their last encounter resulted in one of them losing a piece of his tongue and one eye. The last time the CEO saw the other man, he looked differently. If four years ago he had red-dyed hair and a cocky smile plastered on his face, now simple black hair sat on top of his head and a serious, almost business-like, expression decorated the more mature seeming face. But the obvious change in the man and his life did not matter to Jaejoong. It did not change the simple fact that a few years ago, the hideous man was all over Yunho, the only person he had ever really cared about.

“Good morning! What'd you like?” a lively barista chirped.

“Jihu,” the entrepreneur breathed out, not really comprehending what just left his mouth.

The young girl behind the counter looked puzzled and Jaejoong was quick to snap out of his thoughts and place the order. As the girl quickly went to work, he turned back to look at Yunho's ex-boyfriend. The businessman could not avert his eyes away from the other. The longer he stared, the more scornful his gaze became. Despite daggers being thrown at him, Jihu seemed to be oblivious to the world. He was sitting in the middle of the small coffee house, a cup of warm brown liquid resting in his hand. His phone rang, so he quickly answered and it was a piece of cake for Jaejoong to hear the conversation from both ends.

“Daddy!” a girly voice squeaked on the other side.

“Hey, babygirl!” Jihu responded, his speech a bit vague.

“Mommy already woke up and said I can call daddy!”

“Sorry daddy didn't say goodbye before going to work. But you need to go back to sleep, it's too early for either of my princesses to be awake!”

“Your coffee, sir,” the youthful barista interrupted Jaejoong's sinful act of hears-dropping.

The man took his hot drink and fresh pastry. He thanked the girl and settled at a vacant table, not too close to his target. The man's face was expressionless, but there was a lot going on in his head at that moment. The face of Jaejoong's lover was vividly right in front of him, but it did not scare him. Yunho rarely opened up about his past, but the raven-haired did not need the other to speak in order to find out things. By now, he had all the power that allowed him to do anything, to know anything.

Jaejoong was so profusely powerful, yet he could not understand Jihu. How could he be so childish? How could he break Yunho's heart? How could he come after him and attempt to claim the man as his again? Of course, the brunet breaking up with the youngster so many years ago was probably the only thing that let Jaejoong and Yunho meet, but he did not care about that. The circumstances did not matter to him, he knew just one thing – no one had right to hurt Yunho and those who had already done that shall be punished. Yes, the CEO had already made Jihu suffer, but as he saw the guy living a happy life, his fury stirred once again.

Suddenly, Jihu's chuckle echoed through the calm place and the businessman hissed. The giggle rang like a siren in his sensitive ears and all he could think of was how could Jihu laugh when Yunho was dead. Most likely he was not even aware of the fact that the man had passed away, but the older man ignored the obvious. Every single tiny detail about Jihu agitated him so greatly. The raven-haired felt his blood boil, wishing for male in the middle of the place to literally rot in Hell. His fingers curled around the ceramic mug of, now lukewarm, coffee tightly and he wished for it to be the other man's heart. Killing meant nothing to him and putting someone to their death bed was the easiest task ever, even though he had never killed a human being in his current life. But Jihu had cast misery over Yunho once and he had to pay the price, set by no one else but Jaejoong.

“I will crush you. Right here, right now,” with fire dancing in his eyes, the entrepreneur made a contemptuous snoot at the sitting male.

As the wrathful man focused his gaze on the other's side profile, he pressed harder onto the ceramic. It was the matter of only four short seconds before Jihu gasped, furrowing his brows. The mobile device fell out of his hand, crashing on the table, and he finally let go of his cup. His heart began to tingle lightly, but it was unusual enough for he had never had any health problems. Soon, the strange feeling began to sting and he gasped for more air as his lungs seemed to tighten. The wooden chair toppled as if somebody had grazed it purposely, but no one was close enough to the struggling man to kick the piece of furniture. He fell on the floor, failing to support himself by grabbing onto the edge of the table. His heart twitched and twisted, the blood no longer flowing into the vital muscle. The suffocating guy grabbed onto his chest, trying to massage the left side of it, panic quickly taking over his mind. Too dumbfounded by the situation, neither did he hear someone calling for the ambulance, nor did he see the a couple of paramedics approaching him soon after.

With his fingers still firmly fixed around the mug, Jaejoong scoffed at the people, who were desperately trying to save the gasping man. He knew the guy was a lost cause and no one could have saved him unless Jaejoong wished for it and there was no way he ever would. Other visitors of the café were gathering around the scene, some people with children tried to get out. But the show was not over for the entrepreneur and he smiled victoriously, when an idea popped up in his mind. He loosened his grip on the ceramic and at the same moment Jihu took a deep breath. Witnesses looked completely shocked, some thought the dying man was just putting up a silly prank. Jaejoong slowly stood up, keeping his eyes on the man. With his ass still plopped on the tiled floor, Jihu gasped for air again. With one invisible but swift blow, the oxygen was knocked out of his lungs completely. Feeling something sticky trickling down his cheeks, he pressed his fingers onto the skin. He quickly glanced at his hands just to see blood on them. The man touched his face again, but this time thick layer of skin came off as well, leaving him a screaming mess. His eyes began darting around the place, his mind slowly giving up on him. The guy's gaze finally landed on Jaejoong, who just formed his lips into a small mischievous smile. The dying guy inhaled to say something, but a lump was stuck in his throat and he could not produce any sound. The raven-haired knew already how it all was going to end, so he just left, not feeling any need to witness the scene. As he silently closed the door of the chaotic place, Jihu coughed out a weird looking piece that no one could define at first.

“It looks like,” one of the two paramedics spoke up, thinking hard, “Oh God, it looks like a piece of a muscle! What's going on?!”

People in the place were losing their minds and started running out of the café. Jihu just wailed loudly before he began coughing harder, feeling the strange big lump inside his throat coming up. Before it could actually slip out of his mouth, his eyes stopped wandering around. There were no traces of blood in his veins or air in his lungs left. His body slumped forward and his mouth was now agape. With the guy's teeth grazing it a bit, a big bloody hunk flopped onto the floor from his mouth. Both paramedics went into the complete mayhem as they recognised the strange red object to be a heart. More help and the police came soon after, completely shutting down the place. They tried to keep any reporters or just passerby from peeking inside. People do not just simply choke on their own hearts, right?

But Jihu was not the only victim of Jaejoong's sudden rage and desire to get human blood on his hands. The raven-haired casually went to work and carried out his daily tasks as if nothing had happened. It was hard to hide his excitement evoked by that morning, and Minseo, the secretary that stood closely by his side, was quick to see that something was odd. The woman tried asking her boss what got him into such an unusual cheerful mood, but the man just laughed the question away while signing another contract by which yet another company was annexed by his. The youngster's convulsing body was stuck in the back of Jaejoong's mind, amusing to him to a great extent and causing him to want more. So, although he went back home much later after a long day at the office, instantly met by the vanilla scent of Yunho that never vaporised away from the apartment, he found himself back in the hallway.

The entrepreneur sat in his car, driving without knowing where. His subconsciousness was taking control over his physical body and soon the man found himself sitting on one of the church benches. He was in a sacred place that Yunho loved so much and visited not only every Christmas Eve, but also almost every Sunday. Better known as Myeongdong Cathedral, it was crowded with religious people, because the Shepherd's Mass was taking place at that moment. Jaejoong had not been in a church for a very long time and for a few moments he found himself mesmerised by everything that was happening. The people standing up or kneeling, whispering prayers along with the priest. He tried to imagine Yunho doing the same, but it seemed something unfathomable. The entrepreneur was never capable to understand how thoughtful, forgiving, and unbelievably trusting man was a believer of some God. The CEO wondered if the guy knowing the truth about his lover's existence would had changed anything and got him out of the stupid religious circle.

When people started celebrating the Eucharist and the priest held up a piece of bread, “the body of Christ,” the raven-haired wanted to smash his face against the wooden bench in front of him. He found the whole procedure so utterly disgusting and stupid that he could not withhold it anymore. The world seemed so meaningless with such people breathing and walking around it freely. Jaejoong was not even sure what was the point of him still living his current life. With Yunho being gone, there was nothing left for him. Perhaps he could have just vanished for good, leaving the whole world behind, but it meant destroying it and being back in the dark abyss with nothing, but just the almighty force floating in the timeless and endless space. Yunho had told him to stay, to carry on living. But Jaejoong had already defied the plead of the dead man by still torturing poor animals and destroying other people's precious companies. There was no ounce of care left in the man and he was ready to end it all.

The entrepreneur made his final decision, when the priest now held the glass with wine in the air. He looked directly at the man and a smile appeared on his face, when the clergyman sipped a little bit of the liquid in the glass. The raven-haired gazed at the transparent cup and with his wish, it fell from the standing man's hands, crashing down on the tiled floor. The confusion was written all over the priest's face and he turned red while just stupidly looking at the shattered glass. Some young altar servers rushed to assist the bewildered priest. Jaejoong chuckled at the sight and decided to mess around with the poor minister of religion more. Throughout the rest of the ceremony, the old man would trip over his own cassock or accidentally throw something of the altar. When out of blue the bible in his hands was set on fire, not only did he freak out, but the fear from everybody sitting in the church was gathering in the air like a thick mist. The CEO loved the panic radiating form everybody around him. He could have kept on living just from the dread of other people. At that moment he knew that no one was going to leave the building alive.

Instead of quenching the burning book, Jaejoong let the fire to spread. It stuck to the priest like a bubble gum first, then moved down from the altar to everybody that had gathered for the Mass. It started a true chaos. All the people were screaming and running to the exit, too scared for their own lives to help the burning priest, who's throat was already giving up on him. The heavy doors of the church seemed to be locked and even the strongest men with a bench could not to break them. The smoke was escaping into the street through all possible cracks and gaps in the walls and whatnot. The Christians were choking on the grey smoke and the burning tears. Jaejoong watched them all burn and he did not even flinch when the fire caught his clothes and then soon his skin. The pain trying to reach his mind was nothing compared to the ache he hid deep in his heart.

And still, Jaejoong thought, he could not feel his heart sometimes. All that was left inside was just the shame of everything he had ever done. There was nothing left to say, but it was not bothersome as the man knew that he would soon fade away. All the places he had ever seen there lost in time and the faces were taunting the guy whenever he looked back. The worst part was that those faces... they were all his. He tried so much to hide from his past, to find a better way, but in the end he was trapped and could not get away. Ever since Yunho died, the raven-haired thought of how he could have died the previous day. So much hung above him and sometimes the entrepreneur wished he could have flown to a place where he was allowed to cry. Because the brunet was dead, no one heard his calls and they only echoed back at the sad man, who could not deal with all the nameless feelings sprouting in his heart. He would have given everything to just lay in bed with Yunho again, but there was nothing to give. Jaejoong knew it was time to leave that place far behind, although he was bound to be all alone and trapped inside of himself for all of time. Now the man knew why he felt daunted by Yunho, and saw a threat in the other the first time he saw him.

The church's roof started falling down and crushed some people. Jaejoong lifted his eyes to the hole in the roof, seeing shining stars in the night sky. He did not know why, but at that moment it looked breathtaking. And literally, the last movement did take the man's breath away as he closed his heavy eye-lids. Jung Yunho's face was the only thing that shot forth before Kim Jaejoong's life burned altogether with a bunch of Christians in the middle of Seoul, the capital of South Korea.

The next day, on Christmas, a beautiful girl was born to Smith's family. Both parents were expecting a boy, but they were fast to think of a name for the unexpected baby girl. And so, Rachel Smith was introduced to the world. No one knew that the newborn would grow up to be a beloved woman, carrying all the world's pain in her heavy heart. A handsome man with Asian features would haunt the unfortunate girl in her dreams since before she could remember. But as Rachel would grow, the memories of her past lives together with unbeatable powers would come back to her and she would know the name of the mysterious man. Only two foreign words “Jung Yunho” would make her feel miserable for the rest of her new current life.

And even when the death would become so frequent and more familiar than ever before, she could not leave Earth, which had become her own personal place of suffering and misery; her very true Gehenna.

She could not get Jung Yunho out of her head.

She was trapped.

Always and forever.


End file.
